PTSD and Trauma recovery

[tuffboi29]

In the beginning i sought out this so-called 'help' and was told i had tourrettes(dont know if i spelled it right) because of facial and bodily tics that kept me out of public for years bacause of embarressment of being stared at.Also i was diagnosed a a scitzoefective(i know i didnt spell that right) because of these things i kept seeing.Now recently much to my relief i was told i have neither of those conditions and i wasnt hallucinating.I've been 're-living' all these unmentionable memories over and over while awake and while asleep.But guys...heres the kicker to it all....I did seek further help and made the damn shrink CRY!!!She said she could'nt help me and to go find a different therapist.So now i'm researching on my own and trying to find help anywhere possible.Even going to school for pschycology to study and treat myself.I can also relate to some of you when you say that family doesnt help and heightens the stress levels.Example:4 days ago I had a horrible panic attack that made me puke and had my ma standing over me at the toliet yelling at me to "stop it!!there's nothing wrong with you!!you just need to grow up and face life!!" Needless to say i should have my own apartment next week so i can panic in 'peace' so to speak.OK,so now I'm asking,will you all keep up the comments and suggestions, anything you've learned to lessen or ease these symptoms?I would so love to have a nap....


sinserly,
a confukled boi

[*Magic_and_Silk*]

Yes, I have PTSD. It came from years of horrible abuse from when my kids were young (They are both over 21 now). Last year I had a horrible episode and a person (they know who they are...no names) gave me a meditation that helped so much, I was astounded. I think it helped so much because I WANTED it to.

I have been to counseling.

I have read and cried and felt so alone. It brings tears to my eyes now to see how many other people have had to endure these things in life that were so terrible that it scarred so deeply. We are fragile souls, all of us, even in the midst of being strong.

Having PTSD is difficult, terrifying and so lonely. But, what is worse is knowing that there is no one in your immediate vicinity who will hold you while you cry. THAT is the worst. The thread is like the hug and TLC that I never got when I needed it most.

Thank you, so much, to all of you who have written here. Thank you for your courage and your honesty. When I am more comfortable (I am new here), and I know I won't cause waves, step on toes or be the target of more disdain or anger, I will tell my story.

Until then, Bless you all, EVERY ONE!

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Tuffboi29,

Yes, they are night terrors. I have those. I find myself kicking, hitting, screaming, and the like. Go see a sleep disorder doc. Get a study done. Then from there you will be sent to a therapist. Go. See if you can get relief.

I took your advice and ran with it wholeheardedly.Ive been hacking at this for a little while now and have been properly diagnosed which led to proper treatment.The nights are still rough but I'm sleeping longer.My therapist is pleased with what progress I've made in this seemingly short amount of time.All in all I have a renewed sense of hope.The misdiagnosis I had lived with for years is almost a distant memory and I find myself grateful that I no longer have to live with the shame and fear it brought to my life.For with the label that was tacked so carelessly on me there was no hope or cure.At least now I am learning new coping skills and have hope for the future for if I keep at it...I WILL get better,because now there is the option to.Don't get me wrong I know that this will never fully leave me...but there is a better way to live with it and overcome the fear and 'fight or flight' that plauges me everyday.

Lastly I would like to give my thanks for this thread.I am no longer alone.I have a place to ask for help or simply leave my fears.I find myself coming back in here often just to reread everyones words.I find them a comfort when I can't sleep knowing one of you may be reading the same thing and are...in some way sitting up with me.

[Canela]

Praise God...I feel soooo much better today! Thank you all of you who prayed and who wished me well...I feel like my old self again...the battle is over! Amen!

Here's wishing all of you here a better day too!

[Jet]

Unless I'm mistaken, I thought this thread was for people diagnosed with PTSD and trauma survival, not just an anxiety disorder.

[Apocalipstic]

I have both PTSD and an anxiety and panic disorder, it can all be very interconnected. I do take quite a bit of medication and find it really helps. Without it, I can't even leave the house.

Not all medication is bad.

[Canela]

Originally Posted by Jet

Unless I'm mistaken, I thought this thread was for people diagnosed with PTSD and trauma survival, not just an anxiety disorder.

And here I thought this was supposed to be a support of some sort to vent, share and help...diagnosis or not.

Some people don't have an official diagnosis of PTSD cuz not all drs recognize it as such...

And it seems like the list in the very beginning (OP) triggered some just reading it and recognizing themselves in it...as living with PTSD survivors...some of whom didn't even realize they had PTSD...amazing when you think about it...how some have lived their whole lives dealing with PTSD, anxiety, fear and the like without ever being "officially" diagnosed....

I want to send a hug to all of you who have had to deal with this without benefit of meds, diagnosis or support until now.

And I want to thank Apocalipstic for starting this thread because I look back and see so much growth and change in so many of us just from having this "safe" place.

God bless you all and I wish you much peace and success in your lives...

Shug

[Rockinonahigh]

Jet..Im sorry u feel this way.Over the years we all go through things and it afects us in diffrent ways,only when we are willing to really look into how we feel do we realise what we are dealing with and also why.In listining to others talk about what they go through do we come to grips with what is ging on that had bothered us for so long.I hope u have a good day and have contentment that the day is better than the last.
Today was better than yesterday for me,Last night I got out of the house for the first time to go out with friends and have some fun,my back blew out and I barely made it to the car to go home,this is part of why im stresed out cause of my fear of what will happen if and when it goes out..will I be able to get home or will someone step out of the box and give a stranger a hand in help.Its been along time since I have ventured out with the exception of the normal daily things I need to do...could I handle it when it happened cause I took a deep breath and did handle it..it didnt handle me.With the help of some meds with a good nights sleep today is way better,my friends and I went out today for several hours only this time I was better prepared to be out and deal with the day.I wore my shoes that have killer inserts to help my back,used my dam cane to help me along...anyway it was better cause of the help and info I receved from hear.Thank all of u for the helpful things that made my day better.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Jet..Im sorry u feel this way.Over the years we all go through things and it afects us in diffrent ways,only when we are willing to really look into how we feel do we realise what we are dealing with and also why.In listining to others talk about what they go through do we come to grips with what is ging on that had bothered us for so long.I hope u have a good day and have contentment that the day is better than the last.
Today was better than yesterday for me,Last night I got out of the house for the first time to go out with friends and have some fun,my back blew out and I barely made it to the car to go home,this is part of why im stresed out cause of my fear of what will happen if and when it goes out..will I be able to get home or will someone step out of the box and give a stranger a hand in help.Its been along time since I have ventured out with the exception of the normal daily things I need to do...could I handle it when it happened cause I took a deep breath and did handle it..it didnt handle me.With the help of some meds with a good nights sleep today is way better,my friends and I went out today for several hours only this time I was better prepared to be out and deal with the day.I wore my shoes that have killer inserts to help my back,used my dam cane to help me along...anyway it was better cause of the help and info I receved from hear.Thank all of u for the helpful things that made my day better.

I don't feel any way...I'm trying to get a grip what this thread is about. Apparently I'm in the wrong to be posting here and I've wasted my time.
No problem.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

And here I thought this was supposed to be a support of some sort to vent, share and help...diagnosis or not.

Some people don't have an official diagnosis of PTSD cuz not all drs recognize it as such...

And it seems like the list in the very beginning (OP) triggered some just reading it and recognizing themselves in it...as living with PTSD survivors...some of whom didn't even realize they had PTSD...amazing when you think about it...how some have lived their whole lives dealing with PTSD, anxiety, fear and the like without ever being "officially" diagnosed....

I want to send a hug to all of you who have had to deal with this without benefit of meds, diagnosis or support until now.

And I want to thank Apocalipstic for starting this thread because I look back and see so much growth and change in so many of us just from having this "safe" place.

God bless you all and I wish you much peace and success in your lives...

Shug

UMMMMM...PTSD has a very close relationship with aniety disorders and phobias as well.

The DSM has five axes for many good reasons... mainly we are all pretty complex and PTSD is seated in a syndrome complex taking in many characteristics of various symtomology and disorders (although, I hate using the term disorder).

I give Apocalipstic many thanks, too! And, jet, have you given thought that it might just be you that is wasting other people's time? You might want to do a review of PTSD literature before making such rude remarks to people trying to give each other support.

[Soft*Silver]

I have a diagnosis of PTSD...but I dont come in here until now. I understand the need to have a safe secure place to discuss our issues but the internet, especially a very public one such as this one, is not the safest forum. I hope Jet comes back and makes allowances for the amount of privacy one can have here...

[Apocalipstic]

I want to make clear that I statrted the thread for anyone who wanted to duscuss coping with PTSD or trauma. I don't think you have to have an official diagnosis to know you have experienced trauma and that it affects your life in many ways.

Jet, sorry if you feel you have wasted you time, I think your posts and discussion have been useful, educational and supportive, and I thought it sounded like you felt supported too.

I think it is important to serve as a place where people who are searching for answers can find out they are not alone. No official diagnosis needed.

