Breaking up

[kittygrrl]

so sorry this is happening to you..it's like losing a part of you and the immensity of that...no one can truly understand..unless you've been through it..I suggest don't prolong the pain get out as soon as you can..stuff (be damned) every piece will only serve to remind you what you've lost ..so everything you decide to keep, will remind you everytime you see or use it..do you really need that? my advise (in this situation) sell everything you can, give the rest away, and travel light (out of this toxic situation)..there is life after this but it's going to take awhile before you can recognize it and feel safe again.

[ruby_woo]

Thanks you guys. I guess I'm going to have to start looking for a place to live, find movers, etc. Will need to take money out of my savings to pay for it, gah.

After hearing the news, everyone has been telling us Oh, maybe you just need a break for awhile. She's said herself she doesn't know if this is the right decision or not, but I can't really just wait around for someone to figure out if they want to be with me or not, that sucks.

This is legit the shittiest I have ever felt.

[Miss July]

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

Thanks you guys. I guess I'm going to have to start looking for a place to live, find movers, etc. Will need to take money out of my savings to pay for it, gah.

After hearing the news, everyone has been telling us Oh, maybe you just need a break for awhile. She's said herself she doesn't know if this is the right decision or not, but I can't really just wait around for someone to figure out if they want to be with me or not, that sucks.

This is legit the shittiest I have ever felt.

((((((((((((((((((ruby))))))))))))))))))))))
This is a really hard time for you.......but you are absolutely correct..........you shouldn't be hanging out & waiting to see if some one wants to be with you. You need to tell yourself you deserve better, some one who knows exactly how they feel about you.

I have a shoulder if you need one to cry on or lean on.

[starryeyes]

I have been going through a nasty break up too over the past month or so. It is so hard. I know I love her, but feelings change for a variety of reasons. It's amazing how in an instant, something so amazing is crushed.

What I have learned is to let the universe, a higher power or whatever lead. When I broke up with my first love, I swore I was *never* going to recover. Now, i hardley think of her.

Everything happens for a reason and yea, it's f***ing miserable but time heals pain and there is someone that is better suited to my needs.

Also, I have learned that dogs are a blessing in a time of loneliness **snuggles**

Good luck sister!!
Starry

[~ocean]

(((( starry ))))) my animals hold allmy secrets I;d like to add .. that there is no right way to break up .. to all who r condisering a break up .. just treat eachother w. empathy and dont disgrace the person who will be left hurting. someone is always left hurting.

[SweetJane]

Starry,
I'm so sorry this has happened! Big hugs, sister!
SweetJane

[ruby_woo]

I'm so thankful I have the Planet right now and you guys are letting me bitch to you, lol.

I just made an appointment with my bank for tomorrow to get some money out of my RSP. Hope to use that money for a deposit on an apartment, maybe I can get something for February 1 so we don't drag this out any longer. Suuuuuucks.

[girl_dee]

Glad you are taking care of you and your heart.

Hugs.

[Vlasta]

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I'm so thankful I have the Planet right now and you guys are letting me bitch to you, lol.

I just made an appointment with my bank for tomorrow to get some money out of my RSP. Hope to use that money for a deposit on an apartment, maybe I can get something for February 1 so we don't drag this out any longer. Suuuuuucks.

Ruby , I am so sorry what are you going through right now . I feel the same way just a different situation . It's my way to bitch and complain and I am sure people are tired to read my posts , but this is my only way to let it out and to be private to certain point . I can imagine how hard it's for you , been there too .
Stay strong and keep bitching as much you want to . I will gladly read your post and send you a little messages through via rep . I was always concerned what people say about me and tried to keep everything off of board , but no longer . If there are people with a perfect life , I am happy for them .
My life has been everything , but not perfect . Money or what do you own it's not so imported when your personal life it's in pieces .
I am wishing you the best way to get through this difficult time

[SoNotHer]

Ruby, I am so sorry you're going through this, but you've set some good things in motion, and that's what matters. Keep taking positive steps and allow yourself to grieve. Many of us have found ourselves sitting in a parked car unable to turn the key to start the car or otherwise immobilized by the loss of something and someone we loved.

Things will continue to get better. I promise. SNH

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I'm so thankful I have the Planet right now and you guys are letting me bitch to you, lol.

I just made an appointment with my bank for tomorrow to get some money out of my RSP. Hope to use that money for a deposit on an apartment, maybe I can get something for February 1 so we don't drag this out any longer. Suuuuuucks.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

so sorry this is happening to you..it's like losing a part of you and the immensity of that...no one can truly understand..unless you've been through it..I suggest don't prolong the pain get out as soon as you can..stuff (be damned) every piece will only serve to remind you what you've lost ..so everything you decide to keep, will remind you everytime you see or use it..do you really need that? my advise (in this situation) sell everything you can, give the rest away, and travel light (out of this toxic situation)..there is life after this but it's going to take awhile before you can recognize it and feel safe again.

I agree about "stuff"! I've seen friends go thru breakups where they are fighting about "who gets what" or "what was who's" etc etc.. .. to me that is totally craziness! It's only stuff and it can be replaced quickly and easily!

Personally for me, getting back out there, well that took a lot longer!

[homoe]

Originally Posted by homoe

I agree about "stuff"! I've seen friends go thru breakups where they are fighting about "who gets what" or "what was who's" etc etc.. .. to me that is totally craziness! It's only stuff and it can be replaced quickly and easily!

