Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > General Gender Discussions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-26-2009, 10:08 PM   #281
Dragonfly
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Queersexual Female
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
smiling real big
 
Dragonfly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: My Own House Illinois
Posts: 330
Thanks: 871
Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts
Rep Power: 645438
Dragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST Reputation
Default I asked my Teenage Daughter

She uses the words butch and femme still. The community is not one she was exposed to as a young child. She uses terms for multiple genders, as the person IDed or not. The main thing I have been influenced by my daughter, son, and their circle of friends in several schools now. The youth are leaning a little away from terms like lesbian in exchange for queer. There are a large amount of bisexuals in this generation, in this area specifically.

I asked what she thought about it all and she said that her generation was raised differently. More open minded and less discrimination influenced them to be more accpeting, less needing to be classified as they identified their genders and sexual prefences. I see them struggle less and she answers isn't that what your generation wanted, to change things? They stereotype less than we adults "what" different sexual acts are prefered by whom.

SO I think Yeah... Isn't that what everyone was fighting for? A generation like the one I see blossoming in my rural area?

And they haven't tossed aside our ID's just because some of them think the word queer is good enough til you start dating and talk about the rest. TMI they say and ya know... I do like the word queer and how inclusive it feels to me personally.
__________________
Stay Gold.
Dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dragonfly For This Useful Post:
Old 12-27-2009, 12:21 PM   #282
friskyfemme
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
precious
Relationship Status:
down to earth
 
friskyfemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 332
Thanks: 395
Thanked 370 Times in 152 Posts
Rep Power: 828
friskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputationfriskyfemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by June View Post
Amelia (Mel)

I loved that entire post and find it to be very true here in Portland as well. Younger folks do seem a lot more fluid in their identities and Gender presentations. I love that.

"Wasn't that what we were fighting for?"

Thank you for sharing that story.
I don't understand why people find it necessary to intellectualize their ids...I think some confusion at least for me (seems others too) is trying to understand: are people are coming from definition of sexual preference or personal id?

I have been around a lot of years. I id as 'stone femme'. This is my sexual preference. I am sexually attracted to stone butches...I am 'not' a no touch femme. I love 'no touch' butches. The guys that I date, love and partner with already understand where I am coming from.

Now...I am gonna age myself...when I came out...there were dykes and the woman who loved them and lesbians. The thing I realized early on ...I don't relate to 'female on female sex' - this is what lesbian means to me. So if I am talking, to a butch with a possible connection I will let them know 'I am not a lesbian'. The other thing that bugs me about the word lesbian is that it has been and is still used in negative context by hetros.

So maybe some of you consider me 'aniquated' but I have a clear ID and it works for me .
__________________
Love and Light,
FF
friskyfemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2009, 02:21 PM   #283
Jett
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Jett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I'm cross posting this from "The Re-Definition of Modern Butch" thread because I think it ties in here too:

Again, I can't see butch or femme becoming completely outdated, but... I can see us perpetuating the stereotypes and policing to the point that butch/femme wouldn't feel like a comfortable fit to many peeps. The subtle (and often blatant) up-holding of unrealistic ideals of butch and femme permeate the spaces around B-F and can make the perimeter appear minuscule and confining.

The vein of "real/more/better/high/true - us/them" that pervades the forums isn't any more welcoming and imo, it steals the true lifes blood of diversity and pushes a narrow standard of B-F that even the vast majority reading this wouldn't come close to living up to.

I've seen many B-F people wander into B-F spaces looking and log out permanently, they don't feel what they read... they don't fit the stereotypes, (or perhaps they just don't get the mind numbing "what's the most un-butch/femme thing you do". - jokes. *insert sarcastic look*).

Again, my thoughts are NOT about changing butch/femme... but changing the way we think and opening our minds to the diverse culture we already are and acknowledging this to become more inclusive.

I think it's more significant then ever that we check ourselves, before the age of the internet we didn't have the ability to leave such cut definitions... what we're writing, allowing and most importantly leaving unchallenged IS becoming our recorded legacy.

