The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Sometimes, one has to be brutally honest and let the chips fall where they may. I am tired and weary from trying to be nice and respectful and accomodating and seeing things from others perspective. Im tired of being made to feel like I need to compromise for the sake of harmony and solidarity.



-As a butch of whatever ID, do you feel animosity towards (entire groups) of other butch IDs?

YES. OMG YES. I am a female id butch lesbian and it pisses me off to be lumped into a butch category with people who do not id as a female butch lesbian. I like female/femme/woman energy. That is what makes me who I am.

A male butch or male id butch is who they are. No harm, no foul. But the two are not synonymous.

I come on this site and I see all the male id/energy categories in the forums. Within that category I see pages of threads and I say ok cool. I see the femme categories and within those categories I see pages of threads....ok cool. But where is the lesbian stuff? I see a butch category with pages of threads...I dont see anything specific to lesbians. There one 1 ONE UNO lesbian thread located in the gender category? What lesbians cant even have a freakin category? How long has this site been running?

I find it odd that to feel the female/woman/female energy that is who I am, I have to go peek in the femme zone cuz thats where the most visible aspect of who I am is. I feel comfortable there with female energy.

It pisses me off that the butch zone feels very male/masculine energy laden, that it makes me feel uncomfortable, that it make me feel like an outsider, that it makes me feel like a second class citizen.

There is a HUGE difference between female butch energy and male/male masculine energy. When someone tells me their brain is wired like a male, warning bells go off for me. Its called male privelege, male posturing, male stuff. It's not who I am or what I am about.

It pisses me off that my long hard fought id as a female id butch lesbian has to be compromised for the sake of male id/male anything. I fought NOT to be seen as a woman who wanted to be a man and here I am lumped in with the very thing I have fought for decades not to be seen as.

This does not mean I begrudge males /or male id's. I dont. Just as I do not begrudge bi's or gay men or anyone else. Feel free to be whatever and whomever you are. But where do I belong? Where are the lesbians who want the butch-femme dynamic in their lives?

I ask myself why do all these butch-femme sites pop up with such a mixed group of participants? Why not set up a site that is for transmen/male id and those who love them? Why not honor your identities with a home that puts who you are right out there? Im not dissing anyone here but when I fought to be a lesbian, I wanted a lesbian community. What arent the transmen/male id's wanting to establish a homeland of their own? Is it because they have a ready supply of potential mates in their accepting, inclusive former lesbian home? Why mess up a good thing?



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Kobi,

Gloves off. You sound bitter and stuck. Why does me being me take away you being you? It doesn't.
You're a lesbian. I'm a queer. Maybe you should start YOUR OWN site instead of telling others to do that if you're worried my ID takes away from yours or maybe you're just worried my queerness might contaminate you.
I've heard this before.