Open Letter: Dear Femme

[evolveme]

Kosmo, I see that you decided to post and I need you to know that this confuses me. Be that as it may, I'm going to give you my honest response, while asking you to understand that I recognize your sincerity, your appreciation for Femme, your love for your partner, and your wish that we be seen. I appreciate all of that.

Still, I'm struggling here because it feels wrong to me that a butch person would answer this question - how we can 'change how we are perceived' - and honestly, I just don't feel it's appropriate. I just don't feel it's your place.

Some of your post feels patronizing. I get that this isn't how you intended it to feel. But, that's how it sounds. To me.

I mean, don't tell me what you think I need to do to change how I am perceived. If I'm not being seen, or if I am not being perceived above the din of masculinity, your voice telling me how to go about it is only adding to the problem.

I don't need to know how 'your girl' is clear in her communication in the context of this question, because, you know, so am I. I'm pretty damn clear most of the time and I don't need a masculine or male someone to tell me why that's a good thing or how sexy or pretty it is, because, man, it just is.

Please do not misread me, Kosmo. This is not personal between me, e, and you Kosmo. It just seemed to me that you hadn't read the thread entirely before you posted and that is important to me. The answers to your entire second paragraph can be found here. I don't think they need to be reiterated unless a femme decides for herself that she'd like to discuss them again. What I mean is that, this discussion should not be lead (as they too often tend to be) by a butch or masculine person.

Thank you for not taking me personally. I really, really am trying to talk about the concept of masculine-over. That's partly what this thread is about.

Originally Posted by Kosmo

<snip>

How do you feel you are perceived? Do you feel invisible? Do you feel you take a back seat position to others? Do you feel that your opinion, statements, or thoughts are not considered or taken into account? Do you feel an unbalance in the dynamics of butch-femme or male/masculine-female/feminine engagement, here and in the world around you. It does carry over.

<snipy snip>