*actually a lot more fun in real life*
Metro
__________________
..........
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

Last edited by Jett; 12-27-2009 at 02:24 PM.
Jett is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2009, 02:30 PM   #284
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

To each their own as far as how you id and who you are attracted to. However, I'm a stone butch. I am a lesbian. I don't understand where people get these narrow ideas about lesbians or lesbian sex. The fact that some heterosexuals may use the word lesbian in a derogatory way certainly doesn't stop me from being proud to be a lesbian.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 12-27-2009, 05:50 PM   #285
WILDCAT
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Very PROUD BUTCH LESBIAN!
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 679
Thanks: 796
Thanked 551 Times in 238 Posts
Rep Power: 761791
WILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BullDog View Post
To each their own as far as how you id and who you are attracted to. However, I'm a stone butch. I am a lesbian. I don't understand where people get these narrow ideas about lesbians or lesbian sex. The fact that some heterosexuals may use the word lesbian in a derogatory way certainly doesn't stop me from being proud to be a lesbian.
That IS one example of what homophobia is about. Many queers have internalized homophobia. I had it myself when I was growing up, briefly! We were conditioned to feel badly about ourselves - for a multitude of reasons: "unnatural is it", for religious beliefs, etc... (Thus this gets projected from us onto others as well.) This is one thing that really is sad to me - the hate that comes from our own community, and the pain of denial. This is one of the MAIN reasons why I proudly use the term lesbian. I have nothing but pride for myself, my orientation, my lifestyle, my choice for loving another. I've come too far and have been through too much for me to change for someone/ANYONE else. Uh, uh. It ain't gonna happen. And any partner I may be with will feel just as strongly about this, in love and support - or we would be on two entirely different pages. And I don't believe as capable, thus... of fully being our best together then. (Just my wooden nickels worth there!)

And I respect that others need different types of compatibility and understanding, for what best compliments their "togetherness" and growth as a couple (or poly, etc...) I really do believe there is someone for everyone... and thank goodness we are not all "clones" of each other. And the times "change". Yes. They must. But, much will remain the same too. That's just the way it is. For we will keep what it is we want...

Otherwise, I'm fine with all self definitions and the new descriptors, ID's, whatever - in fact mine has changed throughout time as well. I would just hope that folks do things for the right reasons. And that respect is maintained... Some of this discussion has been truly mind boggling indeed, but it's showing what apparently needs to be shown. If you're saying something is yucky, for example - I'd check that out, and think before submitting. Love is a sensitive thing for many of us.

For the record, there is nothing MORE beautiful to ME than the scent and the taste of a woman. Hope that doesn't gross anyone out. How could I possibly apologize for that - on a site called Butch/Femme Planet? I realize it is a bit personal [for me] to post that, but I am proud of this as well. I think it is a very lovely part of my attraction and love for women. Actually, it makes me crazy insane filled with the most powerful sense of longing that I have EVER FELT! So, that is that. For me. And I'm sure a few others... possibly might be able to relate to this.

May we continue to move on in forward progress. So many thanks to some wonderful posts here and to the moderation.

Sincerely -

WILDCAT

*Who truly hopes everyone did have a wonderful F'n holiday. Honest.
WILDCAT is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to WILDCAT For This Useful Post:
Old 12-27-2009, 06:10 PM   #286
Beau
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
.
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: .
Posts: 178
Thanks: 71
Thanked 339 Times in 87 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Beau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST ReputationBeau Has the BEST Reputation
Smile thank you for this

Quote:
Originally Posted by WILDCAT View Post
That IS one example of what homophobia is about. Many queers have internalized homophobia. I had it myself when I was growing up, briefly! We were conditioned to feel badly about ourselves - for a multitude of reasons: "unnatural is it", for religious beliefs, etc... (Thus this gets projected from us onto others as well.) This is one thing that really is sad to me - the hate that comes from our own community, and the pain of denial. This is one of the MAIN reasons why I proudly use the term lesbian. I have nothing but pride for myself, my orientation, my lifestyle, my choice for loving another. I've come too far and have been through too much for me to change for someone/ANYONE else. Uh, uh. It ain't gonna happen. And any partner I may be with will feel just as strongly about this, in love and support - or we would be on two entirely different pages. And I don't believe as capable, thus... of fully being our best together then. (Just my wooden nickels worth there!)

And I respect that others need different types of compatibility and understanding, for what best compliments their "togetherness" and growth as a couple (or poly, etc...) I really do believe there is someone for everyone... and thank goodness we are not all "clones" of each other. And the times "change". Yes. They must. But, much will remain the same too. That's just the way it is. For we will keep what it is we want...

