"Pro-ana" websites turn girls on to anorexia

dark_crystal · 09-09-2010, 08:17 AM

it isn't just teen girls...i am forty and as of yesterday have three months in recovery from Anorexia

i will say this: i have been on these sites. About half the girls on them are wanna-bes. It is sad that they would want this, but the sickness needed to actually starve oneself is not that easy to induce. The sites probably do not cause it, but for the other half that DO have the seeds already within them, the sites will definitely extend the duration and severity of the disease, by making it seem more normal and less dangerous.

On the other hand, i have seen site members save each other from suicide and encourage a poster who seems especially ill to seek treatment. They do care about each other and notice when a frequent poster goes quiet, and then try to reach that girl or her family on the phone or in person to make sure she isn't dead, at least.

suebee · 09-09-2010, 09:25 AM

I understand somewhat the dynamics of anorexia/bulemia, but am at a loss as to understand those who create sites like this. Is this just an extension of the disease, or is there something more sinister going on here? Is this a disorder in and of itself, or are am I trying too hard? (the old social worker in me)

Anyone have any ideas?

Lynn · 09-09-2010, 09:38 AM

It's no doubt more complex than an either-or construct. I personally take any effort to network or communicate with others as a sign of motivation toward health, as opposed to remaining secretive and isolative. Even if the content is unhealthy, it is a move in the direction of the potential for help. It's shocking and sad to be exposed to the depths of sadness and pain that another human being can feel. It's hard to understand this, but I have come to have confidence that it doesn't make the individuals beyond help or hope.

dark_crystal · 09-09-2010, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suebee

I understand somewhat the dynamics of anorexia/bulemia, but am at a loss as to understand those who create sites like this. Is this just an extension of the disease, or is there something more sinister going on here? Is this a disorder in and of itself, or are am I trying too hard? (the old social worker in me)

Anyone have any ideas?

usually the sites are created by those who are already ill and seeking to band together with others to "stay strong." The disease is very isolating and you tend to withdraw from friends and family b/c social and family functions tend to involve eating- which i was capable of NOT doing, but it causes uncomfortable questions, etc.

You feel like no one understands, and you're right. You don't want to admit that you are sick so you seek out other sick people to make you feel normal.

all of the original livejournal comms are run by the same person, who ultimately seeks to attract the members to his treatment program.

suebee · 09-09-2010, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

usually the sites are created by those who are already ill and seeking to band together with others to "stay strong." The disease is very isolating and you tend to withdraw from friends and family b/c social and family functions tend to involve eating- which i was capable of NOT doing, but it causes uncomfortable questions, etc.

You feel like no one understands, and you're right. You don't want to admit that you are sick so you seek out other sick people to make you feel normal.

all of the original livejournal comms are run by the same person, who ultimately seeks to attract the members to his treatment program.

I'm wondering - and you may or may not be able to answer this d.k. - Do the pictures posted not in any way spark a comprehension of the reality of situation to those who suffer from anorexia? I'm thinking that you can see your own image in the mirror and perceive yourself as "too fat", but is there no filter that recognizes a starving body, or has the ideal been completely replaced with emaciation? Is the behavior so compulsive at that point that there IS no reality check?

This is one of those disorders where I understand what happens, but struggle to understand exactly what the thought process becomes when one is in it's grips. I think that the fact that I tend to overeat and be overweight might be part of it too. But it occurs to me that if I have difficulty grasping it then probably there are others that do as well.

I don't in any way want you to answer if you're uncomfortable, but perhaps somebody on the site has more insight than I do and could explain.

Sue

squeak · 09-09-2010, 12:32 PM

Well, like dark_crystal said, it isn't always a teenage phenomenon, but I think it can be more prevalent in the microcosm of high school and trying to stand out in such a fixed community. But once you've identified with it, the thought patterns still crop up years later.

Like with any group, there will be people wanting to join because they feel they should to fit in, because they want to associate with the members of the group, because they feel drawn to the goal, and many different reasons. In my personal experience, it began in high school as a way to stand out. I was a social outcast, and I wanted the popular girls to like and admire me. One day a girl complimented me on how skinny I was, but not as skinny as another girl. I thought that my size could be a point of pride. It attracted people who liked being around an extreme, and they helped me police my eating and fawned over the size of my clothes and my restraint.

It wasn't so much a recovery process for me as it was a realization that I wasn't connecting with quality people and hated that they had control over me. It was easy to disconnect after high school. To this day I get really defensive when someone comments about what or how much I'm eating. I'm not sure why other people engage in this behavior, but for me it was something I could easily control and yielded results that were once an 'accomplishment.'

Thankfully, I now prefer to be complimented on my stellar baking abilities.

xosqueak

dark_crystal · 09-09-2010, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suebee

I'm wondering - and you may or may not be able to answer this d.k. - Do the pictures posted not in any way spark a comprehension of the reality of situation to those who suffer from anorexia? I'm thinking that you can see your own image in the mirror and perceive yourself as "too fat", but is there no filter that recognizes a starving body, or has the ideal been completely replaced with emaciation? Is the behavior so compulsive at that point that there IS no reality check?

