Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[*Anya*]

Many of us growing up had that shit drilled into our heads: girls have to wear dresses-not pants; cover your knees; sit up straight; act with decorum at all times (no laughing too loud, only lady-like giggles allowed), etc. It is a button-pusher for me, to be told to act like a lady whatever the heck that means!

Using good manners, well that is another thing. Anyone with manners doesn't belch or worse on a date with someone you are not intimately involved with already! I used to read Miss Manners regularly & know to act appropriately on a date or whatever social situation I am in.

How to be treated on a date: use human good manners (Applies to all genders); don't get drunk- more than one or two (tops) glasses of wine/beer on a date or I am going to worry you need to be in recovery. Don't whip out a joint and tell me how much you love pot (see glass of wine above) or pills, or whatever your drug if choice is.

Just common courtesy, that's all for all of us, how about that?

[Martina]

Because people exchange versions of their life stories on these things, i have had folks expect me to relate my sexual history to them. They casually will ask me about long term relationships etc. i can see why someone might want to know that info before they get too involved with someone, but it's not info that people are entitled to. i am so shocked when i get these questions. i deflect them semi-politely, and the sensible date will get the point.

[girl_dee]

I've been thinking about this thread, and even though it's fluff there is so much to learning about people based on dates.

I saw a show once where they did *productive* dating.. the couples that were unadvised shared small talk, sillyness and basic awkwardness around each other, basically at the end of the night knew nothing much about each other.

The couples that were advised had a much more *productive * date. There were advised to ask real questions around conversations that most would never ask normally. For instance, religion, politics, family, children. If one of the couple never ever wants kids and you do, why would you want to have a second date if you are looking for a future?

I guess it all depends on what you are looking for.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

I've been thinking about this thread, and even though it's fluff there is so much to learning about people based on dates.

I actually don't consider this a fluff thread. I put it in the femme zone and not the "fluffy stuff" because I do take this seriously. What femmes want is important to me, and imho, it should be to anyone who wants to date a femme.

[Apocalipstic]

I am not a lady but I can play one if needed. lol. Please just be yourself on a date. Yes, I know how to act no matter what the situation, but would rather relax and get to know you.

Please do not bring flowers on a first date. Yes I adore flowers, but they will scare me off. Wait for a couple of dates at least please. Cool is key. lol.

If you must text or use cell phone, make it quick.

Please do pull out a joint, I will be pleased as punch!

Please be clean.

A good hair cut or style is always appreciated.

I do enjoy nice manners and a smile. But remember I would way rather fuck in the back of a cab than be treated like your grandmother.

I do enjoy shows, dinner, symphony etc, but I enjoy hanging out just as much.

As far as money? I don't care about it...I can make my own. If you think your car is too dirty, we can take mine.

Dating need not be expensive! It should be fun and easy!

Oh and don't play too hard to get, if you want to be gotten.

Respect me as a person, not as a Femme.

and

No games please. I bore with them easily.

(All of this applies no matter who does the asking out and paying)

[gaea]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I do enjoy nice manners and a smile. But remember I would way rather fuck in the back of a cab than be treated like your grandmother.

i love this...

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Anya/Georgia

Many of us growing up had that shit drilled into our heads: girls have to wear dresses-not pants; cover your knees; sit up straight; act with decorum at all times (no laughing too loud, only lady-like giggles allowed), etc. It is a button-pusher for me, to be told to act like a lady whatever the heck that means!

Using good manners, well that is another thing. Anyone with manners doesn't belch or worse on a date with someone you are not intimately involved with already! I used to read Miss Manners regularly & know to act appropriately on a date or whatever social situation I am in.

How to be treated on a date: use human good manners (Applies to all genders); don't get drunk- more than one or two (tops) glasses of wine/beer on a date or I am going to worry you need to be in recovery. Don't whip out a joint and tell me how much you love pot (see glass of wine above) or pills, or whatever your drug if choice is.

Just common courtesy, that's all for all of us, how about that?

I think for me there is a big difference between expecting someone to act like a lady, and treating that person like a lady. Good manners for me mean trying to make someone feel as comfortable as possible, and show appreciation. If I open a door for you, it is not because I don't think you are perfectly capable of doing so yourself; I do it to show my appreciation and respect.