Were you adopted in a closed adoption?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by ~Red~

I was adopted when I was 4mo's old, before that I was in foster care. From what I can gather, my birth mother was young, unmarried and Jewish.The father was Cree/Scottish, not a good combination. The young woman was pressured into giving me up because of racial issues on the side of the birth mother's family. Back in the 60's having a child that is part native was seriously frowned upon.

So here I am. I knew I was adopted very early, my folks didn't want me to have any issues. My cousin is adopted as well, and is bitter and a very angry person.

I did start a search for my birth mother when I was 20, as I was having some health issues that could be due to genetics. So I did get a hold of her, our conversation was pretty brief, I found out my genetic history including my own cultural background. I was very grateful for that, but neither of us wanted to persue a relationship - her for the fact she wanted that part of her past to remain so and I because she had no right to be.

My own hell started after my adoption. From the time I can remember, I was verbally attacked and threatened to be sent back the agency. The older I got the assaults became physical as well. I ended up being a very angry teen and young adult. I had major abandonment issues which have only dissipated in the last decade or so.

What I am mad at is that these agencies don't check deep enough into the prospective parents even to this day. It should not be a given that every person has the right to have/adopt a chld. I know a person who actually sued the agency and settled out of court. My was through the gov't and there was no way to get recourse.

On the flip side of all of this, I have become a kind, loving and very affectionate person. I make sure the folks in my life know how important and loved they are. I wouldn't be the person I am today I don't think without my childhood being so messed up.

~Red~

Oh, thank you for posting! I am part Native American too, and my adoptive parents were not told. Probably the agency.

I was abused mentally and physically too. I am so sorry you went through that. They don't check out the families well enough, though in my case, my parents being missionaries probably looked great on the application to adopt.

You are so right, we would not be the strong women we are today if we did nto have our childhoods.