It Hurts Me.

[tara_kerrie]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

All true.

However, younger or newer Butches, who have not been around our dynamic, sometimes need some guidance in the what is and is not cool to say, and how to get tables, open doors and all the wonderful things you guys do for us!

I am one of the younger or newer butches that you mentioned BUT I do treat ladies with respect. I try to always open doors for her. I would NEVER dream of asking her to do anything like mentioned above.
It frustrates me that my generation and younger do not have these values and morals taught to them as they are growing up.
I was raised by a preacher to say yes ma'am, no ma'am, etc. he taught the boys to open doors for ladies. He taught them to be respectful no matter what. When I came out I adopted those values for me.
A promise to all the femme's reading this...i will NEVER treat a lady the way that some of you have been treated.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

I am one of the younger or newer butches that you mentioned BUT I do treat ladies with respect. I try to always open doors for her. I would NEVER dream of asking her to do anything like mentioned above.
It frustrates me that my generation and younger do not have these values and morals taught to them as they are growing up.
I was raised by a preacher to say yes ma'am, no ma'am, etc. he taught the boys to open doors for ladies. He taught them to be respectful no matter what. When I came out I adopted those values for me.
A promise to all the femme's reading this...i will NEVER treat a lady the way that some of you have been treated.

Ha, I was raised by a preacher too, maybe that ios why I love nice manners.

I hope I did not sound like I was slamming younger Butches, just that in some cases people need to be told how we expect to be treated.

[tara_kerrie]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Ha, I was raised by a preacher too, maybe that ios why I love nice manners.

I hope I did not sound like I was slamming younger Butches, just that in some cases people need to be told how we expect to be treated.

Apoc, in this case I think slamming younger butches is a good thing. They need to learn!

[Just_G]

Sorry, but slamming younger butches is never okay. That is no way to get the point across. It bothers me to see so many peopke saying that butches need to ”be trained”. We are not a bunch of animals. People are raised differently....this, to me, is not just a butch issue. I have met many people of different identities that have no respect for others. I thank God that I am well mannered, polite, and know how to treat women and human beings in general. Respect.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Just_G

Sorry, but slamming younger butches is never okay. That is no way to get the point across. It bothers me to see so many peopke saying that butches need to ”be trained”. We are not a bunch of animals. People are raised differently....this, to me, is not just a butch issue. I have met many people of different identities that have no respect for others. I thank God that I am well mannered, polite, and know how to treat women and human beings in general. Respect.

OK, I respect that.

But followed out to its logical conclusion, that leaves newer Butches who have not been around Femmes and have no idea how to act left out there with no guidance. Especially since we are all different people in different geographical locations with differing opinions of what is "good manners"

So if a Butch treats me in a way I don't like I just walk away rather than saying "hey, this is not ok for me and this is why?"

I never said Butches were a bunch of animals. I don't think that. And I think you know I don't think that . What would you do in the original poster's case?

[Novelafemme]

I think this comes down to a matter of symantics...slammed vs guidance. Two very different words with very different etemology.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

I think this comes down to a matter of symantics...slammed vs guidance. Two very different words with very different etemology.

I could have used a better word in my post. lol.

Just trying to say all Femmes are people and people are different and we each have our own list of what is "good manners" to us and we can't just expect all Butches to know what we want and need.

Ha, I used to expect a certain level of behavior, now I see it is not fair to have those expectations without sharing what those expectations are.

It's not a Butch/Femme thing. It's a how I need to be treated thing. What to me, is treating me with respect.

What is good manners in Upstate New York, for example is wayyyy different than what is considered good manners in Nashville.

[tara_kerrie]

Originally Posted by Just_G

Sorry, but slamming younger butches is never okay. That is no way to get the point across. It bothers me to see so many peopke saying that butches need to ”be trained”. We are not a bunch of animals. People are raised differently....this, to me, is not just a butch issue. I have met many people of different identities that have no respect for others. I thank God that I am well mannered, polite, and know how to treat women and human beings in general. Respect.

I respect your opinion G. I didn't mean they need to be trained. I have seen a few people in my area treat their partner's worse than they would treat their dog. This is the type of behavior that is unacceptable to me.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by KerrieH

I respect your opinion G. I didn't mean they need to be trained. I have seen a few people in my area treat their partner's worse than they would treat their dog. This is the type of behavior that is unacceptable to me.

I wonder if they don't know any better or are just jerks? I try to assume they don't know any better, but maybe that is condescending? Not sure.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

I wonder if they don't know any better or are just jerks? I try to assume they don't know any better, but maybe that is condescending? Not sure.

They SHOULD know better they are female bodied people with the same herstory as a Femme.

The part that oogs me out is the butches the OP mentioned adopted Patriarchal way of "pimping" women out for special favors, food, and other amenities which to "me" is just downright disgusting.

I do expect more from someone who's got the same LGBTIQ culture to NOT Impose these gross behaviours upon my person.

I think we all should have that respect and expectation from one another.