Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

[*Anya*]

Things have changed for me, over the years, in my personal experience.

When I was a young lesbian and holding hands with my femme girlfriend, there would always be looks and comments. Sometimes scary ones.

With my long-term ex butch, if I held her hand or her arm; it was much worse. She always was called sir at first, until they saw her bosoms-then, you could almost see the rage cross their faces, as they came to the realization that she was female.

Honestly, I always felt that because I was young and attractive, it particularly pissed off hostile men and teen boys: "what are you doing with her baby, I got something here for you"; as they grabbed their dicks.

What I have really come to grasp, in a very real and concrete way, is that as I age, I do become more invisible to straight (potentially hostile) bio men and that PDA between two older women only rates a passing glance.

My GF has very short salt and pepper hair. More salt than pepper. I clearly no longer look 25 (or 35 or 45 or 55....).

Now, we hold hands frequently (which scared the heck out of me when I was young) and wherever we are, an occasional raised eyebrow is all we get.

When I was younger, I remember reading about how one becomes more invisible to others as aging progresses. I now get to experience that phenomenon, in real life.

All of us have seen older women (and very much older women) holding the arm of another woman and unless one is really butch, we don't think twice about it, do we?

My perspective on the issue.

Oh, I do hate overt PDA's regardless of gender or sexual identities. My first thought is: "Get a room already"!