In my life I am finding that sometimes the tests for official diagnosis make my symptoms way worse than they were in the first place.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by softness

I have a diagnosis of PTSD...but I dont come in here until now. I understand the need to have a safe secure place to discuss our issues but the internet, especially a very public one such as this one, is not the safest forum. I hope Jet comes back and makes allowances for the amount of privacy one can have here...

I am so much medication and have been through so much to me privacy is overrated and can sometimes allow hurtful things to on that would notfly in the public eye.

So I like this format.

But I have the luxury of having a therapist I can talk about things I am afraid no one else wants to know about....details.

I do want people, expecially those who live in populated areas to know that mental health services are avaiable at sliding scales and often for free through the govt. even medication.

[Starbuck]

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Hypervigilance and scanning Yes
• Elevated startle response Yes
• Blunted affect, psychic numbing Yes
• Aggressive, controlling behavior (a high degree of insistence on getting your way) I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me, but yes
• Interruption of memory and concentration YES!!
• Depression Yes, another diagnosis: Major Depression
• Generalized anxiety Yes
• Violent eruptions of rage Very Bad!
• Substance abuse For a while, yes
• Intrusive recall -- different from normal memory in that it brings with it stress and anxiety Yes
• Dissociative experiences, including dissociative flashbacks YES! You feel like you are a robot, watching a movie of yourself from afar
• Insomnia YES! This one has been very difficult to control, I'm on medication
• Suicidal ideation Sadly, yes, 3 attempts on my life
• Survivor guilt Yes

Thoughts?[/QUOTE]

I belong to a women's sexual trauma/PTSD group and I can say that I find great support and even have made friends with many women in the group. With that in mind, I think it's great that you have started this thread, apocalipstic, thank you very much!

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Starbuck

I belong to a women's sexual trauma/PTSD group and I can say that I find great support and even have made friends with many women in the group. With that in mind, I think it's great that you have started this thread, apocalipstic, thank you very much!

Welcome. I hope there is input here or people whom you can identify with who might add positives to your journey.

j

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Hypervigilance and scanning
• Elevated startle response
• Blunted affect, psychic numbing
• Aggressive, controlling behavior (a high degree of insistence on getting your way)
• Interruption of memory and concentration
• Depression
• Generalized anxiety
• Violent eruptions of rage
• Substance abuse
• Intrusive recall -- different from normal memory in that it brings with it stress and anxiety
• Dissociative experiences, including dissociative flashbacks
• Insomnia
• Suicidal ideation
• Survivor guilt

Thoughts?

Thought I would repeat this post.

My symptoms are not as severe as they used to be.

[DMW]

I think all of my hair just turned white from shock.
I wouldn't have believed it...if i had not seen it for myself.
OMG
OMG

I believe i am experiencing that body PTSD

[Canela]

Originally Posted by DMW

I think all of my hair just turned white from shock.
I wouldn't have believed it...if i had not seen it for myself.
OMG
OMG

I believe i am experiencing that body PTSD

I'm so sorry you're going thru this trauma. Just know that you're not alone. ...darkness lasts thru the night, but joy comes in the morning....prayers for healing on their way to you right now.

[Girl Friday]

Originally Posted by DMW

I think all of my hair just turned white from shock.
I wouldn't have believed it...if i had not seen it for myself.
OMG
OMG

I believe i am experiencing that body PTSD

Originally Posted by Canela

I'm so sorry you're going thru this trauma. Just know that you're not alone. ...darkness lasts thru the night, but joy comes in the morning....prayers for healing on their way to you right now.

Very true. You're not alone at all.

Just focus on breathing. And don't forget to accept love from the people who want to give it to you. We always think of ourselves as wanting/being able to "give" love. It's important to remember that if you close yourself off to receiving love you'll miss out on an important facet of life and of healing.

But then...that's just my opinion.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by DMW

I think all of my hair just turned white from shock.
I wouldn't have believed it...if i had not seen it for myself.
OMG
OMG

I believe i am experiencing that body PTSD

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. It is hard to believe some of the symptoms and some of the things we can live through.

Sending healing vibes your way!

Originally Posted by Girl Friday

Very true. You're not alone at all.

Just focus on breathing. And don't forget to accept love from the people who want to give it to you. We always think of ourselves as wanting/being able to "give" love. It's important to remember that if you close yourself off to receiving love you'll miss out on an important facet of life and of healing.

But then...that's just my opinion.

Great advice!

Breathing is the best place to start. When I am really anxious and in pain, I forget to breathe.



Love and light to all of us facing PTSD!