OFOS Butches & Femmes

[Firedance]

Originally Posted by Firedance

Opening a door for a Lady
Let me start by clarifying, this has nothing to do with a Gentleman thinking women can’t open their own doors. It came from the role of the Gentleman as a Bodyguard. The [...] role of the Bodyguard, of creating a safe environment for women. This is something that still needs to be maintained and even promoted.

A gentleman will open a door first, making sure that the room is safe for her to enter. As she enters, he is able to scan the surroundings to make sure that the area is safe. As he enters after her, the lady is kept from having her back to the door. You might think this seems somewhat paranoid and overly cautious. Just take a few minutes viewing some of the stories of what the ladies have to deal with in a daily basis, and then tell me I am being overly cautious.

Since this is written from the Gentle-person's perspective; allow me to add my perspective, (as a OFOS Femme).

I am not just a Femme, I am a Lady. Other people don't like that word, and choose not to use it as part of how they identify. That's fine. It so happens that I do use it to identify myself.
It is a word I have come to OWN.

I am a Strong, Fierce, Independent, Capable, Woman of Worth.
And as such, I both deserve and expect my consort to not only take on the role of my Lover, but also, my Bodyguard, my Confidant, my Champion.

If you want the former, the route to my heart, you must be ALL of the latter. If you can't/won't/aren't interested in showing me respect and admiration, that's fine. You simply aren't for me.

If you happen to be interested in a woman who knows her worth, then find out what she values about herself, and find a way to show her that you honor that part of her! And that is a Fine, Fine, start my friends!

Originally Posted by Firedance

Offering a Lady your Jacket
Again, let’s look at women’s fashion when compared to men’s clothing. We typically dress in layers; from the undershirt (optional), the shirt, a vest (optional), and a Jacket. A lady will probably be wearing a lot less. If the weather is somewhat cold, please don’t offer her your jacket. Simply take it off and place it over her shoulders. If you offer, she might probably get self-conscious and refuse, even if she is freezing.

http://beingcaballero.blogspot.com/

LOVE THIS, (Sometimes)!!!

As a matter of fact, I dress WAY more provocatively when I am partnered, or in Queer spaces. (And yes, partially because we all know how catty the drag-queens can get) But mostly because it is pure joy to be seen as FEMME!

My form-fitting, barely-there dresses look at best, awkward, and sometimes down-right terrible with coats or sweaters! And I'm just sayin' y'all might start seeing a lot more Femme-skin if we didn't have to choose between freezing our butts off, or looking hot!

I will sound a note of caution... This is an incredibly intimate gesture. While I would love to have a partner show me this curtesy, without having to ask... A random Butch, or even a close friend doing the same thing would probably get a different reaction. Giving a femme your coat is the same thing as declaring publicly, that, "She is with me". This particular act of kindness may be rebuffed simply because the Femme in question doesn't want to send that message.

Personally I recommend asking first if you have the least question of where you stand... Taking off your coat, holding it out, and then asking, "May I?" would be very well received by this Femme.

Joy on your Journey!

~Fire