Exclusion: A Women's Issue?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by QueenofQueens

I totally understand the fears you're expressing. I get that as someone who doesn't want to contribute to the oppression or silencing of another group, you don't want to be characterized as one who would. It's difficult to refrain from feeling the need to defend yourself when things are said in ignorance and frustration.
That said, I believe, that it is possible for different groups of people to maintain safe space in order to share mutual, lived, experience and still build bridges with their allies.
To me, wanting to retain a little "personal" space within a bigger community is not about exclusion. I think it's about folks like you bearing witness to your experiences, without interruption, so that you have the fortitude and patience to build better bridges (and just be able to live) outside of that safe space.
I know that as an artist, I crave the company and insight of other artists sometimes. Sometimes I want to have a conversation about an issue I'm dealing with as an artist with other people who "get it" sans background story or explanations. This doesn't exclude the fact that I still love and need my non-artist patrons, allies, and friends.
I think the same is true of gender identities.
While I know it can be hard to feel as though you're "sitting on your hands", I think we can all work to be better allies to those who identify differently than we do. Repping people, sending supportive p.m.s, starting threads that extend an effort to engage in thoughtful dialogue, are all powerful, though seemingly small ways, to let people know that they've been heard and that you respect their self expression. Vis a vis, consistently being a good ally, and proceeding from a place of respect and kindness can have a huge impact on changing the way people think about you and people like you. The good ones (and most are at heart) always come around and that creates community.

I think this site can provide an extremely positive atmosphere of mutual respect that will afford all of us a voice if we just let ourselves, and each other, be heard.

The thanks button just isn't enough for the love that I have for this post.

I'd give you a hug, a high five and an orange creme push up pop for this post.

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

I was going to say, I am trans, FTM later on when I can afford it, right now I am female bodied and a woman wrapped in. I will never deny I am a female or a woman, even after my transitition.

And that is your journey. It's yours and yours alone and it's fantastic because it's YOURS.

HOWEVER...

Many people do not feel as you do. There are many who do not wish to acknowledge or identify that their bodies have any femininity at all. They are men, through and through, from the day they were born in the wrong body and/or with a birth defect until the day they die.

I don't want to put words in blush's mouth, but I think she and I share the experience of knowing others who have never seen themselves as women, despite what others around them see, and that is what I read in her post.

I love the diversity of our community. It's like walking into an ice cream shop full of a million and one flavors. I want to know everything about all of them, which ones have nuts, bubble gum, or berries in them as well as which ones are full-flavored and which are lactose or fat free. I've always been insatiable in my quest to learn more (about select things....I have no interest in the stock market or rebuilding my engine, but people...people I need to figure out) and I feel that being able to see into the minds of my fellow members allows me insight that I can't get anywhere else.

So, if someone were to put up a butches only thread, great. I get the need for a circle of commraderie and empathetic AND sympathetic bonding, I do. I feel that with my femme sisters sometimes.

I just don't know if I'm going to have my wits about me 24/7 enough to remember that, oh no....I can't post in this thread....I have to pm or rep that person instead. And then I begin to wonder if a person brings up a controversial point but only a select group can respond because it's a fill in the blank only type thread, just how many times that person is going to be repped or pm'd because it would be impolite or improper for the 112 people that thought up the exact same question I did to respond in the thread with one post that may clarify everything?

And then I realize that if they, like me, do not have a paid membership, how many of those pms are going to be bounced back to the questioning souls because we...the unpaid membershippers...have only 15 pm spots free for the taking?

And then the reps will fly by so fast that the one they are asking won't even see a fraction of them and then those who are repping in the hopes of finding clarification and knowledge will feel ignored...silenced...because there are so many reps going through that the one they are pming had no CLUE they even wrote. I wonder how much ill will and frustration that would foster?

These are some of my convoluted thoughts right now.