FTM's Attracted to Femmes

sanee66 · 12-28-2011, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew

I have also not been able to find femmes who will seriously look My way and yet I love femmes

<<<looking Matthews way very seriously.

Honestly, and for us femmes that are interested, we cant get anyone to take notice.

Leigh · 12-28-2011, 11:54 PM

I promise you sanee, I am one guy that will *always* look your way

sanee66 · 12-29-2011, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew

I promise you sanee, I am one guy that will *always* look your way

waiting for the look

Leigh · 12-29-2011, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

waiting for the look

**Looks at you from afar, a smile on My face**

Julien · 12-29-2011, 06:18 PM

I thought I would stop by and see what's going on in this thread and introduce myself. I'm Julien and hello to one and all. I hope you are having a great evening.

Quintease · 12-29-2011, 07:08 PM

I too have been accused of being 'too girly' which is freaky as aside from the way I present, there is nothing girly about me, even my husband doesn't think I'm girly! I know some people just don't like long hair and makeup regardless of personality, but others just assumed I would be 'girly' purely based on looks. From the point they clapped eyes on me it was all about the box they thought I fit into, rather than the actual person who was in front of them.

Luckily my FTM loves me as I am and didn't care that I suck at romance and have to be reminded to change the bedsheets..

sanee66 · 12-30-2011, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julien

I thought I would stop by and see what's going on in this thread and introduce myself. I'm Julien and hello to one and all. I hope you are having a great evening.

hello Julien, nice to meet you!!

1ladyface · 12-30-2011, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

Honestly, and for us femmes that are interested, we cant get anyone to take notice.

Sanee, thanks for this. I pass as straight...always. And I'm not really into rainbows or triangles so I'm only visible as queer in queer spaces, and even then only if I have my hand in the back pocket of a lovers carharts.

But I think there have to be some other indicators that other queer folk can pick up on, if they're looking. These are the first few that come to mind:

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
4. being overdressed
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

What do you all think? And what are some of your femme spotting tricks?

And, if i were to ever get up the courage to approach a stranger i was reasonably confident was FTM...how do you guys like to be hit on?

So far i've only ever handed boifolk a note with my phone number. And that's worked but it would be nice to actually connect in that moment rather than getting a text later.

Quintease · 12-30-2011, 07:49 PM

My Gaydar is excellent!

Even now that I'm not in gay clubs so much.

Recently, I was walking down my street (which is pretty gay so you'd expect to see a few lesbians) and a saw a woman. A pretty ordinary woman, long hair, handbag, clothes.. but my eyes grabbed her and said 'Look at that woman'. So I looked and wondered why I was looking, right up until she approached a masculine-looking woman and smiled a shy smile. 'Yay!', I thought 'I can still pick 'em!'.

I did watch for a few more moments just to make sure and yes, they were certainly not just friends.

..just wanted to brag

blush · 12-30-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

Sanee, thanks for this. I pass as straight...always. And I'm not really into rainbows or triangles so I'm only visible as queer in queer spaces, and even then only if I have my hand in the back pocket of a lovers carharts.

But I think there have to be some other indicators that other queer folk can pick up on, if they're looking. These are the first few that come to mind:

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
4. being overdressed
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

What do you all think? And what are some of your femme spotting tricks?

And, if i were to ever get up the courage to approach a stranger i was reasonably confident was FTM...how do you guys like to be hit on?

So far i've only ever handed boifolk a note with my phone number. And that's worked but it would be nice to actually connect in that moment rather than getting a text later.

Why are these indicators of a femme?

The_Lady_Snow · 12-30-2011, 08:25 PM

I gotta be real and say I own nothing vintage, I'm not artsy hell I can't draw a straight line and I'm not sure what over dressed is unless you mean layering...

Miss July · 01-01-2012, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I gotta be real and say I own nothing vintage, I'm not artsy hell I can't draw a straight line and I'm not sure what over dressed is unless you mean layering...

I still lust ya
*Smirk's*

twist of lime · 01-01-2012, 02:25 PM

Soooo, as I understand it, sometimes there are clues and sometimes there are not.

There are many things that could be visual signals and there are many things that are not.
(Signals of the mind, I imagine. *hypnotic eyes)

There are things that are true for one, but not for the next, but no less true and those things do not automatically oust that person from any said group.

People in general are becoming so diverse, it makes it hard to deduce much about any one person beyond what we can see. What I'm saying is that you could see anyone, like any one of us, anywhere in the world and say "This is China", "This is the U.S", "This is Africa", "This is Mexico", "This is Finland", and so on. This does not mean that any one of these people maintain or have interests in traditions specific to that country (and not to say that they don't, either). You may very well find that the person in China and the one in Africa have the same interests as you, less difference, if you will.

Soooo... all that being said, I guess we need to open our mouths and start getting to know one another. To know the truth (and depending on how much you are told, even that can be suspect at times... lol).

Gemme · 12-30-2011, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

Sanee, thanks for this. I pass as straight...always. And I'm not really into rainbows or triangles so I'm only visible as queer in queer spaces, and even then only if I have my hand in the back pocket of a lovers carharts.

But I think there have to be some other indicators that other queer folk can pick up on, if they're looking. These are the first few that come to mind:

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
4. being overdressed
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

What do you all think? And what are some of your femme spotting tricks?

