Caregivers and Stress

[Chad]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Gosh that’s insane. i think they milk our elderly for everything they can get when they can.

Each time my mom goes to the ER (used to be a regular thing, since i have moved away not once) they had her taking every senseless test you can imagine. Of course this all put more fear in her mind.

Seriously Dee, this is ridiculous! I agree with you that this is some kind of sick joke to milk the elderly out of money. That Psychiatrist will wish that she never met me. I am a bear when it comes to protecting my family.

I am sorry that your mom suffered.

[JustLovelyJenn]

I have a lot to unload... its been months... since my life has been stable enough to even come here and talk to you all and so much has happened.

SO... I guess we will start with today, how things are right now.

My son is going to be admitted to a long term inpatient psychiatric facility in the next few weeks. We are on a waiting list. They told us when there is an opening we will have about a weeks notice. The program he is going to will have him out of my house for up to a year.

Its been a really long road to get here, and my whole life has been turned upside down in the process. My son went to juvie twice for attacking me, we had to apply, and appeal and fight for this placement, and while we did that... I had to find a way to keep my daughter safe and out of the local youth shelter where she had been staying every time my son became to aggressive. During his last stay at juvie, the judge told us he did not want to release my son if he would be going back to live with me and my daughter who he kept attacking.

SO... I asked my parents (who are retired and have been living in their motor home for a couple years now) to move into my house with my son and I rented a second home to take my daughter to. Now I am trying to manage my sons needs with my mother, from a second location. I am paying twice the rent, twice the utilities, and when he finally goes into this program... I will loose his SSI income to help maintain those payments.

I am still fighting and advocating for him and my family, and while he is away I will be spending more money and time to visit him and work with the team there to help him hopefully return home and be more successful.

His more aggressive attacks as of recently have left me with some pretty severe ptsd symptoms and I am finally seeking a therapist for myself.

Its so much, and I know I haven't really processed any of it yet. I know I need to start fitting in more self care to keep it up.

[Kelt]

I haven't seen my mother at Christmas for probably 20 or more years, we don't actually celebrate it. This year she is in the unfamiliar environment of the group home where is she staying for her rehab treatments and I decided to go be with her for it. This last couple of months I've spent just about 50 percent of my time in her state and I've been lucky with the weather since there are several mountain passes between us.

This year I am doing the "over the hills and through the woods to grandmothers house we go" (if she had grandkids). Of course all four passes are predicting snow today so it should be a lovely 9 or 10 Hour Drive crammed into maybe eight hours of daylight.

The good news is, that she is healing well and at least physically I believe over the hump. I hope to take her on a field trip while I'm there to her apartment so that she can see what it looks like and remember it so we can start the decision-making process for where she wants to live next starting in a month or so.

I had hoped that this weekend we would be able to make a joint call to my uncle, my father's brother, her last relative besides me that we know of. Four days ago he died but since she has already forgotten it by now I don't think it will bother her.

I keep telling her she has become the ultimate Buddha. No past, no future. Only the present. There are times when I envy her.

[Chad]

We are getting an exray of mom's knee because she fell in New Orleans yesterday. We came back early and will try to see her orthopedic doctor. Both of her knees are fake but she has a lot of swelling.

I appreciate the suggestions from friends here.

I hope for the best.

[girl_dee]

my mom is sick again, over Christmas. Seems to be a yearly thing, when i look back i only remember her being sick at Christmas and missing out.

i wonder if she does bring it on, her stomach issues. Whatever the cause, she’s really sick and i feel a million miles away. For my own sanity, i need to be a million miles away, but there are times i want to be there.

[Kelt]

I thought that watching my father starve to death for 2 months in a nursing home 2.5 years ago was tough, and we didn't even like each other.


Watching my mother deteriorate with dementia (unknown timeline) is worse.


The elderly are nothing but prey in this country.


Don't even know where to go with that...

[Chad]

Originally Posted by Kelt

I thought that watching my father starve to death for 2 months in a nursing home 2.5 years ago was tough, and we didn't even like each other.


Watching my mother deteriorate with dementia (unknown timeline) is worse.


The elderly are nothing but prey in this country.


Don't even know where to go with that...

I am so sorry for your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts .

[Chad]

Originally Posted by Chad

We are getting an exray of mom's knee because she fell in New Orleans yesterday. We came back early and will try to see her orthopedic doctor. Both of her knees are fake but she has a lot of swelling.

I appreciate the suggestions from friends here.

I hope for the best.

Update:

Mom's exray was good, no broken bones.
She has her leg up and iced for the swelling.

I am relieved.

[Chad]

Originally Posted by Chad

Update:

Mom's exray was good, no broken bones.
She has her leg up and iced for the swelling.

I am relieved.

X-ray not exray. Haha!

[~ocean]

Originally Posted by Chad

X-ray not exray. Haha!

snigglet EXRAY a way you can now see into prospective lovers to BEWARE of lololol ** hello Webster's **