Insecurities; I worry that women won't/don't like me

SelfMadeMan · 03-29-2012, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancer611

I have always, and continue to, attract primarily straight men. Older, younger, whatever. I've been with several women, but it's harder for me to catch their interest when I'm out and about, it seems. Even if I go to a gay bar or LGBT event, butch women may or may not look me over, but don't approach me. I'm not sure if it's because they think I'm straight (is there anything I can wear/do/etc. to show I'm not?), or because I'm just not attractive to them. This has caused me to worry a lot about the future! Any advice/thoughts?

I can only speak for myself, but when I was single and hanging out at the clubs, I sometimes felt awkward going up and asking a woman to dance, or to buy her a drink - for whatever reason. I would have loved for a woman to approach me - and some did, so I would encourage you to try! You could always send a drink over and break the ice that way - or ask someone to dance. Don't be scared to take a chance! Don't judge yourself based on whether or not other people approach you. Be confident in yourself and don't give up

aishah · 03-29-2012, 02:33 PM

i'm extremely shy and terrible at letting people know i'm interested in them, and i have exactly the same problem. *hugs* i'm not sure what the answer is (other than to try and be more comfortable with making the first move!) but i wanted to say i totally get where you're coming from and it sucks. i definitely think it has more to do with shyness/uncertainty than with whether you are attractive.

Mr Nice Guy · 03-29-2012, 02:36 PM

Well you can pass the bartender a note with a hi or something and have them pass it to the Butch you like. I just have a couple of drinks and just do it. I figure it's better to try then to wonder what if.

03-29-2012, 02:33 PM	#2
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,440 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	i'm extremely shy and terrible at letting people know i'm interested in them, and i have exactly the same problem. hugs i'm not sure what the answer is (other than to try and be more comfortable with making the first move!) but i wanted to say i totally get where you're coming from and it sucks. i definitely think it has more to do with shyness/uncertainty than with whether you are attractive.

03-29-2012, 02:36 PM	#3
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well you can pass the bartender a note with a hi or something and have them pass it to the Butch you like. I just have a couple of drinks and just do it. I figure it's better to try then to wonder what if.