Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

hi Toughy-

for me, the term 'bottoms run the fuck' illicits a 'slap in the face' so to speak to traditional kink values. it to me 'dumb downs' the idea of the power exchange. an oxymoron in phrase and theory. from my own perspective which is not the same perspective you come from. this works well in my relationship.

from my knees i say i can't/don't equate the theories my Ms or her Peers have to the level of humbleness in their hearts. my experience is they shine with great strength and that humbles me.

thanks for your comments......

I've been in and out of the kink community for around 30 years. It has always had a role in my life since I was in my 20's....I will be 58 in a couple of months. Sometimes I am part of the public kink community and sometimes I not, however that does not mean it is not part of my core being....it is.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'traditional kink values'. In my time, kink values have changed considerably. When I came out...........consent meant you walked in the door. There were no safe words. There was no negotiation in the sense we think of it today.

We kink folks have rightfully changed our values over time. We have gone from no rules, to Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC), to Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK).

For Me.......'the bottom runs the fuck' is not a slap in anyone's face. It does not lessen the power dynamic....in My mind it enhances the power dynamic because we started as equals and she then gives Me the gift of her pain and submission.

Thanks for the conversation. It has been interesting.

edited to add: I cannot speak to the gay man Old Guard ways. In my time women were not allowed in that community. I do know that for many years in both the Old Guard and the women's kink community you had to start from the bottom. You earned your leathers by experiencing being on your knees. I know .....I've been there and will still go there when that 'itch' strikes. However I live in the kink world as a Top/Dom 99.5% of the time.