How about butch and butch?

ClintB · 04-09-2017, 03:30 PM

Yikes, there is a lot of mud slinging going on here.

Look, a good portion of the human population are shitbags. Femme shitbags, butch shitbags, trans shitbags, cis shits bags, straight shitbags.... and it isn't your fault I feel you run into one. It IS your fault is your start generalizing from the few bad ones to the whole group.

And if it's happening consistently... I really question whose fault it is. If you don't want to be a doormat, DONT BE A DOORMAT. No, I'm serious, it actually is that simple. Plus I hate to say it, but a lot of people get off on being the victim. They seek out a certain position in life just to complain about it.

JDeere · 04-10-2017, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClintB

Yikes, there is a lot of mud slinging going on here.

Look, a good portion of the human population are shitbags. Femme shitbags, butch shitbags, trans shitbags, cis shits bags, straight shitbags.... and it isn't your fault I feel you run into one. It IS your fault is your start generalizing from the few bad ones to the whole group.

And if it's happening consistently... I really question whose fault it is. If you don't want to be a doormat, DONT BE A DOORMAT. No, I'm serious, it actually is that simple. Plus I hate to say it, but a lot of people get off on being the victim. They seek out a certain position in life just to complain about it.

No mud slinging at all, just opinions lol

I see the doormat, victim all the time from folks.

Kätzchen · 05-06-2017, 06:12 PM

Years ago, while I was earning my Bachelor's of Science degrees, I became good friends with a butch lesbian, who had just moved to Ashland from Las Vegas, where she spent many years as a sex worker. We're still very close friends to this day. We sometimes attended the same core classes, and we gravitated toward being study partners because in lots of our classes, She and I were known to take on really hard dialogues in group discussions, bantering back and forth, etc.

Anyhow, She eventually found herself in a relationship with another butch lesbian, and they were so incredibly right for each other. Cutest couple anyone ever did see.

Her partner died a couple years ago (though), but we still keep in touch. And I am glad for that because She was my best butch friend, ever. Anyhooo, all this to say that it shouldn't matter who a person is in an relationship with or how either individual identifies.

What matters, I think, especially in my best butch friends' case, was that both of them enjoyed each other immensely and it didn't matter to either one of them that they sort of shared an similar identity in being Butch. And any of us who knew each other were happy for them because it's kind of uncommonly rare when you find yourself well suited with the person you fall in love with and in an committed relationship with each other.

I thought they were absolutely adorable....and I counted myself very lucky to have been an chosen close friend.

ClintB · 05-07-2017, 11:05 PM

I've been in both dynamics. I used to think I preferred butches only... it took a while for femmes to turn my head. Usually, I am the "softer" of the two. I think other butches are amazing and unique. If they weren't butch they were usually gender queer. I think I was really attracted to the queer aesthetic.

Femmes... it's so strange because I'm not really one who is that attracted to conventional beauty. So while I do see their attractiveness it doesn't really impact me the same. But recently I've gone crazy for them, and I'll tell you why. They really are like goddesses... damn if it isn't hot to watch them crush the world beneath their feet. The bitchier the better (using that in the best sense possible)... I love seeing a strong woman own some ignorant asshole. Their presence and strength is inspiring. I feel like I relax for once, because they got this shit.

But they make me hella nervous. Another butch I can just be frank. I'm all shy and twitchy around femmes

ClintB · 05-07-2017, 11:37 PM

So I realized my post was problematic... I basically fed into a believe that queer people look a certain way and that femmes don't look not queer. Rather than delete it I'm gunna own up and leave it... I guess we all drink the koolaid from time to time.

It makes me think, I think I held a lot of femme stereotypes. I felt insecure because they look like girls I've spent my life being grouped with and feeling so apart from. I could bet hack the girl thing and I think for that reason I felt, maybe even still feel, uncomfortable. I also have the, "they are pretty, I am ugly" insecurities. Slowly I started dating them, I still feel different, but I'm learning they can find me desirable and that without the society BS the differences are enjoyable and not threatening.

