what NOT to do in a relationship.......

Glenn · 07-30-2010, 04:29 AM

[QUOTE=RadiantYearning;163604]Don't spend the entirety of the honeymoon phase showing her how sexually compatible the two of you are, only to lay the cease and desist order on the nightstand the evening after you both sign papers on the house.

Hm. So that's what they used to cap the oil well.

weatherboi · 07-30-2010, 05:09 AM

don't involve somebody's work space!!!
don't threaten to call the parents and divulge shit that is none of their business!!!

betenoire · 07-30-2010, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

fucking weeds do

Fucking needy-ass weeds.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Please if you whine or have a habit of whining disclose this to all parties so that the non whining party can tell you to bounce!

The only thing that is worse than whining is silent pouting. Pissed off at me? Be prepared to say so AND say why. If you can't/won't do that I will presume you are pissed about something REALLY stupid and I won't give a shit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

Exactly. If you cannot accept how much mommy loves her Baby Smelly who is Orange (and when he's not Orange he's White) you're in for a world full of aggravation. Sulking when I dote all over my Baby Smelly will only make me dote all over Baby Smelly even more - my favourite person/pet in the room is always the one who is not sulking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

For fucking real.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oiler41

Or the reverse; don't invest large sums of money into a large asset that doesn't have your name on it.

I think that's sensible. If only one person has their name on the deed to the house, the person who doesn't have their name on it should NOT be paying 50% of the mortgage and house expenses and what they DO pay needs to be negotiated as rent and there should be receipts given for that each month.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

having an inoperative decoy remote is
BAD.
BAD.
BAD.

having an inoperative decoy remote is
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.

Quote:

Originally Posted by desdansmoncoeur

- don't use sex as a bribe or punishment

On the flip side of that, I really cannot fuck someone who I am angry with. It feels dishonest.

EDITED to add: Do not call me at work. I am working.

RockOn · 07-30-2010, 06:06 AM

What not to do?

I will be careful not to be so trusting so fast and give 100% in the very beginning. I have only given 100% once in my entire life.

Once I fell in love way too quickly with a wonderful woman. I fell so fast and out of control. It was not her fault but entirely mine. That only happened one time in my almost 54 years. It won't happen again.

Today, I keep my heart very guarded and have no use for LDR/Online relationships except for platonic.

Happy Friday to all!

Brock

dark_crystal · 07-30-2010, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

EDITED to add: Do not call me at work. I am working.

and do not second-guess me when i tell you i cannot do something because of a work conflict- including posting online, sending a fax for you, taking a day off, or returning your phone call. Even if "last time" i could, if i say "this time i can't," then i seriously can't!

i am the only one who knows for sure what will and will not be cool with the powers that be on any given day!

Lynn · 07-30-2010, 08:25 AM

While concern for my safety and wellbeing is great, don't patronize me and treat me like I'm incapable of taking care of myself. I assure you, I can and I will.

Soon · 07-30-2010, 08:29 AM

Expect a pattern of behaviour or a certain appearance based on previous lovers and/or what you think a woman or femme should be like.

MrSunshine · 07-30-2010, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

Expect a pattern of behaviour or a certain appearance based on previous lovers and/or what you think a woman or femme should be like.

Yes, same can be said for butch/he/she/whatnot should be like. Individuality is hard for some to separate I suppose.

Tangle · 04-01-2011, 05:03 PM

3) I am not ever going to be a femme in shining armour again. "you are perfectly wonderful you just need someone to love you enough and all your sh*tty behaviour and bitterness about others and cr@ppy outlook and insecurities will magicly go away!" jesus what an ego I had, I swear.

6) I need a partner who does this and can do in a way I can hear them.

7) someone who can't be called on *their* shit. That's fucking irritating. go away.

Honeybarbara said the above, and #3 made me laugh out loud. For real. And amen to 6 & 7 - improvement together is always necessary!

prettylilgrrl · 04-01-2011, 05:55 PM

do not become who you think they want you to be............just be you.

miss entycing · 04-01-2011, 05:57 PM

don't insult my intelligence by keeping things from me, or being sneaky.
most of the time, i already knew You did it, but by then, You've lied on top of it.
and all bets are off- i'll never believe anything You say to me.

oh, and if You need to go off the grid to screw around, tell me first-
i'd rather consider the terms of a 'open' realtionship rather than get my feelings hurt.
and if not, then don't get all bent when MY play partner comes a callin.

Martina · 04-01-2011, 07:14 PM

Don't assume She can read your mind even if She is generally fairly good at that. i am always surprised when i do get around to communicating something i have been sitting on and She is wonderful and responsive and right there for me. What was i assuming about Her when i thought She knew by osmosis and wasn't responsive? That she didn't care? My issue, not Hers. And i have done that in every relationship i have ever had. i CAN communicate fine. i am just skeered of it. The blessings of being an ACOA.

Mister Bent · 04-01-2011, 07:33 PM

Be in one.

