Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yep, I have swiss cheese for a brain. It happened from an accident when I was a day old, and dropped on my head onto a hardwood floor. My skull was cracked and some major blood vessels tore open.

It still doesn't stop ppl from calling me retard or idiot, the looks when my tic starts, or the negative responses I usually get when my words don't match what my thoughts are, or if I have a seizure in public. It hasn't happened yet.

I think it also has to do with how ppl are perceived. Superfemme is perceived one way, and I am another. If we both were laying on the ground unconscious, who do you think ppl would go to first? My bet is on Superfemme without a doubt.

I believe that most ppl fear the unknown. It was like when my adopted father had his stroke. He lost the left side of his body. One day he was walking to the mailbox using his walker, and his neighbors seeing this, waved hi to him, but did not stop to chat as was the usual. Having good health is a gift. When you don't have it, and you have chronic health problems, it changes you. You don't see life and living as the same as someone who is healthy.

I think this is a great lesson in SELF perception. Because I have had many seizures in public Woodie. Hmm. Let me give you a few examples. One time I had a doozie of a seizure in the supermarket. When I came to the store security was pointing a gun at me.

Two other times I went from having a seizure to nobody helping, calling for help and tried to walk myself home. These two times I was arrested for *drunk in public* despite having a letter from my Neurosurgeon and a seizure card and medic alert bracelet. I blew 0.0 on the breathalyzer and then had forced blood tests. I sat in jail for over eight hours until the results came back. Without apology.

I flew to NM with my family who had decided my head injury was me being dramatic. We got off the shuttle at the car rental place and again I had a doozie. My own fucking family stepped right over me and left me laying on the cement in 102 degree weather. The shuttle driver turned me on my side and talked gently to me. He had a son with epilepsy.

In Vegas in 06 I had a seizure during the Ball at the Bash. Do you remember that? Because everybody walked right by me, and when I was taken to the ladies room by a dear friend? Bash attendee's were coming in and rolling their eyes.

The only place I experienced compassion was in my brain injury school. We all looked out for each other and had a plan of action. The teachers knew my quirks and could tell when I was going to seize. They kept a pillow and blanket in the cupboard and always made sure I didn't get hurt and that I came to in a soft, quiet and safe environment. We all did that for each other because it is kind of like a special club we are in, where only we can truly know...

So the assumption that I get some kind of pretty privilege is hurtful. At the end of the day we are the same. We have these seizures and it scares the bystanders because it is in the realm of the unknown for them. It usually traumatizes them, and then us because we hear the nasty/ignorant comments as we are trying to find our way back to our bodies.

Regardless of the bad experiences I am NOT a victim. I am a fucking MIRACLE and if one person learns something and changes their perspective after witnessing my seizure, then perhaps they will pass it on and the torch of empathy, compassion, and love will burn a little brighter. You are a miracle to Woodie. Not a victim.

I have to say that you hurt my feelings, but only for a second. Because I'm not giving them away.