And, if i were to ever get up the courage to approach a stranger i was reasonably confident was FTM...how do you guys like to be hit on?

So far i've only ever handed boifolk a note with my phone number. And that's worked but it would be nice to actually connect in that moment rather than getting a text later.

Were you using these indicators for yourself or were you saying for femmes in general?

I'm confused.

apretty · 12-30-2011, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
.
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

These attributes describe my straightest friend. She also does Burlesque and is beautiful, mid-40s and has an amazing, much-adored and full, shapely ass (*And if you're in SF she'll wax your naughty bits!).

Ebon · 12-30-2011, 09:16 PM

ANNNDDDDD here comes the lesson in gendernomics....*gets a pen and paper to see what the real femmes have to say.*

The_Lady_Snow · 12-30-2011, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ebon

ANNNDDDDD here comes the lesson in gendernomics....*gets a pen and paper to see what the real femmes have to say.*

Ahh see there is no what makes a Femme "real" we just "are" lipstick or no lipstick..

Martina · 12-31-2011, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
4. being overdressed
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

There are a lot of femmes like this. Femme theory used to talk about this as our type, as if we are more performative in our femininity than other women. i disagree that most femmes are like this. i certainly am not. i also disagree that femmes perform femininity in ways that are that different from some straight women. There are some awesome straight women who perform femininity in transgressive ways. Anyway, i know what you are talking about, and i agree it is based in some reality. But i resist the stereotype.

DapperButch · 12-31-2011, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

There are a lot of femmes like this. Femme theory used to talk about this as our type, as if we are more performative in our femininity than other women. i disagree that most femmes are like this. i certainly am not. i also disagree that femmes perform femininity in ways that are that different from some straight women. There are some awesome straight women who perform femininity in transgressive ways. Anyway, i know what you are talking about, and i agree it is based in some reality. But i resist the stereotype.

I just wanted to highlight this post. I concur with all of it!

ruffryder · 12-31-2011, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

What do you all think? And what are some of your femme spotting tricks?

And, if i were to ever get up the courage to approach a stranger i was reasonably confident was FTM...how do you guys like to be hit on?

So far i've only ever handed boifolk a note with my phone number. And that's worked but it would be nice to actually connect in that moment rather than getting a text later.

I'm clueless! LOL I don't know until I'm hit with a 2x4. As for approaching, please do and just say hi and talk about everyday things. Thank you!

12-28-2011, 11:54 PM	#2
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	*I promise you sanee, I am one guy that will always* look your way** __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

12-29-2011, 06:18 PM	#5
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I thought I would stop by and see what's going on in this thread and introduce myself. I'm Julien and hello to one and all. I hope you are having a great evening. __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

12-29-2011, 07:08 PM	#6
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I too have been accused of being 'too girly' which is freaky as aside from the way I present, there is nothing girly about me, even my husband doesn't think I'm girly! I know some people just don't like long hair and makeup regardless of personality, but others just assumed I would be 'girly' purely based on looks. From the point they clapped eyes on me it was all about the box they thought I fit into, rather than the actual person who was in front of them. Luckily my FTM loves me as I am and didn't care that I suck at romance and have to be reminded to change the bedsheets.. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

12-30-2011, 07:49 PM	#9
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	My Gaydar is excellent! Even now that I'm not in gay clubs so much. Recently, I was walking down my street (which is pretty gay so you'd expect to see a few lesbians) and a saw a woman. A pretty ordinary woman, long hair, handbag, clothes.. but my eyes grabbed her and said 'Look at that woman'. So I looked and wondered why I was looking, right up until she approached a masculine-looking woman and smiled a shy smile. 'Yay!', I thought 'I can still pick 'em!'. I did watch for a few more moments just to make sure and yes, they were certainly not just friends. ..just wanted to brag __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

12-30-2011, 08:25 PM	#11
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	I keep thinking I gotta be real and say I own nothing vintage, I'm not artsy hell I can't draw a straight line and I'm not sure what over dressed is unless you mean layering... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

01-01-2012, 02:25 PM	#13
twist of lime Member How Do You Identify?: femme Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: under a red tiled roof Posts: 364 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,223 Thanked 407 Times in 102 Posts Rep Power: 6656175	Soooo, as I understand it, sometimes there are clues and sometimes there are not. There are many things that could be visual signals and there are many things that are not. (Signals of the mind, I imagine. *hypnotic eyes) There are things that are true for one, but not for the next, but no less true and those things do not automatically oust that person from any said group. People in general are becoming so diverse, it makes it hard to deduce much about any one person beyond what we can see. What I'm saying is that you could see anyone, like any one of us, anywhere in the world and say "This is China", "This is the U.S", "This is Africa", "This is Mexico", "This is Finland", and so on. This does not mean that any one of these people maintain or have interests in traditions specific to that country (and not to say that they don't, either). You may very well find that the person in China and the one in Africa have the same interests as you, less difference, if you will. Soooo... all that being said, I guess we need to open our mouths and start getting to know one another. To know the truth (and depending on how much you are told, even that can be suspect at times... lol).

12-30-2011, 09:16 PM	#16
Ebon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: With my souls eyes. Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: lol Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Here Posts: 3,476 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,524 Thanked 11,142 Times in 2,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	ANNNDDDDD here comes the lesson in gendernomics....gets a pen and paper to see what the real femmes have to say. __________________ In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe.