school experiences for trans folks

Jesse · 06-24-2010, 10:11 PM

Wishing I could be of assistance here but I was raised in the early 60's and one didn't talk about this sort of thing out loud to any adult where I was raised, back then for fear of being locked away in some rubber room. I tried telling my mom when I was around seven...it was not a pleasant experience to live through.

I do agree that both your daughter and the school need to make sure they are careful in their approach of this situation. Mixing up the lines is a quick solve to that situation and would also allow that child to not stick out like a sore thumb for harassment from the boys. I am also extremely concerned about that child having to use the boys restroom. Little boys do some mean things to other kids in the restroom, especially to those who don't quite fit in. Some schools will offer a separate bathroom for that child to use.

Also as much as I tend to agree that the parents likely already know if this child is this outspoken about their gender, I do feel your daughter may be jeopardizing her position if the parents preferences are not adhered to.

Soft*Silver · 06-24-2010, 10:33 PM

even before this became an issue, she was allowing one child at a time to go into the bathroom. Thats why they stood in line in the hallway....

[QUOTE=Tranzman;138110]
I am also extremely concerned about that child having to use the boys restroom. Little boys do some mean things to other kids in the restroom, especially to those who don't quite fit in. QUOTE]

Jesse · 06-24-2010, 10:38 PM

Thank you for pointing that out to me...my bad...it's late.

[quote=softness;138123]even before this became an issue, she was allowing one child at a time to go into the bathroom. Thats why they stood in line in the hallway....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tranzman

I am also extremely concerned about that child having to use the boys restroom. Little boys do some mean things to other kids in the restroom, especially to those who don't quite fit in. QUOTE]

Soft*Silver · 06-24-2010, 10:58 PM

what a wonderful set of responses I am getting! This is exactly the kind of stuff that will help her become a good teacher!

First, I am the one who changed pronouns in my post. She does not change pronouns in the classroom. I did so out of courtesy for our own trans community here...

I am not so much worried about how Randy is going to handle not getting the same positive regard in other classes. He is, after all, in 2 or 3 grade. He has had public education before. And he has certainly encountered the phobia of our culture somehow, in someway, at sometime in his life. I agree with Dylan,that one teacher being cool is better than no teacher being cool. But she must be cool and professional!

Someone asked what other things my daughter does re gender in the classroom. She doesnt assign tasks based on gender. Girls dont always clean up and boys dont always do physical stuff. When teams are needed, she includes all genders in each team. She does not allow the word Gay to be used as a slang term. (Especially at that age!) I know it means something very different now, but its still a crudely masked hate term. And yes, a child said it in her class and that lecture was given. There are no girl areas and boy areas..like the pegs that hold their coats and the bins that hold their lunches and show and tell items.

one more thing about my child. When she was in preschool there, they went for a walk one day. The teacher said they were going to go visit father's house. My daughter came home and told me the teacher tried to take her to visit her father (who had abandoned her right after our divorce) but he wasnt home. But they were going to try tomorrow. I was confused...and when I dropped her off the next day I asked the teacher about it. I remember her looking at me like I had said babjfiahsnalal....and then she remembered what this was about...

see, this school sits on a church's property. It use to be their old Sunday School classrooms. The teacher was taking them to see the priest at his house that also sat on the property.

This taught my child (and me) a valuable lesson. Sometimes the most innocent situations can cause major problems.

She isnt trying to be a hero to this kid. She just wants him to feel comfortable in her classroom. Her most significant action has been to just talk to him, one on one, and see what he is thinking and explain to him that she has to do things to accomodate everyone. But she is aware of and acknowledges who "she" is.

I have this story to tell about different classrooms

when she was little, she stayed at my mother's alot. And at my sister's sometimes. And eventually with her father and his new wife after he came back into her life. I had rules...my parents broke all those rules. I broke some of my exes rules. He broke some of mine...it was chaos for a very short time because we all wised up about how crazy we were making her and I had a little talk with her. I said, "different rules for different houses" In other words, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

When she was with me, she lived under my rules, with her dad, his rules, and with my family, their rules. I kinda think kids think like this in general...but we adults had to sit down and figure it all out...

