Living Apart, Together (LAT) A Support Thread

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

I definitely like having my own home, my own place. I don't ever foresee giving up my own residence. It's my quiet place where I can retreat from life and take care of me, in ways that add toward feeling good. Especially so, for me, because even though my children are young adults, I want to keep my family life separate from my romantic life. I just feel better when I've got my own place. I'm definitely the type of person who likes living alone, yet apart when dating or in an relationship (together) .

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i totally relate and do this too! i LOVE my family but i don't want them in my personal relationships. And they can get their own friends!

I'm really glad you bumped this thread, dee, because last spring is when I made my original post (April?).

And I still think that it's a good idea to keep ones romantic life private and separate from family life and even in our circle of fronds or in general. And I also think it's feasible to maintain one's independence in relationship to others.

But....homoe's post showed me a few things about myself that I couldn't see last spring. I too am very particular and probably do well on my own, but I don't think that living on my own, separate from the one I want to share life with, is a going to be a situation that will work for me. So, my thinking was a bit flawed, last spring. I am glad that homoe stated her ideas like she did or I would have never seen the flaw in my thinking.

I don't think living apart/together will be what I want at all. I definitely want to create a life together with the one I want to spend my life and time with.....

[homoe]

I had friends back in Milwaukee and they had an extremely creative way of living together apart I must admit!

One owned a HUGE Victorian Style home. When they refurbished it, they used many of the nooks and crannies of the home to incorporate a separate living space, complete with kitchen and bathroom, for the other.


They have been together well over 25 years so it works for them

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by homoe

I had friends back in Milwaukee and they had an extremely creative way of living together apart I must admit!

One owned a HUGE Victorian Style home. When they refurbished it, they used many of the nooks and crannies of the home to incorporate a separate living space, complete with kitchen and bathroom, for the other.


They have been together well over 25 years so it works for them

I had dear friends, an lesbian couple, who created a living arrangement similar to that of living in a very large turn-of-the-century Victorian home, put on the coast. They each had their own bedrooms on different floors, their own bathroom spaces, and of course, various rooms of their own through out the house (the TV room, the craft and sewing room, a shared reading room) and on the main floor of the house was the kitchen and a huge livingroom, shared by both of them.

I miss them...they've both passed on, several years ago, and withing months of each other. They were inseparable, yet separate and individual as an couple who were together for over 45 years.

[Lyte]

What an interesting topic! I'd never heard of LAT. I think I dig the idea! Off to read some more...

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

I had dear friends, an lesbian couple, who created a living arrangement similar to that of living in a very large turn-of-the-century Victorian home, put on the coast. They each had their own bedrooms on different floors, their own bathroom spaces, and of course, various rooms of their own through out the house (the TV room, the craft and sewing room, a shared reading room) and on the main floor of the house was the kitchen and a huge livingroom, shared by both of them.

I miss them...they've both passed on, several years ago, and withing months of each other. They were inseparable, yet separate and individual as an couple who were together for over 45 years.

this reminds me of a poly household and i absolutely love the idea.

[girl_dee]

where i lived once, there was a middle aged couple that lived down the lane that lived down the street. They would walk daily walks together, hand in hand every evening. Then she would go to her house, and him to his. They lived about a block apart.

i will admit that although i like my dee time, i would want my love cuddling me at night if they were that close!

[Femmewench]

I don't need to live separate or probably even have my own room. What I do need is "alone time." I've lived alone far longer than with a partner. Sometimes I want to just know I'm alone in my home for a period of time. I'm too practical to justify spending money for a separate alone space off premises.

On those rare occasions when I'd call in sick for a mental health day it made me crazy that my retired spouse was home. I stopped doing it fairly soon after she retired. The effect was totally different with someone home with me.

[AmazonDC]

I think it is important to have ALONE TIME away from your spouse.. weather it's a day spent fishing or doing crafts or just relaxing at home there needs and should be time alone to reflect on yourself and just have you time..