Ask a trans person!

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Bit

I have a question. Lately when Nick and Gryph and I have been out in public, it has seemed to me that people have been going out of their way to call us "ladies."

*snip*

So anyhow, here's my question. Does this happen to you in your area, or is it just the Midwest US; and if it does happen where you are, does it happen to you more when you are with a Femme than if you are alone?

Originally Posted by Bit

Greyson, this is what I was wondering. Now I'm wondering if, in the company of men, Transmen might not have this strange situation... in other words, this thing which has always happened around me, this thing which somehow makes strangers think that any Butch I am with is my sister rather than my lover, is this "the-thing-which-makes-me-invisible-as-a-Femme" at work in yet one more way to make people "un-see" a Transman?

*snip*

If it is, then I can finally understand the knee-jerk reaction some Transmen have had to the idea of staying in the community, and the insistence some Transmen have had on being with straight women rather than Femmes.

*snip*

Am I on the right track here? Or am I way out in left field?

Hi Bit...

I don't think it's a regional thing at all. From *my* experiences, I was not perceived as male when I was out-n-about because I was read as female. It didn't matter if it was out west, on the east coast, down in Texas, or up in Minnesota.

I had top surgery 16 months prior to starting T. During that time, I very often was sir'd upon initial contact........and then I spoke.

Prior to that, I bound my chest. If someone picked up on that fact, then they didn't even need my voice to "clue them in".

It didn't matter how I dressed, carried myself, or wore my hair. They read me as female, so I was "ma'am" and "lady". And what really sucked is that I don't recall thinking that anyone was *ever* being disrespectful. Quite the opposite, actually.

For me, these were my experiences whether or not I was alone, with family, with guys, or with femmes. It just didn't matter.

So I don't know that *that* would be the reason a transman would opt out of the company of other queers and/or femmes. Just my opinion, of course...

Respectfully,
Thinker