Otherwise, I'm fine with all self definitions and the new descriptors, ID's, whatever - in fact mine has changed throughout time as well. I would just hope that folks do things for the right reasons. And that respect is maintained... Some of this discussion has been truly mind boggling indeed, but it's showing what apparently needs to be shown. If you're saying something is yucky, for example - I'd check that out, and think before submitting. Love is a sensitive thing for many of us.

For the record, there is nothing MORE beautiful to ME than the scent and the taste of a woman. Hope that doesn't gross anyone out. How could I possibly apologize for that - on a site called Butch/Femme Planet? I realize it is a bit personal [for me] to post that, but I am proud of this as well. I think it is a very lovely part of my attraction and love for women. Actually, it makes me crazy insane filled with the most powerful sense of longing that I have EVER FELT! So, that is that. For me. And I'm sure a few others... possibly might be able to relate to this.

May we continue to move on in forward progress. So many thanks to some wonderful posts here and to the moderation.

Sincerely -

WILDCAT

*Who truly hopes everyone did have a wonderful F'n holiday. Honest.
Your most eloquent words speak my truth and my experience as well.
Beau is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Beau For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 11:52 AM   #287
Apocalipstic
Pink Confection

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am
Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
 
Apocalipstic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
Apocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I apologize, I have not read the last few pages, so if I am being redundant, just ignore me.

I have never on this or any other site made fun of what anyone else does in bed nor said it is gross, or disgusting. It freaks me out when people I consider friends think it is OK to say how I and other Lesbians have sex is disgusting.

I get that people some of you may have slept with might have said to you things that hurt, but it was not ME.

This is not a war where if someone kills a Palestinian, then the Palestinians feel the need to kill an Israeli and vice versa. This is, or should be, friends treating each other with respect.

Again, my apologies to the mods if I am repeating what has already been decided. Had to get it out of my system.
__________________
Apocalipstic is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 12:58 PM   #288
WILDCAT
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Very PROUD BUTCH LESBIAN!
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 679
Thanks: 796
Thanked 551 Times in 238 Posts
Rep Power: 761791
WILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST ReputationWILDCAT Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by apocalipstic View Post
I apologize, I have not read the last few pages, so if I am being redundant, just ignore me.

I have never on this or any other site made fun of what anyone else does in bed nor said it is gross, or disgusting. It freaks me out when people I consider friends think it is OK to say how I and other Lesbians have sex is disgusting.

I get that people some of you may have slept with might have said to you things that hurt, but it was not ME.

This is not a war where if someone kills a Palestinian, then the Palestinians feel the need to kill an Israeli and vice versa. This is, or should be, friends treating each other with respect.

Again, my apologies to the mods if I am repeating what has already been decided. Had to get it out of my system.

Yeah, that is kinda old news here now Apocalipstic. (Just kiddin' ya!)

I was only posting this last time, about folks being sensitive before submitting because of this kind of thing - sure, and just gave the "example" I did. However, I was coming back primarily after reading that someone stated that they didn't like the word lesbian because heterosexuals use it so negatively. So, that was pointed out earlier in this thread, about "homophobia". I thought it was overlooked a bit then. I felt that was a good example to reiterate now again. We do things sometimes without even knowing it. Not that this is what the topic is all about here, no - of course not.

I think the bush has been beat here for now though. (No pun intended!! OK, maybe!!)

Choices for "terms" used are just that. I am proud of my choices right now. They will not fit everyone like they do me.

I was clearly hurt the other day, seeing how this thread was going. I stated as much. I'm glad folks moved through things otherwise. Grateful I am, actually. I really appreciate some wonderful and thoughtful - as well as very supportive posts. Proves we "can" move forward... yes?
__

So, how were YOUR holidays? I really get stressed out at family gatherings. And then to some of us, THIS is our family - can you just imagine! (I'm in a humorous mood here, thank goodness!! Please, do NOT be alarmed.)

Peace now! Be proud of who and what you are. We all should. I just wish for some consideration regarding some of these sensitive topics on a butch/femme site. I would never write about two males together and say anything negative either, or a heterosexual couple - any dynamic of folks together. Love is love. Sexual attraction is that... And we have a very interesting and diverse population here. There are no hard and fast "anything"...

So, I don't need to keep saying that I am fine with everyone else's self-perception or ID, or what-ever the heck. I'm just going to be sure mine is respected, well - I will keep trying anyway, should the need come up.

SMILE!

Have a great day.

