Pillow Princess

[Angeltoes]

I would never violate anyone. I would leave.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Almost sounds like necrophilla...

I am sure you don't want a lover to be "lying around, not being at all active" for real?

The "lazier and passive-er" the better!?

Edited to add: this is not my understanding of a stone femme or a pillow princess at all. I have been schooled and educated in these forums and have so appreciated the knowledge I have gained.

I don't recall anyone saying before that they did zero activity and just laid down, not to actively participate in whatever way was right for them.

Your understanding is correct.

Originally Posted by AishasWrath

That was not meant as a backhanded compliment at all. I would not do that. I'm sorry it sounded that way.

Edited to add: I meant everything I said, I do think these are attractive qualities! Maybe it's weird to people but I don't see the traits of the negative stereotype as a bad thing. The best experiences I've ever had were with people who layed there and relaxed and didn't get very handsy.

I'm okay with passive, although that's incorrect for me personally. It's the part where you called a whole group 'lazy'. Pillow princesses aren't lazy. That is offensive.

I see you're new here so I'll let you in on something. Blanket statements as a general rule are offensive. so it's best to be as specific about the things you have strong opinions about.

Originally Posted by AishasWrath

*sigh* My turn to be offended now. I'm not afraid of people, I just don't like nonpassive partners. Do I need to through all the justifications and disclaimers again about how I don't like being touched, how it's overwhelming and uncomfortable when others are too active, and give five notarized affidavits of the times I tried to "stop being afraid" and found out it wasn't about fear it was about physical discomfort when I placed myself in such situations?

Going back on topic, there are people out there who are very passive in bed, and there's nothing wrong with them. I'm not the only person who thinks it's beautiful and desirable and ideal to be very languid.

I get where you are coming from. Stones have a hard road sometimes, and you may certainly have come across some women that are fine with being called passive and lazy, but I can venture to say that most of us here aren't okay with it.

No one is saying you can't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy. It's not an issue for me that you don't want anyone too 'handsy' as you said. We all have 'no go' zones on our bodies for a thousand different reasons. Just please try not to generalize a whole group of women; especially when so many princesses have been fighting the very stereotypes that you have played in to and called us.

I didn't jump on the necrophilia train and I think that condition was brought up prematurely in the discussion. I don't want to stomp all over you and your personal boundaries. I do want to make you understand that you just offended a whole division of our community and that is going to piss some people off.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I look very nonthreatening in person. If a butch wanted to be scared of me for no logical reason, then I would probably laugh and scare them on purpose. I would not lay still and sexy time would definitely be over.

You're missing the point. I'm not sure if you are Stone or not, but that could explain why you see things the way you do. AW, while doing it clumsily, was expressing their relief that pillow princesses don't violate their personal boundaries. They just chose a seriously poor way to communicate that appreciation.

Stone butches and femmes have historically had a difficult time with partners, especially if they try to partner with a non-Stone.

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

You're the one who said it feels 'nonthreatening' when a femme is passive and still. That indicates to me that you're scared. And, maybe you should work out what it is you're afraid of but that would be disturbing to me. Not sexy at all.

Anyway, you're new and your name is 'Aisha's revenge' which makes me wonder about your intentions here.

Wrath, not revenge.

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I would never violate anyone. I would leave.

This is certainly healthy and I hope that all of us would be sensitive to violating another's boundaries.

[Angeltoes]

Oops you're right it's wrath not revenge. It still would be offensive to Muslim person. It seems like an unnecessary jab.

No, I'm not stone. I can understand taking it slow because I'm pretty shy myself. But if I can't move around without scaring my partner, then I'd rather not bother trying to have sex.

[storyspinner70]

Wow...I was enjoying the thread then the nonsense earlier and now this...

Why so judgmental? Why is everyone so quick to pounce on one word or phrase and pick pick pick when someone's choice is exactly that...their choice...

