7 Rules for Building Safer/Saner Online Communities

JustJo · 04-18-2011, 08:30 PM

<--- putting my hand in the air as one who has been completely and totally deceived and suckered in by an online con artist.

Thank you June....and also to you Jennifer for sharing your story. I spent several years all caught up in the drama of someone who turned out to be a pathological liar (and, no....not on this site). I cringe at how many hours I spent talking, listening, worrying....I sent gifts (not hugely expensive, but still)...and then, when we finally did meet in person, bought into the excuses about why I drove for 4 hours each way, when they could only sit and talk for an hour or 2.

Yes, we all have trouble in our lives at times or issues we're working through, but constant drama or stories that sound on the verge of unbelievable are a huge red flag. And, I believe, that most of these people are damn good at spotting the "soft touch" who will feel compelled to help. If someone is reaching out to you....and avoiding the more level-headed or "hard nosed" folks...there's probably a reason.

Don't be afraid to stalk, to ask others, and to doubt. It doesn't make you a bad person...it means you're acting sensibly.

I believe that you can make friends, have community...even meet a wonderful partner online....but I'd say go slow...and pay attention.

Gemme · 04-18-2011, 09:03 PM

<--formerly suckered but currently unsuckered

04-18-2011, 08:30 PM	#1
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	<--- putting my hand in the air as one who has been completely and totally deceived and suckered in by an online con artist. Thank you June....and also to you Jennifer for sharing your story. I spent several years all caught up in the drama of someone who turned out to be a pathological liar (and, no....not on this site). I cringe at how many hours I spent talking, listening, worrying....I sent gifts (not hugely expensive, but still)...and then, when we finally did meet in person, bought into the excuses about why I drove for 4 hours each way, when they could only sit and talk for an hour or 2. Yes, we all have trouble in our lives at times or issues we're working through, but constant drama or stories that sound on the verge of unbelievable are a huge red flag. And, I believe, that most of these people are damn good at spotting the "soft touch" who will feel compelled to help. If someone is reaching out to you....and avoiding the more level-headed or "hard nosed" folks...there's probably a reason. Don't be afraid to stalk, to ask others, and to doubt. It doesn't make you a bad person...it means you're acting sensibly. I believe that you can make friends, have community...even meet a wonderful partner online....but I'd say go slow...and pay attention. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

04-18-2011, 09:03 PM	#2
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	<--formerly suckered but currently unsuckered __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.