school experiences for trans folks

Gayla · 06-24-2010, 10:27 PM

I understand the legal stuff, I really do. Married to a teacher for a long time, etc. etc. so I totally get it.

I read that the child has a gender neutral name so I don't think the teacher has "changed" the child's name. I'm not sure if the teacher has changed pronouns or if the OP did that simple out of respect.

I think there are ways to be inclusive in a classroom environment without the risks. Yes, there are guidelines, but there is also quite a bit of freedom within each classroom. Things like mixing up the lines not on gender, etc. Just the fact that the teacher is at all aware gender issues like this even exist is going to give this student, and all of them really, an advantage.

And maybe, when any of these children get to the next grade level and with a new teacher they may say, "Ms. X didn't make us line up as boys and girls, we just got to line up as people."

I also have to say that I think the level of fear that we experience over doing something "wrong" often keeps very simple things from changing for the good. I would really hate to see her stop doing things that empower all the children in her classroom out of fear that how she interacts with one child may get her in "trouble".

Soon · 06-24-2010, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayla

I understand the legal stuff, I really do. Married to a teacher for a long time, etc. etc. so I totally get it.

I read that the child has a gender neutral name so I don't think the teacher has "changed" the child's name. I'm not sure if the teacher has changed pronouns or if the OP did that simple out of respect.

I think there are ways to be inclusive in a classroom environment without the risks. Yes, there are guidelines, but there is also quite a bit of freedom within each classroom. Things like mixing up the lines not on gender, etc. Just the fact that the teacher is at all aware gender issues like this even exist is going to give this student, and all of them really, an advantage.

And maybe, when any of these children get to the next grade level and with a new teacher they may say, "Ms. X didn't make us line up as boys and girls, we just got to line up as people."

I also have to say that I think the level of fear that we experience over doing something "wrong" often keeps very simple things from changing for the good. I would really hate to see her stop doing things that empower all the children in her classroom out of fear that how she interacts with one child may get her in "trouble".

I don't want to make Softness' daughter afraid of building an empowering environment for children.

Gayla, you are right there are ways to build inclusivity without opening oneself up to potential trouble (for teacher and future teachers who may not *get* it).

However, if major adjustments are being made without the parents and staff of a school being made aware (this can include social worker, guidance, and administration), it can be a potential issue.

It is possible to be gender neutral in many ways when designing activities and approaching student's; however, if it is getting into serious long term decisions then the school needs to be informed.

And, I think SuperFemme makes a really valuable contribution in that it will not be fair for one teacher to be accepting of this child and then to be levelled by their next year teacher who refuses to acknowledge any aspect of that child's internal sense of themselves.

Dylan · 06-24-2010, 10:39 PM

One teacher being cool is better than NO teachers being cool.

Transkids by this age have already figured out that the whole world doesn't get it.

It's the ones who are cool who make the difference

Dylan

Gayla · 06-25-2010, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

One teacher being cool is better than NO teachers being cool.

Transkids by this age have already figured out that the whole world doesn't get it.

It's the ones who are cool who make the difference

Dylan

I really wish I could thank you for this more than once.

I remember the cool teachers and I remember the really awful teachers but I don't much recall all of the mediocre, down the middle, play by the rules, didn't make a difference teachers.

The make a difference one's, they made it a point to make sure that I (and probably every one else in their classes) knew I was special to them in some way. It wasn't a huge thing like what's happening in this classroom but it was enough that it got me through the bad teachers.

I can only imagine the impact that this teacher is having on that student.

Chancie · 06-25-2010, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

One teacher being cool is better than NO teachers being cool.

Transkids by this age have already figured out that the whole world doesn't get it.

It's the ones who are cool who make the difference

Dylan

I agree.

I am a high school teacher, so the issues are different. Also, we talk more explicitly about sex and gender and sexual orientation than I expect in an elementary school. I don't think we always do a great job, but at least it's on the table. There have been several young people who choose gender neutral versions of their names, or who dress in a way that is commonly associated with young men if they are female or young women if they are male. I would never mention this to a parent, though if I thought there was a need, I would certainly check in with their counselor. There are so many ways we impose gender on young people. I don't think any of us have any idea if we haven't made a concerted effort to check in with ourselves. Very few people do that, even the small subset of people here.

Andrew, Jr. · 06-25-2010, 08:41 AM

Well, my teachers were jerks. I grew up in the 60's as well as Tranzman. I still have a hard time thinking about all of the conversations I had with them as a young transgendered child. Wearing my older's brothers jock strap under my shorts and pants, and holding it up with a ton of my mother's safety pins. I just don't get how all of the signals were missed or rather ignored. I just remember the beatings at home. The hate. The abuse. The fear instilled in my heart and soul.

Sometimes it is best left unsaid. The future is here and now. I sure hope and pray that trans-kids never have to endure what I did. If there is a Hell, I sure was in it.

06-24-2010, 10:27 PM	#1
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	I understand the legal stuff, I really do. Married to a teacher for a long time, etc. etc. so I totally get it. I read that the child has a gender neutral name so I don't think the teacher has "changed" the child's name. I'm not sure if the teacher has changed pronouns or if the OP did that simple out of respect. I think there are ways to be inclusive in a classroom environment without the risks. Yes, there are guidelines, but there is also quite a bit of freedom within each classroom. Things like mixing up the lines not on gender, etc. Just the fact that the teacher is at all aware gender issues like this even exist is going to give this student, and all of them really, an advantage. And maybe, when any of these children get to the next grade level and with a new teacher they may say, "Ms. X didn't make us line up as boys and girls, we just got to line up as people." I also have to say that I think the level of fear that we experience over doing something "wrong" often keeps very simple things from changing for the good. I would really hate to see her stop doing things that empower all the children in her classroom out of fear that how she interacts with one child may get her in "trouble".

06-24-2010, 10:39 PM	#3
Dylan Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: She thinks all my jokes are corny Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Great State O' Posts: 880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,027 Thanked 1,838 Times in 500 Posts Rep Power: 0	One teacher being cool is better than NO teachers being cool. Transkids by this age have already figured out that the whole world doesn't get it. It's the ones who are cool who make the difference Dylan

06-25-2010, 08:41 AM	#6
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well, my teachers were jerks. I grew up in the 60's as well as Tranzman. I still have a hard time thinking about all of the conversations I had with them as a young transgendered child. Wearing my older's brothers jock strap under my shorts and pants, and holding it up with a ton of my mother's safety pins. I just don't get how all of the signals were missed or rather ignored. I just remember the beatings at home. The hate. The abuse. The fear instilled in my heart and soul. Sometimes it is best left unsaid. The future is here and now. I sure hope and pray that trans-kids never have to endure what I did. If there is a Hell, I sure was in it.