Breaking up

[Leigh]

I know bad the hurt is right after you break up with someone, especially if you really love the person and thought that they were supposed to be your forever. It takes time for things to heal, and its not an easy road, but it certainly does get better and the heart does mend ~ even if it doesnt seem like it now, it will get better that I promise each of you :-)

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Matthew

I know bad the hurt is right after you break up with someone, especially if you really love the person and thought that they were supposed to be your forever. It takes time for things to heal, and its not an easy road, but it certainly does get better and the heart does mend ~ even if it doesnt seem like it now, it will get better that I promise each of you :-)

That.

The three years before my current partner were probably the worst of my life. Hurt, lonely, rejected, betrayed. I sought solace in a new relationship only to be abused.

Then out of nowhere this beautiful love fell out of the sky and we've just cemented it by getting married!!!!!

So it does get better ...eventually

[ruby_woo]

I feel bad blubbering all over the forum but I honestly don't where else to go. 8+ years is ending. I was 20 years old when we met. I'm now 29. I moved to Vancouver from San Francisco to be with her. I don't have friends here, my family is in Ohio.

I really thought we were going to be together forever. We were supposed to go to Disneyland, spend my 30th birthday together, and now it's not happening and I still can't believe it. We have to move out, obviously, find separate apartments. I don't even know how to find apartments in Vancouver. And how do you divide up 8 years worth of stuff together?

I love her, and she loves me, but says she can't give me what I need, she's changed, it'll be better for me. I don't know how something that hurts so badly can be better, but OK. I have a headache from crying so much. She still tries to hug and comfort me when I'm crying, but that's going to have to stop, obviously.

This sucks. I have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I love her, and she loves me, but says she can't give me what I need, she's changed, it'll be better for me. I don't know how something that hurts so badly can be better, but OK. I have a headache from crying so much. She still tries to hug and comfort me when I'm crying, but that's going to have to stop, obviously.

This sucks. I have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

It does suck and please don't feel bad for looking for help from other people (((hugs)))

When my ex dumped me (5 years, new country, marriage certificate) she said 'You will thank me for this one day'. Of course I was devastated! She was leaving me while making out that she was doing this for me??

Ironically, though I doubted she really knew at the time, she was right. It took over 3 years but now I am in a much better and happier place, in a much better and more satisfying relationship.

You WILL get through this, purely as you have no choice. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving, keep doing what you have to do. It will hurt for a very long time, but one day you will wake up and realise you've done it, you've managed to move on.

Until then, try to look after yourself xxx

[kittygrrl]

so sorry this is happening to you..it's like losing a part of you and the immensity of that...no one can truly understand..unless you've been through it..I suggest don't prolong the pain get out as soon as you can..stuff (be damned) every piece will only serve to remind you what you've lost ..so everything you decide to keep, will remind you everytime you see or use it..do you really need that? my advise (in this situation) sell everything you can, give the rest away, and travel light (out of this toxic situation)..there is life after this but it's going to take awhile before you can recognize it and feel safe again.

[ruby_woo]

Thanks you guys. I guess I'm going to have to start looking for a place to live, find movers, etc. Will need to take money out of my savings to pay for it, gah.

After hearing the news, everyone has been telling us Oh, maybe you just need a break for awhile. She's said herself she doesn't know if this is the right decision or not, but I can't really just wait around for someone to figure out if they want to be with me or not, that sucks.

This is legit the shittiest I have ever felt.

[Miss July]

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

Thanks you guys. I guess I'm going to have to start looking for a place to live, find movers, etc. Will need to take money out of my savings to pay for it, gah.

After hearing the news, everyone has been telling us Oh, maybe you just need a break for awhile. She's said herself she doesn't know if this is the right decision or not, but I can't really just wait around for someone to figure out if they want to be with me or not, that sucks.

This is legit the shittiest I have ever felt.

((((((((((((((((((ruby))))))))))))))))))))))
This is a really hard time for you.......but you are absolutely correct..........you shouldn't be hanging out & waiting to see if some one wants to be with you. You need to tell yourself you deserve better, some one who knows exactly how they feel about you.

I have a shoulder if you need one to cry on or lean on.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

so sorry this is happening to you..it's like losing a part of you and the immensity of that...no one can truly understand..unless you've been through it..I suggest don't prolong the pain get out as soon as you can..stuff (be damned) every piece will only serve to remind you what you've lost ..so everything you decide to keep, will remind you everytime you see or use it..do you really need that? my advise (in this situation) sell everything you can, give the rest away, and travel light (out of this toxic situation)..there is life after this but it's going to take awhile before you can recognize it and feel safe again.

I agree about "stuff"! I've seen friends go thru breakups where they are fighting about "who gets what" or "what was who's" etc etc.. .. to me that is totally craziness! It's only stuff and it can be replaced quickly and easily!

Personally for me, getting back out there, well that took a lot longer!

[homoe]

Originally Posted by homoe

I agree about "stuff"! I've seen friends go thru breakups where they are fighting about "who gets what" or "what was who's" etc etc.. .. to me that is totally craziness! It's only stuff and it can be replaced quickly and easily!

Personally for me, getting back out there, well that took a lot longer!

I can't help it but when I see couples fighting over "stuff" I ALWAYS think about the scene with the wagon wheel coffee table in When Harry Met Sally!