DapperButch · 05-08-2017, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClintB

I've been in both dynamics. I used to think I preferred butches only... it took a while for femmes to turn my head. Usually, I am the "softer" of the two. I think other butches are amazing and unique. If they weren't butch they were usually gender queer. I think I was really attracted to the queer aesthetic.

Femmes... it's so strange because I'm not really one who is that attracted to conventional beauty. So while I do see their attractiveness it doesn't really impact me the same. But recently I've gone crazy for them, and I'll tell you why. They really are like goddesses... damn if it isn't hot to watch them crush the world beneath their feet. The bitchier the better (using that in the best sense possible)... I love seeing a strong woman own some ignorant asshole. Their presence and strength is inspiring. I feel like I relax for once, because they got this shit.

But they make me hella nervous. Another butch I can just be frank. I'm all shy and twitchy around femmes

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClintB

So I realized my post was problematic... I basically fed into a believe that queer people look a certain way and that femmes don't look not queer. Rather than delete it I'm gunna own up and leave it... I guess we all drink the koolaid from time to time.

It makes me think, I think I held a lot of femme stereotypes. I felt insecure because they look like girls I've spent my life being grouped with and feeling so apart from. I could bet hack the girl thing and I think for that reason I felt, maybe even still feel, uncomfortable. I also have the, "they are pretty, I am ugly" insecurities. Slowly I started dating them, I still feel different, but I'm learning they can find me desirable and that without the society BS the differences are enjoyable and not threatening.

I think your post was fine.

It seems to me like you are figuring out you are attracted to strong, assertive femmes (and may also match well with a femme who tends to be the more dominant one in the relationship). It seems like you have opened yourself up to seeing that the "power" in a person can come from a feminine place, not just a masculine place as we have been taught. Femme energy is extremely powerful in its own right, and when you match that with a assertive woman you will see the "hot" fireworks come out when they need to "handle shit". It is definitely different when you see it in a femme, rather than just a feminine woman. That is what you are being drawn to. Goddesses, indeed...

*Anya* · 05-08-2017, 07:44 AM

This is a hard world that we live in.

If we are lucky enough to find love anywhere; I think that we should take it.

No one gets to walk in our shoes but ourselves.

Tuff Stuff · 12-30-2017, 03:47 AM

A few weeks ago a butch lesbian flirted with me..I felt nothing.She had short hair and no makeup and was wearing a flannel shirt,blue jeans and dr martens..basically what I wear sometimes.She had a deep voice(probably from smoking) and really beautiful deep blue eyes.Still it did nothing for me.She works at a local gas station and is always trying to give me free jo jo potatoes with my chicken order.

Now if she were a lipstick lesbian,i'd be at her mercy.

Dr_Finn · 03-25-2018, 08:07 AM

Butch/butch is amazing! I am married to a butch lesbian, and increasingly ID as butch myself after feeling tomboyish but experimenting with more femme attire and hair at various times in my adulthood. I find that experimenting with butch gender expression has made things feel hotter than ever between my wife and I. The friction of female masculinities has given us new energy and deeper connection.

05-06-2017, 06:12 PM	#3
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: As a feminine woman (Femme) Relationship Status: Unavailable (devoted to my granddaughter, family & friends). Join Date: May 2010 Location: By aging volcanoes & smoke signals in the sky. ツ Posts: 16,171 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,505 Thanked 33,587 Times in 10,691 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Years ago, while I was earning my Bachelor's of Science degrees, I became good friends with a butch lesbian, who had just moved to Ashland from Las Vegas, where she spent many years as a sex worker. We're still very close friends to this day. We sometimes attended the same core classes, and we gravitated toward being study partners because in lots of our classes, She and I were known to take on really hard dialogues in group discussions, bantering back and forth, etc. Anyhow, She eventually found herself in a relationship with another butch lesbian, and they were so incredibly right for each other. Cutest couple anyone ever did see. Her partner died a couple years ago (though), but we still keep in touch. And I am glad for that because She was my best butch friend, ever. Anyhooo, all this to say that it shouldn't matter who a person is in an relationship with or how either individual identifies. What matters, I think, especially in my best butch friends' case, was that both of them enjoyed each other immensely and it didn't matter to either one of them that they sort of shared an similar identity in being Butch. And any of us who knew each other were happy for them because it's kind of uncommonly rare when you find yourself well suited with the person you fall in love with and in an committed relationship with each other. I thought they were absolutely adorable....and I counted myself very lucky to have been an chosen close friend. __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” — Jillian Turecki. “The smartest people are clearly the best listeners,” — Audible. I’m doing my part, as an American citizen, who is concerned about losing our Democracy: I boycott agencies and businesses and service providers who do not support the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Support Democracy: Vote Blue

