Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > The Femme Zone

The Femme Zone For all things "Femme"

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-18-2010, 06:17 AM   #1
Little_Duck
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
I am simply myself.
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
To state it simply: I have the best girlfriend ever. The End.
 
Little_Duck's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: O-H! I-O!
Posts: 11
Thanks: 10
Thanked 21 Times in 7 Posts
Rep Power: 38
Little_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Hi everyone!!!

I am not much into posting about gender and stuff since I am like still trying to find who I am and I read ALOT of the things people I know have to say and I like Grant( though not into the whole spankie spankie thing ) am alllllllll about bossy girls!!! (hi June!!!!)

I think it's pretty sad and mean to say that you see Grant as female, I mean I even know at 21 that he ain't female, he is a dude, even our brother who is 9 gets it.

I guess thsi is why I just read, but since Grant is part of our family I needed to show props.

Mad props Grant!!!

We all love you for who you are and that is the guy who was there for our sister during surgery, and is there for our Mommy!!!

That is all I really had to say thank you!!!!

Bye June!!!
Little_Duck is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Little_Duck For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 06:23 AM   #2
Jess
Timed Out - Permanent

How Do You Identify?:
decidedly indifferent
Preferred Pronoun?:
other
 
Jess's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Patrick Springs, VA
Posts: 2,812
Thanks: 9,247
Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Jess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST ReputationJess Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little_Duck View Post
Hi everyone!!!

I am not much into posting about gender and stuff since I am like still trying to find who I am and I read ALOT of the things people I know have to say and I like Grant( though not into the whole spankie spankie thing ) am alllllllll about bossy girls!!! (hi June!!!!)

I think it's pretty sad and mean to say that you see Grant as female, I mean I even know at 21 that he ain't female, he is a dude, even our brother who is 9 gets it.

I guess thsi is why I just read, but since Grant is part of our family I needed to show props.

Mad props Grant!!!


We all love you for who you are and that is the guy who was there for our sister during surgery, and is there for our Mommy!!!

That is all I really had to say thank you!!!!

Bye June!!!
An apology for Grant if I made improper use of pronoun/ descriptor. Sometimes I get confused by the interchangeable "boi" referring to females who id as masculine and boy which refers to male. My bad. No offense meant Grant.
Jess is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Jess For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:17 AM   #3
Bit
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme
Relationship Status:
married to Gryph
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 2,177
Thanks: 1,126
Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts
Rep Power: 10778870
Bit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I get tripped up by screen names sometimes, too. *wry smile* The thing is, when you're making a long post (or multi-quoting like I usually do), you can't see the profile info to double-check, so if it's someone you don't know well, there's nothing to go by BUT the screen name.
Bit is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bit For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:24 AM   #4
SuperFemme
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/24/2010
Preferred Pronoun?:
She.
Relationship Status:
Married (one of 18,000)
 
4 Highscores

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atascadero, CA
Posts: 4,933
Thanks: 2,309
Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts
Rep Power: 0
SuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST ReputationSuperFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

A conversation such as this is important to have, and it is dismissive to come up in a conversation and school the author on where it should have been. In fact, the very act of doing so gives credence to the OP by putting hym in the *student* role and yourself in the *teacher* role when you two don't have that kind of familiarity.

I am not leather, and i totally get why this thread is in Gender, Labels, and Identities. It's about WeatherBoi and other subs/bois & D/s being treated as *less than* because of their identities.
SuperFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SuperFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:47 AM   #5
Bit
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme
Relationship Status:
married to Gryph
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 2,177
Thanks: 1,126
Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts
Rep Power: 10778870
Bit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST ReputationBit Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme View Post
....putting hym in the *student* role and yourself in the *teacher* role....
Interesting how differently we sometimes interpret things... I didn't read it that way at all, Adele. I read it as one equal talking to another equal, asking a question about something that was puzzling--and then going on to give opinions about the issues weatherboi raised in his OP. It was the kind of post I would expect Jess to make to me or to anyone, yanno?

Maybe I read it that way because I'm geared that way; I absolutely refuse to see or treat others as anything but my equal unless they have specifically asked me to be Mama for them. To me, it doesn't matter what someone might be, or how deeply they might live in whatever space they choose; if they haven't chosen me personally to Mama them, they are my equal--by the same token, if I haven't chosen them to Daddy me, they are my equal.

I know there's a tradition online of putting a sub/girl/boy/slave's name all lowercase, and if I notice someone uses that convention for themselves, I will try to respect it the same way I respect pronoun choices for Butches--but that's all it is, paying respect to someone's preferred name/pronoun. They're still my equal.
Bit is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Bit For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:52 AM   #6
Apocalipstic
Pink Confection

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am
Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
 
Apocalipstic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
Apocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I think it is a great thread since the subject is about Femme Led relationships, I am confused as to why it would be a problem for it to be in the gender labels section of the forums.

