Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

[SaltyButch]

Originally Posted by Nattih

My fear is that I will have to completely give up my freedom. This has happened a lot in the past. I am an introvert and I have the need for short solo trips, solo walks, and sometimes just to sit in a coffee shop by myself to think and people watch. I have always been accused of not "really wanting" my significant other or "being afraid of being close" just because I do need time to myself. I have often been in relationships where they just wanted me to completely wrap myself up in their life.

My greatest fear is that it will come down to me having the choice to be alone forever or to be in a relationship and feeling entirely smothered due to my loss of freedom. Both are no-win situations, so I am hoping I can find someone who will understand that my time to myself doesn't impact my strong feelings and desire for my relationship.

Ahh how I can relate to this, I am an introvert, most may have differing opinions and that's okay I know who I am. I have the same need for alone time as I do for together time and I'm a better person and partner when you understand my need for this.

In reading your later post as to the "buttons" I'm pretty sure we all have them and the fact that you have grown to realize what yours are only makes it easier for you to disengage from those who take delight in continually pushing them. I have emotional scars which may not be as readily seen as the physical but they are there and to me in some ways harder to reveal.

All I know is that when I find the right person she will accept me for me...all of me and should she have any physical or emotional scars I will love them because they make her the special gift she is.

[JustLovelyJenn]

Sometimes I feel like I forget what I am afraid of until I am staring it in the face, until I start to self-sabotage, expecting the worst. And then I have to figure out how to explain what is scaring me to someone who isn't doing what I am afraid they might. A lot of damage has left a lot of fears... I am not sure how to figure them all out any more. So, I guess I have to just deal with them as they come up. And I know that speaking them out loud is a good start.

Lately, I am afraid I am too needy (even though I'm pretty sure I am not)

I am afraid I that I am too intense, and my life is too much for people to deal with... so they will burn out and just walk away.

I am afraid that no matter how good I think it is... it won't last... because I am not meant to find someone.

There's a lot more... but right now, this is where I am at.