Online dating and when to ask out?

Ender · 12-26-2017, 01:05 AM

I've been messaging this girl back and forth, and I really don't want to fuck this up. I really like her, but when's a good time to ask her out? (A month, two, a couple weeks?)

girl_dee · 12-26-2017, 05:07 AM

if you are close in proximity why not ask her for coffee or lunch to break the ice? i think now would be a good time for that.

DapperButch · 12-26-2017, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

if you are close in proximity why not ask her for coffee or lunch to break the ice? i think now would be a good time for that.

I agree with dee. I think a couple of exchanges is enough to ask to mee for coffee/lunch if you live close to each other.

I always liked to meet sooner rather than later when I did the online dating thing.

*Anya* · 12-26-2017, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ender

I've been messaging this girl back and forth, and I really don't want to fuck this up. I really like her, but when's a good time to ask her out? (A month, two, a couple weeks?)

I agree with the other posters.

Sooner, rather than later.

We project so much of our own feelings onto someone else in texting and messaging.

Meeting in person is the only way to truly know if what you think that you are feeling is "real".

A simple, low-pressure, coffee date first: always.

Then, you can take it from there. It either will feel right or it won't.

Most important: don't talk yourself out of any red flags or gut feelings.

easygoingfemme · 12-26-2017, 10:21 AM

Absolutely - low pressure not even necessarily a date- but casual coffee/lunch sooner than later. I feel like the energy you have together in person is super important to feel out early on.

homoe · 12-26-2017, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

Absolutely - low pressure not even necessarily a date- but casual coffee/lunch sooner than later. I feel like the energy you have together in person is super important to feel out early on.

EXACTLY.............

Dominique · 12-26-2017, 11:16 AM

Don't wait another day.

For me, the chase is always better than the catch. When it feels like the catch was better than the chase, you found the right one.

kittygrrl · 12-26-2017, 05:51 PM

Enjoy a slow burn...if or when we decide to meet, there are no questions in my mind.

Ascot · 12-26-2017, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Most important: don't talk yourself out of any red flags or gut feelings.

I truly believe this is the most important piece of advice in all of this. I agree about meeting sooner than later, but do yourself a huge favor by going with your gut after that meeting in person. And, it may take a few times, but if you feel that something's off, or it just isn't the right fit, don't force it. (You'll only end up with blisters)

12-26-2017, 01:05 AM	#1
Ender Member How Do You Identify?: Male (trans) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2017 Location: Canada Posts: 198 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 226 Thanked 463 Times in 162 Posts Rep Power: 3629297	Online dating and when to ask out? I've been messaging this girl back and forth, and I really don't want to fuck this up. I really like her, but when's a good time to ask her out? (A month, two, a couple weeks?)

12-26-2017, 11:16 AM	#7
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Don't wait another day. For me, the chase is always better than the catch. When it feels like the catch was better than the chase, you found the right one. __________________ As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be??

12-26-2017, 05:51 PM	#8
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,342 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,565 Thanked 21,933 Times in 7,064 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Enjoy a slow burn...if or when we decide to meet, there are no questions in my mind. __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

12-26-2017, 05:07 AM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	if you are close in proximity why not ask her for coffee or lunch to break the ice? i think now would be a good time for that.

12-26-2017, 10:21 AM	#5
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,662 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,007 Thanked 14,906 Times in 3,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Absolutely - low pressure not even necessarily a date- but casual coffee/lunch sooner than later. I feel like the energy you have together in person is super important to feel out early on.