Some labels do not include trans in the definition

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Jess

Linus, I made an apology to Grant in that thread if you care to read further, explaining my "confusion" as to his gender pronoun preference. Please note that when ever possible and without confusing endings placed on nicknames, etc. I DO try as much as humanly possible to respect a persons choice of pronoun .
Grant refers to himself as trans in his opening statement in that thread had you read it entirely.

I am not trying to be disrespectful. I think for a lot of us, the multitude of preferences in what someone chooses to be called ( especially when it says "boi" here and "boy " there and trans also) is just simply confusing and not altogether an attempt at creating "invisiblity". Not all of us have had the privilege of attending such informative workshops/ support groups and may be less aware than those whom have.

Your post specifically highlighting something I wrote feels like a personal affront and I am very offended and very disappointed that you chose to "read" into it something that wasn't there to volley wanting to start a thread. Perhaps if your own issues weren't already present you would have been able to see the same inconsistencies in how I should have addressed Grant and why it was confusing for me.

Fair enough in Grant using trans in his definition (I did miss it when I read through the thread a few times). And I saw the apology (it took me a while to forge this thread so I think it's a timing thing) you posted after I finished this. I do apologize for not seeing that "trans" in the first post. I can definitely see how that could be confusing.

It's not meant to be an affront but rather a starting point for everyone. It is something that I've seen some men and women go through. I've talked with some who are really upset at being even slightly referenced as trans and I think it is something that is valid to discuss. Even for some trans individuals (myself included) we do this. We get wrapped in the idea that if you are changing the external then you must be trans. And that isn't always a valid way of looking at things.

I appreciate that you weren't trying to be disrespectful. And I recognize that not everyone has been part of the groups I have been, which is why I think it's worthwhile to discuss these things. We had those very discussions in those groups. Do you not think that it would be worthwhile?

And perhaps it is my issue that is at the forefront but I do not believe that it diminishes the importance of having the discussion.

To answer your question for me personally, if someone says they are a man, then they are. If they call themselves "boi" I see them as long ago defined as a female who identifies as a masculine boyish energy. If they call themselves all of the above, then by God, they are all of the above.

What if they don't list it? What if they don't identify specifically? Do you (I mean general you of everyone here at BFP) think "trans" first and then woman/man?