WILDCAT

*Sorry for errors and hope this makes sense. I am sleep "mixed up" right now.
WILDCAT is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to WILDCAT For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 01:03 PM   #289
Apocalipstic
Pink Confection

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am
Relationship Status:
Dating Myself
 
Apocalipstic's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
Apocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST ReputationApocalipstic Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WILDCAT View Post
Yeah, that is kinda old news here now Apocalipstic. (Just kiddin' ya!)

I was only posting this last time, about folks being sensitive before submitting because of this kind of thing - sure, and just gave the "example" I did. However, I was coming back primarily after reading that someone stated that they didn't like the word lesbian because heterosexuals use it so negatively. So, that was pointed out earlier in this thread, about "homophobia". I thought it was overlooked a bit then. I felt that was a good example to reiterate now again. We do things sometimes without even knowing it. Not that this is what the topic is all about here, no - of course not.

I think the bush has been beat here for now though. (No pun intended!! OK, maybe!!)

Choices for "terms" used are just that. I am proud of my choices right now. They will not fit everyone like they do me.

I was clearly hurt the other day, seeing how this thread was going. I stated as much. I'm glad folks moved through things otherwise. Grateful I am, actually. I really appreciate some wonderful and thoughtful - as well as very supportive posts. Proves we "can" move forward... yes?
__

So, how were YOUR holidays? I really get stressed out at family gatherings. And then to some of us, THIS is our family - can you just imagine! (I'm in a humorous mood here, thank goodness!! Please, do NOT be alarmed.)

Peace now! Be proud of who and what you are. We all should. I just wish for some consideration regarding some of these sensitive topics on a butch/femme site. I would never write about two males together and say anything negative either, or a heterosexual couple - any dynamic of folks together. Love is love. Sexual attraction is that... And we have a very interesting and diverse population here. There are no hard and fast "anything"...

So, I don't need to keep saying that I am fine with everyone else's self-perception or ID, or what-ever the heck. I'm just going to be sure mine is respected, well - I will keep trying anyway, should the need come up.

SMILE!

Have a great day.

WILDCAT

*Sorry for errors and hope this makes sense. I am sleep "mixed up" right now.

I am a wreck after the holidays too and soooo glad its almost over!

I really was not jumping off your fabulous post! Just saying what I had percolating (sp?) for days.

I agree completely love is love and I am so glad there is so much of it here! love, love loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I hope you get caught up on your rest and over the holidays quickly!



Jen
__________________
Apocalipstic is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 06:26 PM   #290
Toughy
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
pervert butch feminist woman
Preferred Pronoun?:
see above
Relationship Status:
independent entity
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Oakland
Posts: 1,826
Thanks: 4,068
Thanked 7,653 Times in 1,522 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Toughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST ReputationToughy Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by friskyfemme View Post
I don't understand why people find it necessary to intellectualize their ids...I think some confusion at least for me (seems others too) is trying to understand: are people are coming from definition of sexual preference or personal id?

I have been around a lot of years. I id as 'stone femme'. This is my sexual preference. I am sexually attracted to stone butches...I am 'not' a no touch femme. I love 'no touch' butches. The guys that I date, love and partner with already understand where I am coming from.

Now...I am gonna age myself...when I came out...there were dykes and the woman who loved them and lesbians. The thing I realized early on ...I don't relate to 'female on female sex' - this is what lesbian means to me. So if I am talking, to a butch with a possible connection I will let them know 'I am not a lesbian'. The other thing that bugs me about the word lesbian is that it has been and is still used in negative context by hetros.

So maybe some of you consider me 'aniquated' but I have a clear ID and it works for me .
I'm so confused by this post....truly confused.

You are not a 'no touch' femme and you only date 'no touch' butches??? How does that work?

What is 'female on female sex'? What is 'lesbian sex'?

If lesbian is defined entirely by sex act(s), is that not just a way to reduce lesbians to only a sex act? I mean that's what the het world does to all us queers..........we are defined by sexual act(s) only..........even though every sexual proclivity you can think of is done (can be done) by most folks regardless of gender identity or biological sex.

I know I am far more than my sexual and erotic proclivities .....and those proclivities are very fluid and always dependent on the dynamic between me and the femme I am with.....
Toughy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Toughy For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 07:30 PM   #291
Gemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
 
Gemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,972 Times in 25,664 Posts
Rep Power: 21474888
Gemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toughy View Post
I'm so confused by this post....truly confused.

