Mental Illness

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I am clinically depressed. For me right now, I feel like I walk on egg shells around people. My words are taken out of context or misconstrued to mean something other than what they were meant to mean. And for me, it takes too much energy to get it out. I am tired of always and then being labeled a . Let me give an example. Today I went to the grocery store for Rosie. She has to give me a list, otherwise I come home with half the store. Anyway, she had some spice on the list that was for baking. I could barely pronounce the word, plus had no clue it was a spice. I handed the list to the lady in the help booth or whatever it's called nowadays. She looked at it, then laughed. She said the entire end cap was just filled with it from top to bottom. Who knew? I didn't. Heck, I didn't even see it. I felt like a jerk.

Holidays are hard on me. I used to enjoy being around people when I was younger, but not any more. It is more like dread as I have aged. Just another person to jump me, and make fun of me. I think I do better one on one. But that is just me.

I am glad that you guys and gals understand me, and help me. It makes my life so much more full. I use this site as a safe haven. You enrich my life more than you will ever know.

Love,
Andrew

Andrew, I agree 100% about the holidays. All sorts of people to be around and unfamiliar places to navigate. It takes all my energy for one party, and I have several in my future. Kind of like a field of landmines.



One thing I have found helpful is to remember that most people are so into themselves that I am noticed way less than I think I am. If someone takes you wrong...calmly appologize and laugh with them. I know its hard, I am working on this myself. I am very defensive when I feel like I have done somehting dumb...in reality, most people have not noticed what I did or me at all. Don't feel like a jerk.

Really, if they are laughing to your face, they are either laughing with you, or a way huger jerk than you are even capable of being and thats on them!

PS. yes, I know huger is not a word, but I live to make up words