Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[swan]

Dear Butches,

I have to be honest. I am a very socially inept femme. I also tend to be rather shy in person, klutzy and am prone to say the stupidest things when I'm nervous. Basically, I'm a geek so I tend to act like a real dork on a first date. Or ten.

While appreciate that many Butches like to take a girl out for a fancy dinner on a first date, I'm already nervous and afraid. I'm not comfortable with formalish dinners when I'm out with someone I've known for years or years and honestly, I'd be so intimidated that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on you. So may I suggest dinners at Chez Snooty wait for later in the relationship.

I like a nice, casual dinner for a first date, where the food is good and local, and the dress is nicer than usual, but you don't have to wear heels and sparklies. That way, I can concentrate on you. Please order first, so that I can have a guideline as per finances. I will probably choose something a little less expensive than yourself. Just go with it please. If you want to order for me, that's fine, but ask me what I want first. Then you can be all suave and debonair and say "and the lady will have..." If you don't want, that's cool too.

I can't dance. I'm not kidding. I never learned to dance with another person, girls just don't do that in my culture. (No, I didn't go to prom.) If we go somewhere to dance, I'd prefer a smaller venue than a big club. I'm not big on going to movies on first dates because again, I'm there for you. Not for the latest blockbuster.

The best first dates that I've had have been totally non-traditional. One nice Butch told me to bring my camera and jacket and wear comfortable shoes. She took me to a State Park where we rode the tram to the top, and walked backed down, taking pictures, looking for wild life and flowers and talking. She provided the munchies, and the bottle water. On our next date, I took her to the Botanical Gardens, where I bought lunch at the cafe after we spent a few hours in the butterfly aviary. Sometimes it's my turn to "host" the date, and my turn to pay. Another Butch got passes to an art museum that I'd never be brave enough to go to myself. It was awesome.

I like a well dressed Butch with good hygiene, but note that well-dressed doesn't equal "lookee at all my designer duds!". Be neat, be clean, be tidy. I absolutely will NOT ever buy any clothing with a huge designer label. I don't care about Coach bags. Tommy Hilfiger puts his initials on everything. I don't wear their clothes. Or any other label that well, labells their clothing. So flashing a label is not gonna impress me. I'm a pain that way.

I'm okay with a goodnight kiss. I don't like kissing on my front porch though. Inviting you in for a bit on a first date does not mean it's time for awesome sex! It means that the date went well, I'm not ready to say goodnight yet, and while there's definately a goodnight kiss in store, I'm probably not going to want to neck on the sofa for an hour. I just don't do that.

I will generally tell my close friends and relatives that I'm going on a date and my ringer will be turned off. They will not call me unless it's an emergency. Please have the same respect for me. Be nice to the waiters and servers. Don't be stingy with the tip. Also, if I act like a real dork, please remember that I'm nervous and maybe give me another chance.

Um, I think that's all for now... I'll probably think of more to add later. I hope no-one's offended. I didn't mean to be rude, I was just giving this femme's opinion.

[Star Anise]

Originally Posted by Invictus

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters...

The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray.

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt.

Again, I regret having offended anyone.

Who the bloody hell have you been dating????

[imperfect_cupcake]

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Who the bloody hell have you been dating????

possibly someone like me. It's a good thing there's a match for everyone. Inks and I fart loudy and laugh. belch and laugh. fart on each other's legs in bed to get revenge. And when were first dating she said "oh I can't take you hand, " as I was reaching for it "I've got snot on it." and then wiped it on some grass.

But that's inki. and I love her for all of it. she's actually incredibly charming otherwise she couldn't get away with all of the above.

<--- femme that smokes, farts, belches and swears like fuck.

that's not to everyone's taste. but vive la differance and there a pepper to everyone's salt shaker.


edit to add: just an FYI, some of the girls said "be a gentleman" so I don't think there's anything wrong with a similar request from someone else. Perhaps wrong thread, but the request was not outta line, imo.

[swan]

Originally Posted by swan

I'm okay with a goodnight kiss. I don't like kissing on my front porch though. Inviting you in for a bit on a first date does not mean it's time for awesome sex! It means that the date went well, I'm not ready to say goodnight yet, and while there's definately a goodnight kiss in store, I'm probably not going to want to neck on the sofa for an hour. I just don't do that.

I'm quoting myself to elaborate... Neckin' on the sofa may well occur on later dates! It's just not a first date thing for me.