"Butch" and "Femme" - Truly Antiquated Terms or More Marginalization?

[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Arwen, I totally get being upset at being called a "bad Lesbian", I have been called a "failure as a Lesbian". People can be so mean! Unbelievable.

I think we all need to be more careful in how we say things that ick us out, becasue it can easily hurt another person.

It's seems to me that in these types of websites it is so often the people who ID as Lesbians and Female identified Butches who get the brunt of the negative comments and over the years people are just as upset and raw as you were when that very unfeeling and selfish person told you you were a bad Lesbian.

Does that make sense?

I would like to know what I have to do or say or become for MY hurt to matter. Because it seems that, in the same way that for 190 years 'all men were created equal, just some were more equal than others' there is an unspoken ethic of 'everyone's pain is equally valid, but some folks pain is more valid than others'. (not saying YOU are doing this--not at all, I'm mostly thinking out loud)



Cheers
Aj

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by dreadgeek

I would like to know what I have to do or say or become for MY hurt to matter. Because it seems that, in the same way that for 190 years 'all men were created equal, just some were more equal than others' there is an unspoken ethic of 'everyone's pain is equally valid, but some folks pain is more valid than others'. (not saying YOU are doing this--not at all, I'm mostly thinking out loud)



Cheers
Aj

You are right, I am being a co-dependant freak and trying to backpetal because I don't want anyone to feel hurt.

And since I actually agree with what you said, I somehow felt we had less right to be hurt than Arwen.

ugh ugh ugh.

My appologies.

[BullDog]

Corkey there are people here who are lesbians who think that derogatory things have been said here- so our opinions don't matter?

Arwen and anyone else, I personally don't care whether anyone identifies as a lesbian or not, but I don't appreciate the stereotypes and the oh ick lesbian sentiments or that we are somehow less evolved- which is all in this thread.