A look at Polygamy - Future Family Model

[Martina]

i am poly, but i am a submissive to both of the other people in the relationship. They are married to one another. They are both women, one butch and one femme.

i am not like Sassy in that i am not another partner. i also don't live with them.

Poly has been good for me. My last two relationships were poly. Poly works when the relationships work, i find. Just like any other relationship. If you are getting your needs met and are having a good time, the poly drama is usually not that distracting. If things aren't working out, it's just one more damn thing to make it miserable.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Martina

i am poly, but i am a submissive to both of the other people in the relationship. They are married to one another. They are both women, one butch and one femme.

i am not like Sassy in that i am not another partner. i also don't live with them.

Poly has been good for me. My last two relationships were poly. Poly works when the relationships work, i find. Just like any other relationship. If you are getting your needs met and are having a good time, the poly drama is usually not that distracting. If things aren't working out, it's just one more damn thing to make it miserable.

Does being in the relationship with the married couple meet your needs? What would be ideal for you?

The pagans have a great hand fasting phrase- "Love as thy will until you love no more." IN essence it really means until the passion leaves. But IMO perhaps love is always present. Does sex create a deeper love bond or are we simply romanticizing lust and passion? Because too often the passion goes and soon after the love seems to dissolve.

I love the idea of communal living but I'm unsure if I can do it. For me to share space with almost anyone, at this a point in my life, I must share the same values. All relationships have a meeting of the minds even if its clouded by passion at times. Its when you sudden realize you have nothing else in common that you step back and reevaluate the relationship.

I wonder if people have poly type arrangements without sex? It seems to me this would be an intense journey and one full of commitment.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by Sachita

Does being in the relationship with the married couple meet your needs? What would be ideal for you?

It does. i frequently seek out a position as the second. i am an only child and a crone. i need my independence. Ironically, this gives me that. i also get to love and devote myself to an appreciative Other. Others in this case. Ma'am and Sir come before most things. But i have a life separate from them. A happy life of work and friends. i kinda need that.

When i was partnered, i'd get into these codep relationships in which i'd give and give and my girlfriend would suck me dry. In D/s, i get to devote myself to another, worship Them, do almost anything for Them, and They make sure i don't get lost in that. They don't take it all as some of my lovers have done. They make sure i have a healthy balanced life.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Martina

It does. i frequently seek out a position as the second. i am an only child and a crone. i need my independence. Ironically, this gives me that. i also get to love and devote myself to an appreciative Other. Others in this case. Ma'am and Sir come before most things. But i have a life separate from them. A happy life of work and friends. i kinda need that.

When i was partnered, i'd get into these codep relationships in which i'd give and give and my girlfriend would suck me dry. In D/s, i get to devote myself to another, worship Them, do almost anything for Them, and They make sure i don't get lost in that. They don't take it all as some of my lovers have done. They make sure i have a healthy balanced life.

You know that makes sense to me. I also think that is why so many people get caught up in long distance online relationships. I'm sure its the original intent but they can have all the feelings of love, passion, devotion and belong without the day to day responsibility of a relationship.

One of the main reasons I feel I am not in a relationship is that I don't want to give up my "space" and the truth is that I can spend days a lone. You can be in the same house with me and you may not see me or know I'm there. In my past D/s relationships I felt drained. As much as I enjoy the dynamic of D/s I step back because of this. I often wondered if poly relationships could be a solution for this and if so would it make it impossible for two people to fully bond and connect. Does that make sense?

I feel that it will take a special person(s) for me to share space with. They would need to be mature, open-minded, emotionally sound and also enjoy their space.

[Martina]

i feel pretty bonded and connected. As time goes by, more and more. It's different than a partnership. Some things are more intense or are present that may not be there with a partner. Depends on the relationship. Some things aren't.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Sachita

You know that makes sense to me. I also think that is why so many people get caught up in long distance online relationships. I'm sure its the original intent but they can have all the feelings of love, passion, devotion and belong without the day to day responsibility of a relationship.

One of the main reasons I feel I am not in a relationship is that I don't want to give up my "space" and the truth is that I can spend days a lone. You can be in the same house with me and you may not see me or know I'm there. In my past D/s relationships I felt drained. As much as I enjoy the dynamic of D/s I step back because of this. I often wondered if poly relationships could be a solution for this and if so would it make it impossible for two people to fully bond and connect. Does that make sense?

I feel that it will take a special person(s) for me to share space with. They would need to be mature, open-minded, emotionally sound and also enjoy their space.

If you enjoy your own space poly could be a challenge if living under the same roof.. is that what you would want...

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Martina

It does. i frequently seek out a position as the second. i am an only child and a crone. i need my independence. Ironically, this gives me that. i also get to love and devote myself to an appreciative Other. Others in this case. Ma'am and Sir come before most things. But i have a life separate from them. A happy life of work and friends. i kinda need that.

When i was partnered, i'd get into these codep relationships in which i'd give and give and my girlfriend would suck me dry. In D/s, i get to devote myself to another, worship Them, do almost anything for Them, and They make sure i don't get lost in that. They don't take it all as some of my lovers have done. They make sure i have a healthy balanced life.

I could not have said this better myself, thank you.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Martina

In D/s, i get to devote myself to another, worship Them, do almost anything for Them, and They make sure i don't get lost in that. They don't take it all as some of my lovers have done. They make sure i have a healthy balanced life.

This is the sign of mastery. An artful top can monitor the journey and has the gift of perception. You can't take power unless you are powerful. You can't take the essence of someone unless you truly earn it.