It does seem kind of Toppy to tell people how to word and where to place their threads.

Yes, I know it happens all the time, it happened just last week in the RedZone to Christie, so I get that Jess might think it is ok to do that. But it seems Toppy.

I just wish we could take things as face value and respect that the OP really meant what he asked in a variety of contexts, so the placement is perfect.

There are Femme led relationships not in the Leather Community.
__________________
Apocalipstic is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:55 AM   #7
Apocalipstic
Pink Confection

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am
Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
 
Apocalipstic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
Apocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
(Hi, LittleDuck - Now, take that back about me being bossy!)

I'm also glad this is out in the general forum, because for me, it's all about mutual respect and gaining a better understanding. We are having a lot of conversations here about power/empowerment right now, which I find fascinating!

In the past, I have dated Butch Tops and Transmen, what I found to be the case for me is that without exception, they Topped me in bed, but in all other aspects of our relationship, we were equal or I took the lead. Some people think "Top on the streets, bottom in the sheets" is a derogatory term. I don't think that at all, in fact, I think it very clearly defines who I am. I have also known Butch and Transmen who were like that as well, and they were kind of fun . It's not about "Flipping a Butch". It's about Desire. Even the meanest Butch Top I ever dated wanted to be held and comforted sometimes. I admire people who don't let their ego override their desires. Taking it up the whatever doesn't make you "less than" any more than serving as a table during a gathering does.

People forget that it's the bottom who is taking the lash. Any fool with some practice can manage a single tail, but the real strength comes from being able to take it. Frankly, I don't trust a Top who has never bottomed (Which is different to me than submitting). If you've never taken it, how can you give it? Perhaps that's another thread. But I am referring to people I have known in RL who claim to be Tops and when asked about their experience look at me in abject horror "NO, I could NEVER do that!" as though I had just suggested they suck on some day old underwear. *Spit*.

Great thread, weatherboi - Hang in there.
You rock June.
__________________
Apocalipstic is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 11:33 AM   #8
Sachita
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess
Relationship Status:
Completely in love
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southern Virginia
Posts: 3,225
Thanks: 2,564
Thanked 8,994 Times in 2,247 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855
Sachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST ReputationSachita Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
In the past, I have dated Butch Tops and Transmen, what I found to be the case for me is that without exception, they Topped me in bed, but in all other aspects of our relationship, we were equal or I took the lead. Some people think "Top on the streets, bottom in the sheets" is a derogatory term. I don't think that at all, in fact, I think it very clearly defines who I am. I have also known Butch and Transmen who were like that as well, and they were kind of fun . It's not about "Flipping a Butch". It's about Desire. Even the meanest Butch Top I ever dated wanted to be held and comforted sometimes. I admire people who don't let their ego override their desires. Taking it up the whatever doesn't make you "less than" any more than serving as a table during a gathering does.

.
Well said June! This is sorta me. I found myself attracted to butch/masculine and the BF bedroom dynamic. Enjoy being a lady and made love to, pampered, adored, etc. At the same time in day to day the chances are I will lead the relationship because I'm good at it.

Part of me thinks that the perfect relationship for me is one who is strong and naturally dominant as I am. Maybe a Daddy type because I'm a spoiled little girl. But lately reading these threads, some of the phrases from some of you I get these pangs and my heart pounds when I think about topping. Sometimes Lady Snow will have the most simple sentence and I can "feel" something in me spark up.

90% of the time I am dominant and the subtle undertones of D/s excites me and then 10% of me wants to know I have the option to just let go.
__________________
You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else.
~ Daniel Franzese
Sachita is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Sachita For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 06:40 PM   #9
WingsOnFire
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
Female Ones...
Relationship Status:
Enjoying life but ready to meet someone
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 3,945
Thanks: 12,015
Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855
WingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST ReputationWingsOnFire Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

I love the way this discussion has continued and everyone can deal with issues and not turn it into a bash session. I have really enjoyed that so far about this site. I look forward to further discussions on this subject!

Edited to say... whoopppss... obviously I wasnt aware more discussions were going on..... I look forward to more discussions about what this thread is about.... Femme led relationships... ANY AND ALL Femme led relationships... June & Sachita... great input... thanks! I love reading everything everyone has to offer....
WingsOnFire is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to WingsOnFire For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 08:42 PM   #10
Little_Duck
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
I am simply myself.
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
To state it simply: I have the best girlfriend ever. The End.
 
Little_Duck's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: O-H! I-O!
Posts: 11
Thanks: 10
Thanked 21 Times in 7 Posts
Rep Power: 38
Little_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond reputeLittle_Duck has a reputation beyond repute
Default

You are most welcome!!

Once again thank you for apologizing, thank you all for letting me express my feelings for a member our our family.

Little Duck is all about the bossy girls!!!

Peace out!
Little_Duck is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Little_Duck For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 10:54 PM   #11
Martina
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
***
 
Martina's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ***
Posts: 4,999
Thanks: 13,409
Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
Martina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
It's about Desire. Even the meanest Butch Top I ever dated wanted to be held and comforted sometimes. I admire people who don't let their ego override their desires.
That struck me as odd. i think being comforted and held -- the need to be -- is not really a desire issue. Nor is it a D/s issue. If someone is a human being, they are going to need that at some point.

This also implies that Dominants are not vulnerable to their subs, or that if they are, that that takes them out of Top space. There is no way to be a Dominant and not be vulnerable to the sub. The sub knows the Dominant really well if she or he is going to do her job. i am assuming a longer term relationship.

This rankled. Dominants are human beings. They need what we all do. Some may not allow themselves to be comforted by submissives. They may get that from partners or friends. But the vast majority, i'd say, have had moments where the submissive has provided comfort and support. i think that is not an uncommon form of service and connection between a submissive and a Dominant. It's an intimate connection. Dominants let down their guard. In those moments, they are still Dominant.
Martina is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Martina For This Useful Post:
Old 05-19-2010, 08:41 AM   #12
Random
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Relationship Status:
Married
 
Random's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: back in the land of trees and snow
Posts: 2,072
Thanks: 8,017
Thanked 5,327 Times in 1,378 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
Random Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST ReputationRandom Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Hey Martina,

I don't want to derail the thread too much, so I will keep this brief..

For me this below statement is not true...

When I am in domme space, I am not vulnerable to my sub... There is no way that I can do my job and be emotional vulnerable. I can not give her what she needs/craves if I am not in complete control of my mind and body and emotions. Being that I am a sexual sadist, that would just be plain dangerous.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Martina View Post
This also implies that Dominants are not vulnerable to their subs, or that if they are, that that takes them out of Top space. There is no way to be a Dominant and not be vulnerable to the sub. The sub knows the Dominant really well if she or he is going to do her job. i am assuming a longer term relationship.
__________________
~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"
Random is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Random For This Useful Post:
Old 05-19-2010, 08:47 AM   #13
Martina
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
***
 
Martina's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ***
Posts: 4,999
Thanks: 13,409
Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
Martina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST Reputation
Default

i didn't mean during bdsm play. i meant if you have a D/s relationship. Over time, your sub has to know you if she or he is to serve you well. You have to be KNOWN to them. That is a kind of vulnerability. There are others. But that's the sort of thing i meant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Random View Post
Hey Martina,

I don't want to derail the thread too much, so I will keep this brief..

For me this below statement is not true...

When I am in domme space, I am not vulnerable to my sub... There is no way that I can do my job and be emotional vulnerable. I can not give her what she needs/craves if I am not in complete control of my mind and body and emotions. Being that I am a sexual sadist, that would just be plain dangerous.
Martina is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Martina For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 11:44 PM   #14
Martina
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
***
 
Martina's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ***
Posts: 4,999
Thanks: 13,409
Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
Martina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST ReputationMartina Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
People forget that it's the bottom who is taking the lash. Any fool with some practice can manage a single tail, but the real strength comes from being able to take it.
i am not trying to be picky, but even this is just not true. It's just not. Tops have a lot of expertise, and it takes a lot of personal knowledge and self-control to run a good scene.

Anyway, enough.
Martina is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Martina For This Useful Post:
Old 05-18-2010, 07:09 PM   #15
weatherboi
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Owned boy
Preferred Pronoun?:
Hey boy!!!
Relationship Status:
counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!!
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!!
Posts: 6,097
Thanks: 26,797
Thanked 12,549 Times in 2,993 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858
weatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputationweatherboi Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Little_Duck-
thanks for this...you are an incredible person and i am honored by your support!!!! i love all you guys very much!!!

You da bomb!
Grant


Quote:
Originally Posted by Little_Duck View Post
Hi everyone!!!

I am not much into posting about gender and stuff since I am like still trying to find who I am and I read ALOT of the things people I know have to say and I like Grant( though not into the whole spankie spankie thing ) am alllllllll about bossy girls!!! (hi June!!!!)

i like bossy girls too!!!

I think it's pretty sad and mean to say that you see Grant as female, I mean I even know at 21 that he ain't female, he is a dude, even our brother who is 9 gets it.

I guess thsi is why I just read, but since Grant is part of our family I needed to show props.

Mad props Grant!!!

We all love you for who you are and that is the guy who was there for our sister during surgery, and is there for our Mommy!!!

That is all I really had to say thank you!!!!

Bye June!!!
weatherboi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to weatherboi For This Useful Post:
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:54 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018