For those who self-injurer

[swagger]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I am in therapy too and it seems to be helping. My psychiatrist said to hit myself in the shoulder, not the head if I must hit myself...which makes sense.

Ive been so stressed lately my hair is actually falling out, instead of me pulling it. Creepy. Maybe becasue I pull it so tight ina bun my head hurts.

I have been doing better about hitting myself, onlyonce recently, but I think about it and my eyelashes are grown back.

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by swagger

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

yup i get this.. spur of the moment knee-jerk reaction to an intense emotion.. bang its done, all better.

[swagger]

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by swagger

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.

[swagger]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.

Normal how? A guy I know told me hit and that he thought it more "manly" than cutting. More of a male response. For me it is fast enraged violence without planning. When I cut, it was always because I *wanted* to cut. I have never, ever wanted to punch myself hard in the head and throat.

[girl_dee]

Normal = a girl who looks like she has got it together and pretty happy with herself..

Not someone who in a fit of self hate or an emotional snap will yank her hair out and take a hammer to her arm. I am WAY better now but there was a day.. a sad dark time when it was bad.. I don't remember a time when I didn't use a punch or cut to make me feel better. I can be sitting in a restaraunt with friends, suddenly a feeling comes over me, off to the bathroom I go.. punch, pinch, yank, hit... all better.. no one would ever guess.

Being an endorphin junkie I tend to do other things to bring that feeling but in a more controlled setting.. its the spur of the moment fits that are the hard ones.

[Tcountry]

Thanks! I have read the whole thread & found interesting the different actions & reasons...
I have been an emotional cutter (when things get all jumbled & u can't think or feel anything anymore & ur just numb to the world) cutting makes me focus on one emotion/pain...I have recently made a playlist of songs I know make me cry...thinking next time I can play those songs & that will bring the sad/tears & I won't want to cut.
Hopefully finding a different way to cure the numbness...
I think the hardest thing to hear is someone I am in a relationship with say she doesn't want me to cut "because of me"...like if we have a fight or something...the smartass response would be, well then don't continue to yell at me...lol ...cause if you stopped yelling & observed u would see the breaking point...

Advise for anyone in a relationship with a salf harmer...talk to them about what their triggers/reasons are...& listen, really listen to words & body language...& be willing to stand by them when it does happen...cause it is really hard to stop & they don't need yet another person telling them how wrong or unhealthy it is...

Thanks, T.