Queerasfck · 04-01-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Be in one.

Wow, next time don't hold back your feelings.

Words · 04-01-2011, 07:48 PM

Be honest enough to admit when it's your skeletons from the past not me or my behaviour that have caused you to act a certain way.

I am your new beginning and although I'm not perfect, I'm not them.

Don't take your current frustrations with others/life out on me. I will love you and support you and, if necessary, even fight for you, but that ''Well who else can I take it out on'' is the biggest cop out there is. Shout, curse, cry, do whatever it takes to get it out of your system and I'll be there to support you...I won't, however, be your emotional punchbag.

Don't ever presume to know what I feel. If I no longer love you or want to be with you, I will tell you. Promise. For now, though, take it for granted that you are the love of my life and will be until the day I die

And finally....my thinking you're the sexist thing on two legs is conditional on your never, ever, doing the following:

1. Taking a crap with the bathroom door open.

2. Scratching anywhere south of your navel and higher than the hem of your boxers.

3. Allowing your belching/farting to reach deafening proportions. Yes, we all 'do it' (some of us, I might add, with more decorum than others *ahem*) but could we at least keep the decibel level to low? And no, I don't care how comfortable you are in our relationship, I do not consider excessive belching/farting a sign of your deep and lasting affection for me. (Do some people actually fall for that?)

And one more thing. Plenty of this

...and these...

...and this

might just make me turn a blind eye to your infatuation with Glee, that crazy online gardening thing over on Facebook, and mismatched underwear. Perhaps. They will never however replace your smile, your smell, or how I feel when you reach for my hand. The first group of things I enjoy...the second group I adore.

Words

girl_dee · 04-07-2011, 12:37 PM

don't let troublemakers bug you
don't stop listening to your gut
don't ignore those red (or even mauve) flags, they will haunt you

WingsOnFire · 04-07-2011, 08:22 PM

Stay in the relationship because it is comfortable and your scared to be alone.. Life is too short to be unhappy.. I know.. I spent 10 years of which 7 were miserable in a relationship for that very reason.. Never again..

Thank you Sir for making me happier than I ever have been.

Soft*Silver · 04-07-2011, 08:41 PM

dont jump to conclusions...

PearlsNLace · 08-01-2010, 02:43 PM

Dont stay up till you have to be at work in 2 hours processing emotions.

Go to bed.

Its ok to say I love you, but Im mad. And I need to sleep to clear my head.

Reapproach it tomorrow. After breakfast. And maybe even after talking it over with someone who can play devils advocate, or at least journal what your thinking

Remember you are on the same "team"

It diffuses the hight of the emotion a bit, for me.

dark_crystal · 08-01-2010, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

Dont stay up till you have to be at work in 2 hours processing emotions.

Go to bed.

Its ok to say I love you, but Im mad. And I need to sleep to clear my head.

Reapproach it tomorrow. After breakfast. And maybe even after talking it over with someone who can play devils advocate, or at least journal what your thinking

Remember you are on the same "team"

It diffuses the hight of the emotion a bit, for me.

this is a big one for me...i have caved on a milion issues i should have stoood firm for just because my partner was willing to keep me up all night if that was how long it was going to take for me to submit...i have a job to do and i can't do it sleepy...

07-30-2010, 08:25 AM	#6
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	While concern for my safety and wellbeing is great, don't patronize me and treat me like I'm incapable of taking care of myself. I assure you, I can and I will. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

04-01-2011, 05:55 PM	#10
prettylilgrrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, lil grrl Relationship Status: On an amazing journey Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: New York Posts: 59 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 65 Thanked 104 Times in 40 Posts Rep Power: 205834	do not become who you think they want you to be............just be you. __________________ prettylilgirl http://i0006.photobucket.com/albums/...s/2caa7d6a.jpg

04-01-2011, 05:57 PM	#11
miss entycing Senior Member How Do You Identify?: dangerous, but worth the risk. Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice.. it's that easy. Relationship Status: CapitalM's carved upon my skin. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: on the southern edge of sanity, under a carolina moon. Posts: 3,276 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,341 Thanked 8,262 Times in 2,254 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	don't insult my intelligence by keeping things from me, or being sneaky. most of the time, i already knew You did it, but by then, You've lied on top of it. and all bets are off- i'll never believe anything You say to me. oh, and if You need to go off the grid to screw around, tell me first- i'd rather consider the terms of a 'open' realtionship rather than get my feelings hurt. and if not, then don't get all bent when MY play partner comes a callin. __________________ True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate their life, through devotion, to something beyond themselves. Whenever someone awakens fully, it affects human consciousness at a collective level. It is like dropping a stone into a dark murky pond. Ripples of light... Not one word need be spoken.

