"Butch" and "Femme" - Truly Antiquated Terms or More Marginalization?

Cyclopea · 12-28-2009, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

I am a Stone Butch. Feminizing touch does not factor in at all for me. I am a masculine female (butch). The way someone touches me is not going to make me feel more or less masculine or feminine. I am a Stone Butch Lesbian because that is how I am wired and what feels good to me and what gives me pleasure. I have my own boundaries, likes and dislikes when it comes to sex just like everyone else. There aren't any particular sex acts that qualify or disqualify me to be a lesbian. Being a Stone Butch doesn't disqualify me to be a lesbian either.

I am quite confused about the female on female sex. Unless you are transitioned or consider yourself to have a male body, don't you have a female body? Don't most of us female bodied people have sex with other female bodied people? This is a Lesbian/Queer website and community, right?

I don't know what "feminizing touch" is either.

Are there forms of touch that magically confer masculinity or femininity on the recipient?
What would be a form of masculinizing touch or feminizing touch?
Inquiring minds want to know!

Dragonfly · 12-28-2009, 08:21 PM

Feminizing Touch
Does that mean "in a way that reminds you that you are female born"? I mean does that describe the way your "bits" are stimulated? To use Selenay's term for them I once saw and stole from her recently cause its cute.

I do see a difference in technique... and have made love differently to a man than to a woman. See what I mean by terms that would be less confusing? If you mean "in a way that would make ANYONE feel like the female parts are being stimulated and not like a males parts are being stimulated" THAT would be too stereotyping for me....

Someone once said when I make love to a male IDed person I may touch their parts... but I dont touch them in the same way as I would or have touched females. I thought that was easy to understand without graphic details.

*** For graphic details see my next post under my erotica lol

Gemme · 12-28-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

I don't know what "feminizing touch" is either.

Are there forms of touch that magically confer masculinity or femininity on the recipient?
What would be a form of masculinizing touch or feminizing touch?
Inquiring minds want to know!

For someone that does not identify with their female anatomy, touching their chest as one would touch the breasts of a female-identified person is an example of feminizing touch.

Yes, some touches are magical...both good and bad...for the recipient.

apretty · 12-28-2009, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

I don't know what "feminizing touch" is either.

Are there forms of touch that magically confer masculinity or femininity on the recipient?
What would be a form of masculinizing touch or feminizing touch?
Inquiring minds want to know!

Part 1

(warning: below are some outrageous examples used in attempt to discuss what it is to sexually 'feminize'. cringe-worthy, read with caution)

i asked my ever-insightful partner if he feels as though there are touches that are *feminizing* and if so what they might be. he couldn't really come up with one, so i offered, 'what if i said i was going to 'finger bang' you?' which got an eyeroll and a, 'you know i don't like that' so i asked, 'why? is it feminizing?' and he said, 'no, i'm just not into it' so, i continued, 'what if i went over and did a 'motorboat' on your chest-area?' and he laughed, 'i'd laugh' i persisted, 'would you get mad? would you think it was feminizing?' he explained, 'if you did that i know you'd be joking' (i wouldn't do that, btw) again i asked, 'is it feminizing?' and he's patient so he said, 'no, not feminizing, we just have been together long enough for me to know what you like and for you to know what i like...' so, of course i persisted, 'what if i said i wanted to suck your hot wet pussy?' again, he didn't find *any* of my examples as much 'feminizing' as absurd. i think i'm concluding that i can't 'feminize' what isn't feminine and attempting to wouldn't be what either of us is about. (additionally, i did try to discover WHY it is that he doesn't like a certain, 'sensation' (ones that i do) but was without success beyond, 'i just don't')

Part 2

also, i don't believe in stone femme (unless you define stone femme as someone with boundaries regarding touch, of their personal person.) otherwise 'stone femme' just means that someone isn't attracted to who their sleeping with--which is cool, i don't judge--but lets get on the same page, already.

Part 3

i'm reading, 'nickel and dimed' and i'm pretty sure it has me interested in conducting covert social research.

Cyclopea · 12-28-2009, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

Part 1

(warning: below are some outrageous examples used in attempt to discuss what it is to sexually 'feminize'. cringe-worthy, read with caution)

i asked my ever-insightful partner if he feels as though there are touches that are *feminizing* and if so what they might be. he couldn't really come up with one, so i offered, 'what if i said i was going to 'finger bang' you?' which got an eyeroll and a, 'you know i don't like that' so i asked, 'why? is it feminizing?' and he said, 'no, i'm just not into it' so, i continued, 'what if i went over and did a 'motorboat' on your chest-area?' and he laughed, 'i'd laugh' i persisted, 'would you get mad? would you think it was feminizing?' he explained, 'if you did that i know you'd be joking' (i wouldn't do that, btw) again i asked, 'is it feminizing?' and he's patient so he said, 'no, not feminizing, we just have been together long enough for me to know what you like and for you to know what i like...' so, of course i persisted, 'what if i said i wanted to suck your hot wet pussy?' again, he didn't find *any* of my examples as much 'feminizing' as absurd. i think i'm concluding that i can't 'feminize' what isn't feminine and attempting to wouldn't be what either of us is about. (additionally, i did try to discover WHY it is that he doesn't like a certain, 'sensation' (ones that i do) but was without success beyond, 'i just don't')

Part 2

also, i don't believe in stone femme (unless you define stone femme as someone with boundaries regarding touch, of their personal person.) otherwise 'stone femme' just means that someone isn't attracted to who their sleeping with--which is cool, i don't judge--but lets get on the same page, already.

Part 3

i'm reading, 'nickel and dimed' and i'm pretty sure it has me interested in conducting covert social research.

OK I just gotta ask- what is "motorboating"?
Concerned I may be missing out on something here! Help a butch sista out!

Linus · 12-28-2009, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

OK I just gotta ask- what is "motorboating"?
Concerned I may be missing out on something here! Help a butch sista out!

Uh... place face between partners breasts, move face from side to side while either yelling or making "motorboat" sounds..

Cyclopea · 12-29-2009, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Uh... place face between partners breasts, move face from side to side while either yelling or making "motorboat" sounds..

wtf? I'm assuming you jest!
Hilarious guess tho....
You ARE joking, right? Right???

Linus · 12-29-2009, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

wtf? I'm assuming you jest!
Hilarious guess tho....
You ARE joking, right? Right???

No.. not joking. K actually likes it and it does add fun and giggles to an even more enjoyable morning/afternoon/evening

Cyclopea · 12-29-2009, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

yes, that would be it

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

No.. not joking. K actually likes it and it does add fun and giggles to an even more enjoyable morning/afternoon/evening

Oh MY GAY!
Why have I never heard of this?!?
I have never been motorboated, and suddenly I feel as if I've never been loved at all!
*placing motorboating ad on craigslist*
That is TOO funny!!!

apretty · 12-29-2009, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Uh... place face between partners breasts, move face from side to side while either yelling or making "motorboat" sounds..

yes, that would be it

Toughy · 12-29-2009, 10:01 AM

see this is what I dont get..........

All of us suspend reality and believe a penis shaped dildo is actually a real live cock.....butch cock. I know for myself when I strap on it's my cock. A blowjob I can feel on this detachable butch cock because that butch cock is real in my mind and her mind.

I also have had my clit be a clit and my clit has also been a cock. It all depends on what's going on (energy wise) between me and the femme in my (or her) bed. She can suck my clit or suck my cock. Whichever it is is real in my mind and her mind.

Sometimes suspending reality is (in my mind) part and parcel of this erotic dance called butch/femme.

I also know that my sexual boundaries are different with every femme I have ever been with. I have had what is typically thought of as stone relationships as well as relationships where all parts are accessible all the time. And relationships that fall in the middle. As I said my sexuality is pretty fluid.

I'm done with this derail.

oh...........frisky..........I'm not offended in any way........takes a lot more than this to offend me.

SuperFemme · 12-29-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy

see this is what I dont get..........

All of us suspend reality and believe a penis shaped dildo is actually a real live cock.....butch cock. I know for myself when I strap on it's my cock. A blowjob I can feel on this detachable butch cock because that butch cock is real in my mind and her mind.

I also have had my clit be a clit and my clit has also been a cock. It all depends on what's going on (energy wise) between me and the femme in my (or her) bed. She can suck my clit or suck my cock. Whichever it is is real in my mind and her mind.

Sometimes suspending reality is (in my mind) part and parcel of this erotic dance called butch/femme.

I also know that my sexual boundaries are different with every femme I have ever been with. I have had what is typically thought of as stone relationships as well as relationships where all parts are accessible all the time. And relationships that fall in the middle. As I said my sexuality is pretty fluid.

I'm done with this derail.

oh...........frisky..........I'm not offended in any way........takes a lot more than this to offend me.

Toughy said blowjob. <insert beavis and butthead laugh here>

Apocalipstic · 01-02-2010, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy

see this is what I dont get..........

All of us suspend reality and believe a penis shaped dildo is actually a real live cock.....butch cock. I know for myself when I strap on it's my cock. A blowjob I can feel on this detachable butch cock because that butch cock is real in my mind and her mind.

I also have had my clit be a clit and my clit has also been a cock. It all depends on what's going on (energy wise) between me and the femme in my (or her) bed. She can suck my clit or suck my cock. Whichever it is is real in my mind and her mind.

Sometimes suspending reality is (in my mind) part and parcel of this erotic dance called butch/femme.

I also know that my sexual boundaries are different with every femme I have ever been with. I have had what is typically thought of as stone relationships as well as relationships where all parts are accessible all the time. And relationships that fall in the middle. As I said my sexuality is pretty fluid.

I'm done with this derail.

oh...........frisky..........I'm not offended in any way........takes a lot more than this to offend me.

That, except for I have the dick.

Toughy · 01-02-2010, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

That, except for I have the dick.

I have always wondered how a femme relates to her dick/cock. It can't be the same as the way a butch relates to her/hys cock.....or can it?

anyway that would be a total derail and doesn't require an answer.....

Gemme · 12-29-2009, 12:06 AM

apretty, I really enjoy your pov most of the time, but I have to admit I find it a bit dismissive to an entire group of femmes (myself included) to say you don't believe in Stone Femmes, with the exception of one kind.

Well, Hell...I can't tell anyone what to believe in or not, so I'm kind of stumped as to how to approach you on this. Everyone's free to their opinon, of course, and that's yours but as someone who was effectively tossed aside into the "make believe" pile, I have to say that I do, indeed, exist and I do not fall into the definition that you carry for Stone Femmes.

I am respectful of my partner's boundaries without personally having the 'no fly' zones that one may typically associate with Stones and I am actually VERY attracted to who I sleep with....when I can get him close enough to do so.

apretty · 12-29-2009, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

apretty, I really enjoy your pov most of the time, but I have to admit I find it a bit dismissive to an entire group of femmes (myself included) to say you don't believe in Stone Femmes, with the exception of one kind.

sorry, Gemme, no offense meant.

Gemme · 12-29-2009, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

sorry, Gemme, no offense meant.

I figured as much, as I've read you for years now, but just wanted to put it out there that we do exist.

PapaC · 12-29-2009, 02:19 AM

man there sure would be a hell of a lot of chest hairs to navigate around if someone were to "motorboat" my breasts(ticles). just sayin'

<giggle>

Carry on!

This drive by brought to you by,

Bob · 01-02-2010, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

Part 1

('what if i said i was going to 'finger bang' you?'

Maybe E'd like it better coming from Eric Cartman:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O37DFSa7fs"]YouTube- SOUTH PARK-FINGERBANG[/ame]

apretty · 01-02-2010, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob

Maybe E'd like it better coming from Eric Cartman:

YouTube- SOUTH PARK-FINGERBANG

dear chef period-casserole,

shouldn't you be working instead of causing dissent?

12-28-2009, 08:21 PM	#2
Dragonfly Member How Do You Identify?: Queersexual Female Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: smiling real big Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: My Own House Illinois Posts: 330 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 871 Thanked 346 Times in 151 Posts Rep Power: 645438	Feminizing Touch Feminizing Touch Does that mean "in a way that reminds you that you are female born"? I mean does that describe the way your "bits" are stimulated? To use Selenay's term for them I once saw and stole from her recently cause its cute. I do see a difference in technique... and have made love differently to a man than to a woman. See what I mean by terms that would be less confusing? If you mean "in a way that would make ANYONE feel like the female parts are being stimulated and not like a males parts are being stimulated" THAT would be too stereotyping for me.... Someone once said when I make love to a male IDed person I may touch their parts... but I dont touch them in the same way as I would or have touched females. I thought that was easy to understand without graphic details. *** For graphic details see my next post under my erotica lol __________________ Stay Gold.

12-29-2009, 12:06 AM	#15
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,907 Times in 25,665 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	apretty, I really enjoy your pov most of the time, but I have to admit I find it a bit dismissive to an entire group of femmes (myself included) to say you don't believe in Stone Femmes, with the exception of one kind. Well, Hell...I can't tell anyone what to believe in or not, so I'm kind of stumped as to how to approach you on this. Everyone's free to their opinon, of course, and that's yours but as someone who was effectively tossed aside into the "make believe" pile, I have to say that I do, indeed, exist and I do not fall into the definition that you carry for Stone Femmes. I am respectful of my partner's boundaries without personally having the 'no fly' zones that one may typically associate with Stones and I am actually VERY attracted to who I sleep with....when I can get him close enough to do so. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

12-29-2009, 02:19 AM	#18
PapaC Member How Do You Identify?: FTM-Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west coast Posts: 214 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 412 Thanked 486 Times in 111 Posts Rep Power: 1281638	man there sure would be a hell of a lot of chest hairs to navigate around if someone were to "motorboat" my breasts(ticles). just sayin' <giggle> Carry on! This drive by brought to you by, __________________ -PapaC aka bootstraptechguy

12-29-2009, 10:01 AM	#11
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,654 Times in 1,523 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	see this is what I dont get.......... All of us suspend reality and believe a penis shaped dildo is actually a real live cock.....butch cock. I know for myself when I strap on it's my cock. A blowjob I can feel on this detachable butch cock because that butch cock is real in my mind and her mind. I also have had my clit be a clit and my clit has also been a cock. It all depends on what's going on (energy wise) between me and the femme in my (or her) bed. She can suck my clit or suck my cock. Whichever it is is real in my mind and her mind. Sometimes suspending reality is (in my mind) part and parcel of this erotic dance called butch/femme. I also know that my sexual boundaries are different with every femme I have ever been with. I have had what is typically thought of as stone relationships as well as relationships where all parts are accessible all the time. And relationships that fall in the middle. As I said my sexuality is pretty fluid. I'm done with this derail. oh...........frisky..........I'm not offended in any way........takes a lot more than this to offend me.