You are not a 'no touch' femme and you only date 'no touch' butches??? How does that work?

.....
I have no answers for your other questions of frisky, but I actually know what she meant by this. She's a Stone Femme that partners with Stone Butches. Her partners have the 'no touch' (or no feminizing touching) sexual boundaries that she is fine with and respects. She does not have those same 'no touch' boundaries. She likes to be touched by her partners, especially in a feminizing way.

The rest I am actually interested in hearing the answers to.
__________________


I'm misunderestimated.
Gemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 07:38 PM   #292
NotAnAverageGuy
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
Trans
 
NotAnAverageGuy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,723
Thanks: 109
Thanked 282 Times in 178 Posts
Rep Power: 0
NotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the rough
Default

What if we didn't analyze each others ID's?
NotAnAverageGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2009, 07:44 PM   #293
Jett
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
Jett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST ReputationJett Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toughy View Post
I'm so confused by this post....truly confused.

You are not a 'no touch' femme and you only date 'no touch' butches??? How does that work?

What is 'female on female sex'? What is 'lesbian sex'?

If lesbian is defined entirely by sex act(s), is that not just a way to reduce lesbians to only a sex act? I mean that's what the het world does to all us queers..........we are defined by sexual act(s) only..........even though every sexual proclivity you can think of is done (can be done) by most folks regardless of gender identity or biological sex.

I know I am far more than my sexual and erotic proclivities .....and those proclivities are very fluid and always dependent on the dynamic between me and the femme I am with.....
I've tried to figure out what people mean by "lesbian sex" and address it here (in other posts) several times.... good luck.

Metro
*who's pretty damn sure lesbians all have different likes and dislikes in the bedroom just like everybody else*
.
__________________
..........
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

Last edited by Jett; 12-28-2009 at 07:53 PM.
Jett is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Jett For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 07:51 PM   #294
Gemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
 
Gemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,972 Times in 25,664 Posts
Rep Power: 21474888
Gemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default A question for your question....

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy View Post
What if we didn't analyze each others ID's?
I don't think the attempt is to analyze (as in break down) anyone's ID, but to understand and learn from one another's IDs. If we can't learn from one another, then how in heck can we try to help those outside of our community understand or accept us?
__________________


I'm misunderestimated.
Gemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2009, 07:57 PM   #295
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I am a Stone Butch. Feminizing touch does not factor in at all for me. I am a masculine female (butch). The way someone touches me is not going to make me feel more or less masculine or feminine. I am a Stone Butch Lesbian because that is how I am wired and what feels good to me and what gives me pleasure. I have my own boundaries, likes and dislikes when it comes to sex just like everyone else. There aren't any particular sex acts that qualify or disqualify me to be a lesbian. Being a Stone Butch doesn't disqualify me to be a lesbian either.

I am quite confused about the female on female sex. Unless you are transitioned or consider yourself to have a male body, don't you have a female body? Don't most of us female bodied people have sex with other female bodied people? This is a Lesbian/Queer website and community, right?
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 08:04 PM   #296
Dragonfly
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Queersexual Female
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
smiling real big
 
Dragonfly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: My Own House Illinois
Posts: 330
Thanks: 871
Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts
Rep Power: 645438
Dragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST Reputation
Default Gender ID's and Sexual Id's affecting the terms Butch and Femme

I dont know if anyone has stated an opinion on this yet or not. I read them all as they progressed.... but now my mind is cloudy. I just wanted to say that the BIG part of homophobia that I witness in my po dunk area is the sexual acts part of it not the who you love part. Some people gets so phobic and hateful by verbally commenting on their imagined homosexual sex acts-- that arent even accurate or stereotypically correct.... I wanna say just stop trying to guess cause you have no clue what I do in bed less you bed me.

SO can I just say maybe again if someone already has...

A gender ID is NOT a explanation of what you like sexually. Unless you say it is for you personally.... then thats ok with me as long as its not speaking for ALL anybodys IDing like you do...


Wondering...
If we can separate gender ID from sexual likes/dislikes completely.... the way my kids' generation does without thinking maybe everyone will realize all over the world just what that means. Maybe it would be un thought of to wonder if terms will be cast aside if that were to happen globally... separate gender 100% from sexuality....

If we can change our culture's "definitions" as I have seen through the years living within hetero culture and watching it change as I went unnoticed as queer... why cant we do that too.... separate them totally?