This is one of those disorders where I understand what happens, but struggle to understand exactly what the thought process becomes when one is in it's grips. I think that the fact that I tend to overeat and be overweight might be part of it too. But it occurs to me that if I have difficulty grasping it then probably there are others that do as well.

I don't in any way want you to answer if you're uncomfortable, but perhaps somebody on the site has more insight than I do and could explain.

Sue

Do you mean the "Thinspo" photos? Of super-skinny and emaciated girls? I used to download those to my phone and scroll through them when faced with an eating situation, to remind me of my goals. So, no- they do not spark a reality check- they spark envy

suebee · 09-09-2010, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

Do you mean the "Thinspo" photos? Of super-skinny and emaciated girls? I used to download those to my phone and scroll through them when faced with an eating situation, to remind me of my goals. So, no- they do not spark a reality check- they spark envy

Yeah. That's incredible - to see a picture of someone who's probably on the verge of dying and be envious.

We - and I mean the grand "we" of society give so many messages to girls and women. I was shopping the other day thinking I could get some summer clothes on sale. I was looking for my size - which in MY mind is large - 16, 18 - depending upon the cut etc. "Large" was 10-12, "Small" was 6-8 I believe. So let's see: If you're a "normal" woman, you're between size 6 and 12. WTF?

And what's up with 89% of eleven year-olds thinking they're overweight?

dark_crystal · 09-09-2010, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suebee

Yeah. That's incredible - to see a picture of someone who's probably on the verge of dying and be envious.

We - and I mean the grand "we" of society give so many messages to girls and women. I was shopping the other day thinking I could get some summer clothes on sale. I was looking for my size - which in MY mind is large - 16, 18 - depending upon the cut etc. "Large" was 10-12, "Small" was 6-8 I believe. So let's see: If you're a "normal" woman, you're between size 6 and 12. WTF?

And what's up with 89% of eleven year-olds thinking they're overweight?

I remember being a 6th grader (age 11 in the fall, 12 by the end of the year, usually) and having my friends react with shock that i intended to actually eat at lunchtime...the prevailing opinion was that nobody else would dare to think they could afford the calories...course we all binged as soon as we got home. And this was in 1983!

09-09-2010, 08:17 AM	#1
dark_crystal Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: jenny Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl Relationship Status: First Lady of the United SMH Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,445 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,532 Thanked 26,550 Times in 4,688 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	it isn't just teen girls...i am forty and as of yesterday have three months in recovery from Anorexia i will say this: i have been on these sites. About half the girls on them are wanna-bes. It is sad that they would want this, but the sickness needed to actually starve oneself is not that easy to induce. The sites probably do not cause it, but for the other half that DO have the seeds already within them, the sites will definitely extend the duration and severity of the disease, by making it seem more normal and less dangerous. On the other hand, i have seen site members save each other from suicide and encourage a poster who seems especially ill to seek treatment. They do care about each other and notice when a frequent poster goes quiet, and then try to reach that girl or her family on the phone or in person to make sure she isn't dead, at least. __________________

09-09-2010, 09:38 AM	#3
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	It's no doubt more complex than an either-or construct. I personally take any effort to network or communicate with others as a sign of motivation toward health, as opposed to remaining secretive and isolative. Even if the content is unhealthy, it is a move in the direction of the potential for help. It's shocking and sad to be exposed to the depths of sadness and pain that another human being can feel. It's hard to understand this, but I have come to have confidence that it doesn't make the individuals beyond help or hope. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

09-09-2010, 09:25 AM	#2
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,756 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450092	I understand somewhat the dynamics of anorexia/bulemia, but am at a loss as to understand those who create sites like this. Is this just an extension of the disease, or is there something more sinister going on here? Is this a disorder in and of itself, or are am I trying too hard? (the old social worker in me) Anyone have any ideas?

09-09-2010, 12:32 PM	#6
squeak Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme! Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: making one butch sweat Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: hollywood, ca Posts: 30 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10 Thanked 57 Times in 18 Posts Rep Power: 155232	Well, like dark_crystal said, it isn't always a teenage phenomenon, but I think it can be more prevalent in the microcosm of high school and trying to stand out in such a fixed community. But once you've identified with it, the thought patterns still crop up years later. Like with any group, there will be people wanting to join because they feel they should to fit in, because they want to associate with the members of the group, because they feel drawn to the goal, and many different reasons. In my personal experience, it began in high school as a way to stand out. I was a social outcast, and I wanted the popular girls to like and admire me. One day a girl complimented me on how skinny I was, but not as skinny as another girl. I thought that my size could be a point of pride. It attracted people who liked being around an extreme, and they helped me police my eating and fawned over the size of my clothes and my restraint. It wasn't so much a recovery process for me as it was a realization that I wasn't connecting with quality people and hated that they had control over me. It was easy to disconnect after high school. To this day I get really defensive when someone comments about what or how much I'm eating. I'm not sure why other people engage in this behavior, but for me it was something I could easily control and yielded results that were once an 'accomplishment.' Thankfully, I now prefer to be complimented on my stellar baking abilities. xosqueak