05-08-2017, 07:44 AM	#7
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,449 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	This is a hard world that we live in. If we are lucky enough to find love anywhere; I think that we should take it. No one gets to walk in our shoes but ourselves. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

04-09-2017, 03:30 PM	#1
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	Yikes, there is a lot of mud slinging going on here. Look, a good portion of the human population are shitbags. Femme shitbags, butch shitbags, trans shitbags, cis shits bags, straight shitbags.... and it isn't your fault I feel you run into one. It IS your fault is your start generalizing from the few bad ones to the whole group. And if it's happening consistently... I really question whose fault it is. If you don't want to be a doormat, DONT BE A DOORMAT. No, I'm serious, it actually is that simple. Plus I hate to say it, but a lot of people get off on being the victim. They seek out a certain position in life just to complain about it.

05-07-2017, 11:05 PM	#4
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	I've been in both dynamics. I used to think I preferred butches only... it took a while for femmes to turn my head. Usually, I am the "softer" of the two. I think other butches are amazing and unique. If they weren't butch they were usually gender queer. I think I was really attracted to the queer aesthetic. Femmes... it's so strange because I'm not really one who is that attracted to conventional beauty. So while I do see their attractiveness it doesn't really impact me the same. But recently I've gone crazy for them, and I'll tell you why. They really are like goddesses... damn if it isn't hot to watch them crush the world beneath their feet. The bitchier the better (using that in the best sense possible)... I love seeing a strong woman own some ignorant asshole. Their presence and strength is inspiring. I feel like I relax for once, because they got this shit. But they make me hella nervous. Another butch I can just be frank. I'm all shy and twitchy around femmes

05-07-2017, 11:37 PM	#5
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	So I realized my post was problematic... I basically fed into a believe that queer people look a certain way and that femmes don't look not queer. Rather than delete it I'm gunna own up and leave it... I guess we all drink the koolaid from time to time. It makes me think, I think I held a lot of femme stereotypes. I felt insecure because they look like girls I've spent my life being grouped with and feeling so apart from. I could bet hack the girl thing and I think for that reason I felt, maybe even still feel, uncomfortable. I also have the, "they are pretty, I am ugly" insecurities. Slowly I started dating them, I still feel different, but I'm learning they can find me desirable and that without the society BS the differences are enjoyable and not threatening.

12-30-2017, 03:47 AM	#8
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	A few weeks ago a butch lesbian flirted with me..I felt nothing.She had short hair and no makeup and was wearing a flannel shirt,blue jeans and dr martens..basically what I wear sometimes.She had a deep voice(probably from smoking) and really beautiful deep blue eyes.Still it did nothing for me.She works at a local gas station and is always trying to give me free jo jo potatoes with my chicken order. Now if she were a lipstick lesbian,i'd be at her mercy.

03-25-2018, 08:07 AM	#9
Dr_Finn Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Nerdy Butch Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her/Hers Relationship Status: Gay Married Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: USA Posts: 5 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5 Thanked 30 Times in 5 Posts Rep Power: 0	Butch/butch is amazing! I am married to a butch lesbian, and increasingly ID as butch myself after feeling tomboyish but experimenting with more femme attire and hair at various times in my adulthood. I find that experimenting with butch gender expression has made things feel hotter than ever between my wife and I. The friction of female masculinities has given us new energy and deeper connection.