Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Good luck TenderKnight,

Please be very careful as you withdraw, get some in person help as soon as you can and know that this thread and the people who read it are here any time.

best wishes,

Sherrie

[Soft*Silver]

TK, what an immense amount of courage you are displaying by getting off the drug. I also suggest you be very careful with your withdrawal and seek professional help if you need it. Go to ER if you have to. Dont just suffer through silently. And going to meetings IS a good thing. It will give you contact with others who have gone thru what you are going thru. They can help you. This is a WE program, not a ME program. You arent alone anymore. We are out there...just reach for us...

good luck honey and boy are you top of my prayer list!

[TenderKnight]

Thank you Sherrie and softness.. As well as to the others that have contacted me privately.. Thankfully, the withdrawl isn't too severe.. Lots of loose stool and feeling like i have a crappy flu.. Been taking imodium and lots of water.. If it were worse, I would check myself in.. This isn't my first time with this.. lol. You know how we learn the tricks.

I will be calling my sponcer soon and am off saturday.. There is a pretty big speaker meeting at the Alano club down the street, will connect with some more folks there. I guess my main issue is pride and shame right now.. Hence, I'm talking about it here first.. I was over a year clean before this.. I know what I need to do, it's just hard to hand over my power.. I have been repeating the first step and have been praying for the courage to let go.. Will take time, but I know I can get there if I just take the first steps.

Thank you for being here and for your thoughts.

-Tony

[deeperstill]

Dear TK,

sending my warmest thoughts in your direction

[Soft*Silver]

right now, TK, you are my hero.,,

[TenderKnight]

deeperstill (love the name, btw ), thank you for your warm wishes and thoughts.. it helps

softness, I don't feel like a hero, but I thank you.. lol.. You know, being a lil out of the fog has let me see just how much people do care about me.. Tonight at work, my co-worker went to the store to get me soup.. and then cooked it for me, lol. She knows how bad I've been going through it..

Wow.. I just felt grateful.. lol.. Weird, it's been a couple of months. :/

It's going to be a raw time for me coming up.. But you know, I'm glad I almost have 24 hours right now.. So much is going through my brain, and I have to admit to looking forward to meeting with my sponcer again.. He's been my sponcer for almost two years now and he is a true friend.. My shame has kept me from contacting him, other then a short call here and there.. He told me that he loved me no matter what and if I just needed a friend, without meetings or steps, I had it. I am grateful for having him in my life.

I guess I just got all kinda of bogged down with myself and *my* plans that I ignored my Higher Power's plans.. But then, maybe this is part of it too.. I don't know. (keeps expecting the timer to go off on my share, lol). In any case, I wanted some play time and thought that being "free" to do whatever i wanted was the answer.. I was actually just locking myself up into my head and my apartment. Blah..

Anyway.. I am sober tonight. First time I can say that in a few months now. It feels good, but weird.. I'm also still in withdrawl, so I'm starving but can't get much down.. Soups and stuff work, but the thought of solid food turns my stomach.. Crackers work if I'm slow with them. Like I said, like the flu but without the fever and cough, lol.

Thank you both again.. Your words and thoughts have and continue to help me.

In Light,
Tony

[Soft*Silver]

when my fog lifted, I was disappointed at first, because all I saw was the sun rising. It wasnt until later that I realized it was the first sun rise I had seen in years.My senses were so deadened I didnt appreciate the gift of a new day. To me, when I use, I am like a spoiled kid who just expects to be handed things, like a sun rise. It didnt dawn on me that even tho it rose every day, I had to take notice and appreciate it.

your fog has lifted. You have always had people around you. Now you appreciate how they care about you...

enjoy those crackers...they are god's gift to the suffering person with an addiction. Thats right....god whispered in some executive's ear and soon enough, those crackers were just waiting for you....

yes sir..thats just how it happened...