Single FTM's & Femme's

[DomnNC]

Originally Posted by T D

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

Hi TD,

I can so totally relate to Chaz's wondering about who would love a man without a penis. I've not transitioned for personal reasons but that doesn't make me less of a man. I've known since I was 5 years old that I was in the wrong body. I know who I am, without a doubt, I know I am a man, trapped within. I've often wondered since my wife died how or if I'd ever find another woman who would totally accept me and not throw it back in my face whenever times got difficult. I was totally horrified when his girlfriend said yes she does throw it in his face when they are arguing at times, how totally callous and cold is that? She's not accepted him for who he is in my opinion, if she has she would have never done that. My wife did it to me once very early in our relationship, she saw how it totally devastated me to hear her say that, it just about killed her inside, how it killed me a little inside and she couldn't/wouldn't stop apologizing for it for a year or better. We got passed it and she never did it again. She died loving me for who I truly was, I often wonder if I'll ever have that again, find someone who can love with that total depth of understanding.

Being a man has nothing to do with what is on your chest, what is between your legs, being a man is what is inside, what is in your head, what is in your your heart, what is in your very soul. Those of us who are transgendered know this fully. It's hard to get someone else to understand that without thinking you've lost your mind. I can't tell you the number of times someone has had an aha moment with me and proclaimed "Omg You're such a man!", well, duh!! lol.

As far as being willing to spend the rest of your life alone with transitioning, I think the same can be said if you don't especially if you're unwilling to be with someone who doesn't acknowledge who you are within and treat you as such.

As you said very thought provoking material TD and I wish you the very best on your journey. I hope you don't have to live the rest of your life unpartnered, that would truly be sad but I have a feeling you won't, again my very best for you and your future.