The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

[Stoney]

Originally Posted by Daryn

WOW. It sounds like you think there is only one definition of butch on this site and I bet there are well more than half a dozen. It sounds like you want one definition of butch that matches how you see yourself as butch. It's never been that way for as long as I can remember and that's more than 35 years of being OUT.

Well it sounds to me that Kobi is merely trying to open her mind to the differences and take them in. because someone relates to something particular doesn't mean they shun the rest.

I see Kobi's posts as a person who is trying to understand differences and more ( forgive me Kobi )up to the times .

I don't believe that just stating the things about herself and her feeling deserve an accusation of exclusion.

In all honesty and I have said this before back ten years ago when I joined B-F ( the other) I honestly found it looking for womyn only site.
In my personal life, I did not think too much about identity, in fact I knew next to nothing about trans gender people. this doesn't mean I don't care about them, or disapprove, or think they shouldn't be on butch-femme website, I just never really gave it much thought. I have been wrapped up into being a lesbian and a feminist for a long time now so that is the history I studied and what I related to.

I have been reading this thread and I have to say we defend what we know and we reach to learn more,, that is what I see Kobi doing here.
Trying to understand , Trying to expand her understanding while holding on to her root beliefs,
Every one has there own experience in this life, I entertain the thoughts of things that resonate with me...that help make-up who I am. I am learning everyday that there are all different kinds of people besides me.

It's like never studying about giraffes, but you have done major research on zebras. I can only relate to giraffes according to what I know about Zebra's and what the two may or may not have in common.

It doesn't mean I don't like giraffes, it doesn't mean I feel threatened by giraffes, it doesn't mean I don't want giraffes in the Zoo cause I never knew anything about giraffes......

Because I don't know anything about giraffes I may ask people about giraffes, I may ask the giraffeabout himself,what he likes or doesnt, what he wants.... how to care for him.


He might just get pissed off at me and tell me I must not like him, and dont want him around , claim I only like one Zebra's because I know more about zebras.... and accuse me of being prejudice against girraffes
When I try to explain I only had time to learn about Zebras because I have been around only zebras and it wasnt that I never cared about girrafes it was that I had to make time for Zebras because I live my life among Zebras.

Eventually if the girrafes go on long enough about how careless and selfish I am for not knowing how to care for them, I might just leave the whole damn Zoo,

I never heard much about giraffes but apparently they seem to get pissed off and accusatory if you havent read the manual before you engage with them.


I want to expand what I know about people, because trans-gendering hasnt interested me, I know little about it, that doesnt me mean I am not supportive, It means I have been busy learning and creating the life that directly relates to me. I try to know a little about alot of things and alot about a few things......



I think most of us are like that.
lack of interest does not equal
bias or dislike.


Peace to everyone......

Stoney