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			 Member 
			
			How Do You Identify?: 
Butch Preferred Pronoun?: 
Hy Relationship Status: 
			
				
			
			Married ![]() Join Date: Nov 2009 
				Location: Vancouver 
				
				
					Posts: 147
				 
				 
	Thanks: 323 
	
		
			
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			I often see when reading the threads, comments from people who say that they are living in a place that has no community. And these comments often include expressions of feeling isolated. And it made me wonder- just how important is having r/t community? 
		
		
		
		
		
		
			I know for me it has been extremely important, to the extent, that from early teenage years I left home and family in the pursuit of being in a place where, as a Butch, I would be surrounded by the familiar. All through my adult life it has been the over-riding factor when deciding where to settle, and even when considering job offers/opportunities, access to community was always the final determiner. But I wonder does that “need” change over time, as we mature, as our priorities change? I know for me it did. When I had to make a decision to leave being in the midst of large and active Butch-Femme Community to be with the woman I loved, I worried about leaving what I had known since those early teenage years. But I shouldn’t have worried- I don’t hanker to be surrounded/submerged by the community as I once did. I feel comfortable and confident enough with who I am without having to be somewhere that is familiar, or in a place where str8 is the anomaly. In fact I’m quiet enjoying not blending in anymore. Have others gone through this- changed geography, what impact has being with/without r/t community had on you? Are there certain times in our lives when it’s more important than others? Is it important, if so, why? 
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	 I don't act this way to change the world. I act this way so that the goddamn world won't change me!  
			-Desert Hearts  | 
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