04-01-2011, 07:33 PM	#13
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,825 Times in 1,722 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Be in one. __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

04-07-2011, 08:22 PM	#17
WingsOnFire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl Preferred Pronoun?: Female Ones... Relationship Status: Enjoying life but ready to meet someone Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portland Oregon Posts: 3,945 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,015 Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Stay in the relationship because it is comfortable and your scared to be alone.. Life is too short to be unhappy.. I know.. I spent 10 years of which 7 were miserable in a relationship for that very reason.. Never again.. Thank you Sir for making me happier than I ever have been. __________________ Previously known as MidnightBlueEyes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://gailsforum.files.wordpress.co...-psd340941.png

07-30-2010, 04:29 AM	#1
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old thing Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,602 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	[QUOTE=RadiantYearning;163604]Don't spend the entirety of the honeymoon phase showing her how sexually compatible the two of you are, only to lay the cease and desist order on the nightstand the evening after you both sign papers on the house. Hm. So that's what they used to cap the oil well.

07-30-2010, 05:09 AM	#2
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,549 Times in 2,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	don't involve somebody's work space!!! don't threaten to call the parents and divulge shit that is none of their business!!!

07-30-2010, 06:06 AM	#4
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	What not to do? I will be careful not to be so trusting so fast and give 100% in the very beginning. I have only given 100% once in my entire life. Once I fell in love way too quickly with a wonderful woman. I fell so fast and out of control. It was not her fault but entirely mine. That only happened one time in my almost 54 years. It won't happen again. Today, I keep my heart very guarded and have no use for LDR/Online relationships except for platonic. Happy Friday to all! Brock

07-30-2010, 08:29 AM	#7
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Expect a pattern of behaviour or a certain appearance based on previous lovers and/or what you think a woman or femme should be like.

04-01-2011, 05:03 PM	#9
Tangle Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme w/o the high maintenance Preferred Pronoun?: Two guesses ;-) Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: mountain west Posts: 142 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 929 Thanked 319 Times in 101 Posts Rep Power: 7287899	3) I am not ever going to be a femme in shining armour again. "you are perfectly wonderful you just need someone to love you enough and all your shtty behaviour and bitterness about others and cr@ppy outlook and insecurities will magicly go away!" jesus what an ego I had, I swear. 6) I need a partner who does this and can do in a way I can hear them. 7) someone who can't be called on their* shit. That's fucking irritating. go away. Honeybarbara said the above, and #3 made me laugh out loud. For real. And amen to 6 & 7 - improvement together is always necessary!

04-01-2011, 07:14 PM	#12
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,285 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Don't assume She can read your mind even if She is generally fairly good at that. i am always surprised when i do get around to communicating something i have been sitting on and She is wonderful and responsive and right there for me. What was i assuming about Her when i thought She knew by osmosis and wasn't responsive? That she didn't care? My issue, not Hers. And i have done that in every relationship i have ever had. i CAN communicate fine. i am just skeered of it. The blessings of being an ACOA.

04-01-2011, 07:48 PM	#15
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,258 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Be honest enough to admit when it's your skeletons from the past not me or my behaviour that have caused you to act a certain way. I am your new beginning and although I'm not perfect, I'm not them. Don't take your current frustrations with others/life out on me. I will love you and support you and, if necessary, even fight for you, but that ''Well who else can I take it out on'' is the biggest cop out there is. Shout, curse, cry, do whatever it takes to get it out of your system and I'll be there to support you...I won't, however, be your emotional punchbag. Don't ever presume to know what I feel. If I no longer love you or want to be with you, I will tell you. Promise. For now, though, take it for granted that you are the love of my life and will be until the day I die And finally....my thinking you're the sexist thing on two legs is conditional on your never, ever, doing the following: 1. Taking a crap with the bathroom door open. 2. Scratching anywhere south of your navel and higher than the hem of your boxers. 3. Allowing your belching/farting to reach deafening proportions. Yes, we all 'do it' (some of us, I might add, with more decorum than others ahem) but could we at least keep the decibel level to low? And no, I don't care how comfortable you are in our relationship, I do not consider excessive belching/farting a sign of your deep and lasting affection for me. (Do some people actually fall for that?) And one more thing. Plenty of this ...and these... ...and this might just make me turn a blind eye to your infatuation with Glee, that crazy online gardening thing over on Facebook, and mismatched underwear. Perhaps. They will never however replace your smile, your smell, or how I feel when you reach for my hand. The first group of things I enjoy...the second group I adore. Words

04-07-2011, 12:37 PM	#16
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	don't let troublemakers bug you don't stop listening to your gut don't ignore those red (or even mauve) flags, they will haunt you

04-07-2011, 08:41 PM	#18
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,904 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	dont jump to conclusions... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

08-01-2010, 02:43 PM	#19
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,286 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505517	Dont stay up till you have to be at work in 2 hours processing emotions. Go to bed. Its ok to say I love you, but Im mad. And I need to sleep to clear my head. Reapproach it tomorrow. After breakfast. And maybe even after talking it over with someone who can play devils advocate, or at least journal what your thinking Remember you are on the same "team" It diffuses the hight of the emotion a bit, for me.