Loving a Transman Isn't Easy

[iamkeri1]

Originally Posted by Quintease

My husband and I have been looking into fertility treatment. I didn't realise the moment I told my gynaecologist that my husband was transsexual, we lost our right to privacy. It was awful and I felt violated, receiving copies of the letters she had written regarding our treatment and my husbands transsexuality. It's an endless journey my friend

The worst part of this is that the therapist often exaggerates (on paper)problems in a transpersons life since the more f'd up they are, the more likely they are to get insurance coverage for their transition. This exaggeration is then passed on, possibly endlessly, sending the impression of "malfunction" in the T person's life and relationship ahead of them to any treatment situation. My husband was the most loving, generous, stable, "normal" person you could hope to meet, yet his psych chart made him read like a paycho, LOL.

A piece of advice for those of you seeking fertility assistance. Unless you already have children, INSIST on having tests done to assure your own fertility before you submit to artificial insemination.

The women in my family have had many fertility issues. Two of my Aunts wre unable to conceive at all, My Mother had seven miscarriages and two live births, and the one fertile Aunt had eight live births, but also eight miscarriages. I brought this up with every doctor I saw, and also said I had never become pregnant in my earlier straight life, (short though it was!) NOOOOO! they wouldn't do any fertility tests, even though my periods were irregular and there was not much of a temperature change throughout my cycle. I endured many months of insemination and disappointment and EXPENSE.

Finally the third doctor I worked with agreed to do testing. Turned out both fallopian tubes were fully blocked and there was no possible way I could conceive without surgery. The surgery would produce only a 15% chance of conceiving, with a 50% chance of ectopic pregnancy. The low possible success rate, I could face, but not the ectopc pregnancy. To spend years trying to conceive (there is no way I could describe to you how stressful and emotionally painful this was), only to have to terminate the pregnancy in order to save my own life? No I could not face that. So we took some time to recover emotionally, and then we adopted (out of the foster care system.)

Blessings to all of you, and your partners as well.

Smooches,
Keri