Personally for me, getting back out there, well that took a lot longer!

I can't help it but when I see couples fighting over "stuff" I ALWAYS think about the scene with the wagon wheel coffee table in When Harry Met Sally!

[Chad]

Originally Posted by homoe

I can't help it but when I see couples fighting over "stuff" I ALWAYS think about the scene with the wagon wheel coffee table in When Harry Met Sally!

My two cents, If it is not inherited or irreplaceable then it does not matter. Let go and move on.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Chad

My two cents, If it is not inherited or irreplaceable then it does not matter. Let go and move on.

......

[Stone-Butch]

I agree and disagree. When I left my 22 yr relationship I had 3 beautiful animals , two dogs and a cat. All loved very much. I signed our house over to my wife as well as the trailer. I took what was on my back and the rec room furniture. Bed from the guest room , and dressers. So I signed over a three bedroom house, three beautiful animals (did not want to break them up or have them in an apt.). I now have a one bedroom apt. I have no animals and most of all I am not with my loving woman. All gone with the few strokes of a pen. WHY? Cause she was wonderful and deserving so I walked away. I cant get any of these back so yes it was the thing to do but my whole life has changed so it is good to do but it is heartbreaking. End of story.

[cathexis]

Originally Posted by Chad

My two cents, If it is not inherited or irreplaceable then it does not matter. Let go and move on.

What advice have you for situations where one has lost all inheritance and irreplaceable 18th-19th large antique collection as well as all family items incl. photographs and artwork in addition to all my art deco bedroom set, clothing, and maybe (not sure) worse, my home. Mourning daily.

20 years later, I am still reeling from the loss. Psychiatric care, counseling, anti-depressants, and anxiolytics provide no relief from the emotional pain.

I am a physical masochist and can take quite a bit of pain, but this emotional pain has me licked. The tunnel is only black, no steam valves, no relief and no light at the end. I have no pain killers, don't drink, no drugs. The only thread is my Partner who doesn't deal well with emotional issues. Don't get me wrong, She does protect and provide well. I feel physically safe in Her care, but I haven't left the apartment for a year except for doctors appointments. I wake up, watch TV, online is my only contact with the world outside. The world is closing in on me.

[Chad]

Originally Posted by cathexis

What advice have you for situations where one has lost all inheritance and irreplaceable 18th-19th large antique collection as well as all family items incl. photographs and artwork in addition to all my art deco bedroom set, clothing, and maybe (not sure) worse, my home. Mourning daily.

20 years later, I am still reeling from the loss. Psychiatric care, counseling, anti-depressants, and anxiolytics provide no relief from the emotional pain.

I am a physical masochist and can take quite a bit of pain, but this emotional pain has me licked. The tunnel is only black, no steam valves, no relief and no light at the end. I have no pain killers, don't drink, no drugs. The only thread is my Partner who doesn't deal well with emotional issues. Don't get me wrong, She does protect and provide well. I feel physically safe in Her care, but I haven't left the apartment for a year except for doctors appointments. I wake up, watch TV, online is my only contact with the world outside. The world is closing in on me.

I am sorry that you have suffered and that you are still suffering. I hope that your situation improves.

I don't have any personal experience or professional experience in this area. Keep fighting for a better life and reach out to those that can help you.

[Vincent]

Originally Posted by cathexis

What advice have you for situations where one has lost all inheritance and irreplaceable 18th-19th large antique collection as well as all family items incl. photographs and artwork in addition to all my art deco bedroom set, clothing, and maybe (not sure) worse, my home. Mourning daily.

20 years later, I am still reeling from the loss. Psychiatric care, counseling, anti-depressants, and anxiolytics provide no relief from the emotional pain.

I am a physical masochist and can take quite a bit of pain, but this emotional pain has me licked. The tunnel is only black, no steam valves, no relief and no light at the end. I have no pain killers, don't drink, no drugs. The only thread is my Partner who doesn't deal well with emotional issues. Don't get me wrong, She does protect and provide well. I feel physically safe in Her care, but I haven't left the apartment for a year except for doctors appointments. I wake up, watch TV, online is my only contact with the world outside. The world is closing in on me.

For me I have no family contact,and have accepted I will get zero,of the money my Dad left me 30 yrs ago.
I do have my father in my heart.I try not dwell on the past,"sometimes not easy at all"but I keep practicing.I have found happiness,in my music,taking Scout to the beach,my garden,going to the gym,even though it's 3 am to avoid people.
I find it funny,once my life was full of people,but now most people annoy me and talk nonsense anyway.
I wish I could help,but at least I can listen and hear you,some of us are sensitive,that capitalisim has driven us to self contained.Take care

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Chad

My two cents, If it is not inherited or irreplaceable then it does not matter. Let go and move on.

Exactly Chad....stuff can be replaced but finding a person, well that's a bit more trickier!

[Chad]

Originally Posted by homoe

Exactly Chad....stuff can be replaced but finding a person, well that's a bit more trickier!

Oh my goodness how I want out of this thread. Luckily all my stuff is inherited. I wish folks would stop stealing from me. If I had all the money femmes stole from me I could pay off my medical bills.
I am sure they smile knowing they took me for a fool.

They are wrong Chad is no fool. They ruined their reputation and may have a legal problem.