Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own.

[MsMerrick]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I am very aware that a word like "Shim" that may be hurtful to me might not be hurtful to joe schmoe.

What to do when I hit the brick wall of a person who really doesn't care that it's hurtful? I mean there is no rule that it is anyone's responsibility to give a rats ass that a word may cause pain to others.

Am I naive in my hope that others will care?

I hope you aren't, I know I hope the same thing..!
I do limit my attempts to educate, to those that use words with.. carelessness, not .. with clear nasty intent.
I agree, its very painful, that so many don't care... I wish I had a penny, even in this economy, for every time someone has told me I am too "PC", because I try and explain that how we use..words has power..and that I am offended by someones use of a word..

[betenoire]

I've actually only heard the words "shim" or "s-he" used in one place (maybe I'm super sheltered?). It was here:



And I really do still feel that the Lunachicks meant no harm. In the context of that song it was about breaking out of gender norms. And they meant it in a good way.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by MsMerrick

I hope you aren't, I know I hope the same thing..!
I do limit my attempts to educate, to those that use words with.. carelessness, not .. with clear nasty intent.
I agree, its very painful, that so many don't care... I wish I had a penny, even in this economy, for every time someone has told me I am too "PC", because I try and explain that how we use..words has power..and that I am offended by someones use of a word..

Thanks.

Is there really such a think as being too considerate or too "PC"?
I hope not. Thanks for understanding.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by JakeTulane

I would like to know other's thoughts on the usage of the word Faggot. I have had it used on Me, and not in a good way. Quite frankly, I have never heard it used in a good way. So, I would have to say to Me it is a word to hurt our own. IMHO.

I dunno, all of the letters to Dan Savage in his column used to stay with "Hey, Faggot" (I don't think they do any more) and I call my best guy friend Faggot all the time.

I think if I were a heterosexual and I was calling my friend Faggot it would be -vastly- different than how it is intended/received coming from my place of Queer-ness.

So again, back to context. Right? The person who called you a Faggot meant it in a hurtful way, I get that. But not every instance where the term Faggot is used is inherently hurtful.

[JakeTulane]

Thank you bete. I agree, it is about context. Oddly, it was said to Me by another queer.. so I was a bit shocked. (hence My mentioning about it being used to hurt our own). I also agree with what you said about "instances" when it is used.

Originally Posted by betenoire

I dunno, all of the letters to Dan Savage in his column used to stay with "Hey, Faggot" (I don't think they do any more) and I call my best guy friend Faggot all the time.

I think if I were a heterosexual and I was calling my friend Faggot it would be -vastly- different than how it is intended/received coming from my place of Queer-ness.

So again, back to context. Right? The person who called you a Faggot meant it in a hurtful way, I get that. But not every instance where the term Faggot is used is inherently hurtful.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I dunno, all of the letters to Dan Savage in his column used to stay with "Hey, Faggot" (I don't think they do any more) and I call my best guy friend Faggot all the time.

I think if I were a heterosexual and I was calling my friend Faggot it would be -vastly- different than how it is intended/received coming from my place of Queer-ness.

So again, back to context. Right? The person who called you a Faggot meant it in a hurtful way, I get that. But not every instance where the term Faggot is used is inherently hurtful.

I often refer to myself as a Femme Fag Fatale because of what I like to do to my Beloved. It is me being subversive. So yeah, context. I won't use that language just anywhere.

I know that a lot of people hear the word "faggot" right before a baseball bat hits their head or a fist lands upside their head. I don't want to be the PTSD in anyones day so I try to be really aware. Thanks Jake Tulane for bringing it up.

[waxnrope]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I dunno, all of the letters to Dan Savage in his column used to stay with "Hey, Faggot" (I don't think they do any more) and I call my best guy friend Faggot all the time.

I think if I were a heterosexual and I was calling my friend Faggot it would be -vastly- different than how it is intended/received coming from my place of Queer-ness.

So again, back to context. Right? The person who called you a Faggot meant it in a hurtful way, I get that. But not every instance where the term Faggot is used is inherently hurtful.

thanks for this comment. it so contrasts with my experiences, so yes, context, and I might add, community/ies, may define one's use and understanding of words.

thanks again