Are butches really a dying breed?

[alexri]

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I think I just figured it out OS = old school?

I'm an old school femme, I think.....
I want someone to open my door

And as a butch, I totally respect all you want someone to do for you, and that's what I expect/want my roles/jobs to be. And I enjoy doing all that for a femme if it makes her happy. It's done out of love, respect and admiration, or as rituals of the relationship. I do it not because I *have* to but because I *want* to.

In discussions about this w/ other queer friends, some femmes said they didn't want all this because they didn't want to be seen as weaker/lesser, or stuck in 1950's female roles, where the wife just cooked and smiled and looked pretty. I tried to convey that none of these actions are done by a butch to make you feel lesser, not equal, or too weak to handle any of this. And many butches don't do it to carry on hetero roles. It's done as a sign of affection for one's lady. But I don't think some see it that way.

I have heard both extremes from women... that I am not butch enough... and on the other side, sadly from some lesbians, that they might as well just date a guy. I try to explain that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses and sometimes they blur along genderlines.

All the earlier comments about the impact of social media and television make a lot of sense. GLBT visibility is completely different now than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago. When the L Word came out, there were so many Shane look-a-likes it was sad. And when Queer As Folk was out, it was all about the club scene for a lot of gay men. It was like straight teens and fashion magazines... "oh this is what I'm supposed to look like." Just MHO.

[Beloved]

Originally Posted by alexri

In discussions about this w/ other queer friends, some femmes said they didn't want all this because they didn't want to be seen as weaker/lesser, or stuck in 1950's female roles, where the wife just cooked and smiled and looked pretty. I tried to convey that none of these actions are done by a butch to make you feel lesser, not equal, or too weak to handle any of this. And many butches don't do it to carry on hetero roles. It's done as a sign of affection for one's lady. But I don't think some see it that way.

This is a little off topic but the 1950's housewife thing just made me think of it. I have met men and butches who want a 1950's housewife kinda girl and who (butches/men) want to be the head of the house. I find it rather amusing because not only do they want a housewife but they also want their woman to work outside the home. That's NOT a 1950's housewife. That's a slave. They want the feminine person of the relationship to work double time and make all the sacrifices and then have little power in the relationship. No thank you...

[*Anya*]

I do not believe that butches are a "dying breed" (what a phrase!).

There have always been masculine women and there always will be. There always have been the transgendered. There will always be what the Native Americans call the "two spirited".

Any search engine can bring up images of butches from the time that photography was invented and photographers were able to take pictures!

How someone is born is different than whatever role either society or a cohort thrusts upon us.

We may even chose to have roles! (Some femmes may want to be a 1950's housewife!)

There will always be butches and femmes.

How we may chose to live our lives, is something else entirely.

[SleepyButch]

I would hope that we are not a dying breed. Maybe future generations will decide not to use the term Butch.. I don't know.

What I do know is that I would not want to be anything else then what I am right now. If I had a choice in my next life, I would come back as a Butch who loves femmes. I would not want it to be any other way.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Beloved

This is a little off topic but the 1950's housewife thing just made me think of it. I have met men and butches who want a 1950's housewife kinda girl and who (butches/men) want to be the head of the house. I find it rather amusing because not only do they want a housewife but they also want their woman to work outside the home. That's NOT a 1950's housewife. That's a slave. They want the feminine person of the relationship to work double time and make all the sacrifices and then have little power in the relationship. No thank you...

I think it helps, maybe, to not confuse id's with personal preferences and basic people stuff.

I have been with femmes who want me to be the head of the house, who wanted to be June Cleaver, who did not want to work outside the home, who were offended if I did a load of laundry or god forbid cooked myself lunch. Didnt work well for me. Does work for others.

People like and want different stuff. Id's do not.

As a female id, feminist butch, I like women who have goals for themselves, personally and professionally, who are looking for a partner to share the load, who strive to develop themselves in ways that help them to refine who they are.

The outside stuff may catch my eye but its the person inside who will hold my attention and gain my respect.

[Beloved]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I have been with femmes who want me to be the head of the house, who wanted to be June Cleaver, who did not want to work outside the home, who were offended if I did a load of laundry or god forbid cooked myself lunch. Didnt work well for me. Does work for others.

I don't think you are understanding my point. It's fine if you want a 1950's housewife that does NOT work outside the home. My complaint is wanting a 1950's housewife AND expect her to work outside the home. That is my complaint. I think it's unfair to try to have it both ways.

If it works for somebody, I guess that's alright. I would feel taken advantage of, personally.

[Blaze]

I personally don't think butches are a dying breed, now some say we may become extinct... We are just becoming a back burner house hold name because of all the other newer word terms usage that the younger generations are choosing to express their self being as.
I am a proud butch, proud of what the generation before me forged forward to give me freedoms to do, proud for being able to continue their hard grueling torment that society induced on them and us. I had someone ask me the other day, why is it that the word butch for a man more accepted then for a woman. She felt that butch woman should just be known as Dykes. That kind of made me feel sad, to think that the heterosexual community gives the credit to the men more, and are thinking that butch woman should just keep dyke as a prize possession trophy word.
This is why I am even more proud of being a Butch. It is still a cause worth standing for.

I have more to say, but will be back later!

[KayCee]

all I can say is : I hope not!

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Beloved

I don't think you are understanding my point. It's fine if you want a 1950's housewife that does NOT work outside the home. My complaint is wanting a 1950's housewife AND expect her to work outside the home. That is my complaint. I think it's unfair to try to have it both ways.

If it works for somebody, I guess that's alright. I would feel taken advantage of, personally.

I think I understood you well. You are not someone who would want to be in a relationship where you were expected to both June Cleaver AND work outside of the home. I may not have connected the dots the right way tho in my response.

The point was "people" not "ids" have certain preferences, wants, desires, ideals, expectations etc when it comes to relationships. Different stuff works for different people. Some stuff that works for others would drive me absolutely nuts. Some things I might want might make others feel unuseful or whatever.

Sometimes, I think we come to believe, in this case, that butches are a dying breed, cuz we cant find that person who compliments what we, personally, are looking for. We might find "the look" but we have trouble finding "the right person".

[rustedrims]

I have been reading in here for a while.
I dont think so much that we are a dying breed,I think it is a ID issue.As the young ones step up and come out there are different names/titles/ID's.Like it was mentioned a few times.We are still here but maybe not as visable.
I think Old School best describes me as i am reading.
I like to cut the grass and take out the garbage.I like to tear rooms apart and put them back together different than what they were.I would rather build shelves in the garage than buy them.I use to send my "x" to work in my truck and take her car to work to fill the gas tank up.I also payed.I kept her car clean and waxed,check the oil and even change it.I even go out in the garage and start her car to warm it up in my socks.I would even lay on her side of the bed to get it warm for her.This is the best one of all,i would get up first to sit on the toilet to get that warm for her to.I did it all and more.She took advantage of it.

I like all the make up and cutsie skirts and those killer heels.Pretty Femme hands should never be pumping gas.Should be a law about that.I will step up and do anything to keep those beautiful finger nails from chipping.I Love the Femmes and everything that goes with them.Like i said i guess that makes me OSButch.

[LeftWriteFemme]