I don't care what anyone likes...you like them so lazy they're practically catatonic? That is your choice and what you like and when you find someone that likes it too, y'all will have a great time...

Personally, I'm a pillow princess with a switch follow up... I'm 1000% bottom but I'm not leaving my butch undone...regardless...I think it's cause I'm a Virgo and I've got this unusual sense of justice...coughs...fair is fair...

Luckily, my butch is perfect for me cause, seriously, if she handed me a strap I'd be like...Oh, you need me to hold this for a minute for you?

That's the point, really...find what you like and find someone that likes the same...Get someone that fits and fuck yourselves crazy...

I've got a thing for control, hands and voices, and I've got a daddi with big hands and a voice like river stones dragged over sandpaper and that is what turns my crank the most...

Don't think I don't appreciate a pillow princess myself, though...god knows there's nothing like listening to the whimpering and begging and the cussing and knowing that you caused all of it...Knowing she's gonna be hoarse and fucked out and you're the sole reason she's trying to buck you off the same time she's scrambling to get you and your mouth closer.

Damn...now I got myself itchy...my daddi needs to get the hell back here...her supper can wait! lmao

[BullDog]

I am a stone butch and I always think of my partner as being actively receptive. That is a huge turn on for me. We respect one another's boundaries (which complement one another) and the energy exchange is very hot.

[Angeltoes]

I'm not jumping on anyone. This person said they prefer lazy/passive femmes because they're 'nonthreatening.' I responded by saying that their preference sounds very unsexy *to me*. They stated a preference and I responded with my thoughts. If people don't want their preferences judged, then they probably shouldn't post them in a public forum.

I actually could be totally submissive with the right person, but not with someone who's afraid of me. That just sounds lame in *my opinion.*

[job]

I personally would like to be with a feminine woman who is a little more active. Not that I don't like the women I'm typically with, who seem to just hold on and make all the right noises...or only move around when I ask them to. I like that, too. A lot actually. But, it'd be nice to, every now and then, experience a woman who does use her hands/mouth with a little more "gusto". Show me how much you want it, cause I'm narcissistic like that when it comes to sex. (Being honest here, not cocky.) But, I'm not saying try to top me, cause then we'd just be two naked people rasslin' on a bed and that'd just look silly.

(Disclaimer: no offense to people who participate in naked wrestling matches on beds.)

[Angeltoes]

It's frustrating because I'm a quiet person, so I tend to attract timid people, but I don't like that in a partner. Despite being quiet I have a strong personality and I need to be with someone who is also strong or it's not going to work. I would slowly end up bossing them around and never having sex with them...lol. Then eventually I would sorry be for mistreating them and we'd end up being just friends. All I meant to say was that if someone is scared just because I'm moving around, then it definitely would not work for me.

I was just kidding before about laughing at them. I wouldn't laugh, but it would be awkward, not sexy.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Oops you're right it's wrath not revenge. It still would be offensive to Muslim person. It seems like an unnecessary jab.

No, I'm not stone. I can understand taking it slow because I'm pretty shy myself. But if I can't move around without scaring my partner, then I'd rather not bother trying to have sex.

I didn't even think about a Muslim connection. I know a handful of Aishas (with no Muslim connection), so I originally thought of a jilted lover scenario for the screen name.

It has nothing to do with 'taking things slow'. Being Stone can be similar to knowing a secret language that most don't. If you're not Stone, it's likely that you don't 'hear' what's being said.

A lot....not all but a lot....of Stone butches don't like to be touched in certain ways and areas, especially in the chest and genital region. A lot.....not all but a lot....of lesbians and femmes that are not Stone or a pillow princess expect a 'you do me, I do you' kind of mirroring game that involves touching in the chest and genital region. (Most) Stones don't play that game, although some might play a variation of it.

What you are hearing is not what's being said. What's being said is not what you're hearing.

Originally Posted by job

(Disclaimer: no offense to people who participate in naked wrestling matches on beds.)

This cracked me up.