Do I have to feel I am lesbian just because I and my sexual partners so far have IDed as a female gender? Maybe if the whole world hears lesbian in that way... but I dont see why that HAS to stay like that forever if that is the "way it is".

And if I feel I ID as lesbian but am drawn to BF dynamics... does that mean I like to hide my homosexuality within the masculinity of butches.... as if I am pretending to be hetero without actually being one? Who cares.... if you think that of me anyway...

I dont view BF dynamics as male genders and female genders. That is why I like that people state it and dont act like we should all know by one term of their ID. Thats why I like two ply ID's and the idea of new terms added.

** sorry still A little tender from the card pullers of my intro to the community...

Btw, NO ONE has ever accepted me as one of "their team" from the hets and or the homes. Whomever mentioned bisexuals as the new bashed ID I think has it right for a certain generation... maybe not my kids' though....

Until BF community I was not enough of anything to "qualify" because its always all about the sex and how or who you do what with.

Thats why I like to think gender does not = sexuality.

__________________
Stay Gold.
Dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dragonfly For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2009, 08:07 PM   #297
NotAnAverageGuy
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
Trans
 
NotAnAverageGuy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,723
Thanks: 109
Thanked 282 Times in 178 Posts
Rep Power: 0
NotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the roughNotAnAverageGuy is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
I don't think the attempt is to analyze (as in break down) anyone's ID, but to understand and learn from one another's IDs. If we can't learn from one another, then how in heck can we try to help those outside of our community understand or accept us?

I agree about learning but the bickering is what I see as a problem. I see bickering over words that define each and everyone of us, to me that is disturbing.
NotAnAverageGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2009, 08:10 PM   #298
Gemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
 
Gemme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,972 Times in 25,664 Posts
Rep Power: 21474888
Gemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST ReputationGemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy View Post
I agree about learning but the bickering is what I see as a problem. I see bickering over words that define each and everyone of us, to me that is disturbing.
*nods*

It is difficult to see past the clashing of terms, I admit. I do feel it's necessary to do so, so that there won't be friction between the members of our community.

It is oftentimes a slow, bumpy road though.
__________________


I'm misunderestimated.
Gemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2009, 08:12 PM   #299
Cyclopea
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch Lesbian
 
Cyclopea's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Exit Zero
Posts: 1,267
Thanks: 1,694
Thanked 1,615 Times in 632 Posts
Rep Power: 226200
Cyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST ReputationCyclopea Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BullDog View Post
I am a Stone Butch. Feminizing touch does not factor in at all for me. I am a masculine female (butch). The way someone touches me is not going to make me feel more or less masculine or feminine. I am a Stone Butch Lesbian because that is how I am wired and what feels good to me and what gives me pleasure. I have my own boundaries, likes and dislikes when it comes to sex just like everyone else. There aren't any particular sex acts that qualify or disqualify me to be a lesbian. Being a Stone Butch doesn't disqualify me to be a lesbian either.

I am quite confused about the female on female sex. Unless you are transitioned or consider yourself to have a male body, don't you have a female body? Don't most of us female bodied people have sex with other female bodied people? This is a Lesbian/Queer website and community, right?
I don't know what "feminizing touch" is either.

Are there forms of touch that magically confer masculinity or femininity on the recipient?
What would be a form of masculinizing touch or feminizing touch?
Inquiring minds want to know!
Cyclopea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2009, 08:21 PM   #300
Dragonfly
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Queersexual Female
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
smiling real big
 
Dragonfly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: My Own House Illinois
Posts: 330
Thanks: 871
Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts
Rep Power: 645438
Dragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST ReputationDragonfly Has the BEST Reputation
Default Feminizing Touch

Feminizing Touch
Does that mean "in a way that reminds you that you are female born"? I mean does that describe the way your "bits" are stimulated? To use Selenay's term for them I once saw and stole from her recently cause its cute.

I do see a difference in technique... and have made love differently to a man than to a woman. See what I mean by terms that would be less confusing? If you mean "in a way that would make ANYONE feel like the female parts are being stimulated and not like a males parts are being stimulated" THAT would be too stereotyping for me....

Someone once said when I make love to a male IDed person I may touch their parts... but I dont touch them in the same way as I would or have touched females. I thought that was easy to understand without graphic details.

*** For graphic details see my next post under my erotica lol
__________________
Stay Gold.
Dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:10 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018