06-24-2010, 10:11 PM	#1
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,783 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Wishing I could be of assistance here but I was raised in the early 60's and one didn't talk about this sort of thing out loud to any adult where I was raised, back then for fear of being locked away in some rubber room. I tried telling my mom when I was around seven...it was not a pleasant experience to live through. I do agree that both your daughter and the school need to make sure they are careful in their approach of this situation. Mixing up the lines is a quick solve to that situation and would also allow that child to not stick out like a sore thumb for harassment from the boys. I am also extremely concerned about that child having to use the boys restroom. Little boys do some mean things to other kids in the restroom, especially to those who don't quite fit in. Some schools will offer a separate bathroom for that child to use. Also as much as I tend to agree that the parents likely already know if this child is this outspoken about their gender, I do feel your daughter may be jeopardizing her position if the parents preferences are not adhered to. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

06-24-2010, 10:33 PM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	even before this became an issue, she was allowing one child at a time to go into the bathroom. Thats why they stood in line in the hallway.... [QUOTE=Tranzman;138110] I am also extremely concerned about that child having to use the boys restroom. Little boys do some mean things to other kids in the restroom, especially to those who don't quite fit in. QUOTE] __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

06-24-2010, 10:58 PM	#4
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	what a wonderful set of responses I am getting! This is exactly the kind of stuff that will help her become a good teacher! First, I am the one who changed pronouns in my post. She does not change pronouns in the classroom. I did so out of courtesy for our own trans community here... I am not so much worried about how Randy is going to handle not getting the same positive regard in other classes. He is, after all, in 2 or 3 grade. He has had public education before. And he has certainly encountered the phobia of our culture somehow, in someway, at sometime in his life. I agree with Dylan,that one teacher being cool is better than no teacher being cool. But she must be cool and professional! Someone asked what other things my daughter does re gender in the classroom. She doesnt assign tasks based on gender. Girls dont always clean up and boys dont always do physical stuff. When teams are needed, she includes all genders in each team. She does not allow the word Gay to be used as a slang term. (Especially at that age!) I know it means something very different now, but its still a crudely masked hate term. And yes, a child said it in her class and that lecture was given. There are no girl areas and boy areas..like the pegs that hold their coats and the bins that hold their lunches and show and tell items. one more thing about my child. When she was in preschool there, they went for a walk one day. The teacher said they were going to go visit father's house. My daughter came home and told me the teacher tried to take her to visit her father (who had abandoned her right after our divorce) but he wasnt home. But they were going to try tomorrow. I was confused...and when I dropped her off the next day I asked the teacher about it. I remember her looking at me like I had said babjfiahsnalal....and then she remembered what this was about... see, this school sits on a church's property. It use to be their old Sunday School classrooms. The teacher was taking them to see the priest at his house that also sat on the property. This taught my child (and me) a valuable lesson. Sometimes the most innocent situations can cause major problems. She isnt trying to be a hero to this kid. She just wants him to feel comfortable in her classroom. Her most significant action has been to just talk to him, one on one, and see what he is thinking and explain to him that she has to do things to accomodate everyone. But she is aware of and acknowledges who "she" is. I have this story to tell about different classrooms when she was little, she stayed at my mother's alot. And at my sister's sometimes. And eventually with her father and his new wife after he came back into her life. I had rules...my parents broke all those rules. I broke some of my exes rules. He broke some of mine...it was chaos for a very short time because we all wised up about how crazy we were making her and I had a little talk with her. I said, "different rules for different houses" In other words, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. When she was with me, she lived under my rules, with her dad, his rules, and with my family, their rules. I kinda think kids think like this in general...but we adults had to sit down and figure it all out... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears