The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[christie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I love this post and it so resonates with me.

The only time I get a little weird is when people become violent/angry with me for using my handicap placard when I park.

The placard outs me, but the world doesn't seem to understand invisible disabilities like TBI. Which can be frustrating and I don't know a good answer for that other than to be patient with people who get upset.

I want to let you know that here, you are accepted. Just how you are.

I'm posting without reading the whole thread but I did want to say that as the parent of child with invisible disabilities, this point really hit home with me.

I have lived through the judgements of what appear to be behavioral/lack of discipline issues. From my parent, siblings, other family members and complete strangers. I often thought it would be a much easier road if Bratboy's disability was visible - people seem to have much more compassion and tolerance when it is visible.

For me, in interacting with others (who may or may not have disclosed a disability or neuro-diversity), I always try (and hopefully succeed more than I fail) to not hear their words in *my* tone or in *my* voice. I have spent the last almost 17 years finding ways to explain things to Bratboy or to teach him with different methods or to grasp that very teeny tiny straw of patience/tolerance when I think the reserves are spent.

I do admit when I see post from folks who have disclosed such personal information, I, more often than not, try to apply to their words the same lens I would if I were reading my son's words. I then temper my response (if I make one at all) in a manner that I would want folks to use with Bratboy.

I always try to do this from a place of compassion rather than one of dismissal. I have found that I listen/read/process a differently-able'ds words and probably give them a lot more thought than I do someone who hasn't said they are differentlyabled.

If I see an asswipe post from a person who isn't differently abled, I might think, quickly, "What an asswipe."

The same words from a DA person and I usually pause and wonder, "Where did that come from?" and then go on to backtrack posts to see if I can find the catalyst or disconnect.

Maybe I am wrong in this and the DA person is just being an asswipe. Maybe I should have the same reaction regardless as to ability. *shrugs* Good points to ponder, at least for me.

I really hope that DA's are being heard. Heaven knows if I had dismissed my son's experience in the world, mine would certainly be very rigid, less colorful and with so much less laughter and joy.