The Strong Butch Female/Woman in a Patriarchal World

[Beau]

Originally Posted by Metropolis

Here's the short answer: "Just Butch" to me is and always was butch and female and/or woman... it's what I lived as my life as and it never stopped me from speaking, being, taking pride in myself as a female, a woman, a butch.
<snip>

I just feel like I'm playing into the very (online) politics that I don't support.

<snip>

If a online ID system is flawed and were using it, we're upholding it. I know the reason we're using it, to be seen, visible, but I feel like I can easily achieve that without it (we already have/do in R/L). I believe it works well for Male ID butches, and it's necessary for them. But I think it works against butches who identify with being female just in the fact alone it inadvertently draws away from the fact that most butches, real world and here are and are already recognized as female without having to qualify the word butch with an added ID to express it.

<snip>

Last... it just plain feels backwards (to me) to have to ID myself as a female because I'm a butch... and again it just feels like playing into the same online politics I don't support.

Metropolis

I don't support the online hullabaloo surrounding butch identity, either. And yes, I don't believe butch needs to be qualified as female, either. And yes, it feels backward to me as well. (But I know you already know that.)

I've yet to post an ID that says "female ID butch" or "woman ID butch", instead opting for "bulldagger" because it historically describes a butch woman like myself.

The flack surrounding defaulting to male when speaking of butch in an online setting is what prompted my responses and concerns. However, I'm thrilled if that's no longer going to be an issue. I sort of doubt it, though.

Originally Posted by BullDog

Metro and Beau, what both of you say does make a great deal of sense. I would like to just be Plain Ole Butch, but when butches who do consider themselves to be female and women don't speak up, the stereotypes and assumptions continue.

I also agree with Metro. I don't id as female, I am female. Woman identified butch? What is that. I am female and woman, and yes when we have to use it so we are not mistaken as being male identified it seems to come off as a qualifier for butch which does seem ass backwards to me. Most butches have female bodies, most butches live their lives as females, why are we using female as a qualifier for butch? Why are all the online defaults for butches male when most butches don't identify that way?

<snip>

Female and woman are already part of butch. It's redundant to say female or woman. For those who that doesn't apply to, I think it's up to them to specify what their meaning of butch is if that's important to them. "Female identified butch" came about as a reaction to male identified butch, not as something meaningful in and of itself.

<snip>

It's sexism. It's the failure to truly conceive that women can fully embrace masculinity as butches and live our lives without apology or reservation for who we are. We are butch. Being a woman and female does not take away from butch, it does not take away from our masculinity.

First, Bully, see what I responded to Metropolis above.

Further, the sexism part is what has bothered me all along. The post I made a couple of days ago trying to isolate reasons behind that was meant to address what I believe some of the root causes are for the sexism many of us witness online. Until those things aren't in play or at issue, I don't see much changing for butches in this arena. I'm always hopeful, though.

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

On the other hand, there are things I have expected from Butches, which I know are sexist...or very boy/girl. I am learning to appreciate rather than expect.

Form my standpoint it can be very different dating a Butch who sees themselves as a man and one who does not. We say the difference is in just a word, but it's not. I wonder as Femmes, how much of a guy we expect our Butches to be as opposed to how much of one they are?

<snip>

Which is why threads like this are so important as a learning tool. Yes, Butches who never get on the internetz may not know of gender ID wars, but they do know how it is to navigate the world being different and how great it would be to have friends and allies who care enough to learn what is important to them as Butch. Like honoring their choice of name and gender ID and not just assuming they will know how we expect them to act.

Thank you for this, Apocalipstic. Perhaps your posts (as well as Wickedfemme's) are an indication that this discussion is useful and may change attitudes surrounding butches.

Again, I'm always hopeful.

Lastly, I'm really done with picking apart my gender. I hope this thread can progress to a discussion of how we, as butches, face the world as women and conquer the patriarchal society's narrow-minded bullshit and not merely the disheartening nonsense we often encounter online. Because, to me, that's where our true strength matters for our entire community.

[AtLast]

Thinking a lot (and have for years) about both female & male myths. Raising a male child in US society and wanting him to respect women as well as not be constrained by societal definitions of masculinity was difficult. He was not big on the usual sports except ballet (try to do ballet without being athletic) and had a dyke for a parent and grew up in a small, redneck town.

As a butch, some of the stereotypes of what is masculine make me nuts! These did as a heterosexual as well. I see a lot of these stereotypes perpetuated in our community. My female masculinity just does not fit with this at all. Nor do they for male-identified butches.

[Jett]

Originally Posted by beau4afemme

I don't support the online hullabaloo surrounding butch identity, either. And yes, I don't believe butch needs to be qualified as female, either. And yes, it feels backward to me as well. (But I know you already know that.)

I've yet to post an ID that says "female ID butch" or "woman ID butch", instead opting for "bulldagger" because it historically describes a butch woman like myself.

The flack surrounding defaulting to male when speaking of butch in an online setting is what prompted my responses and concerns. However, I'm thrilled if that's no longer going to be an issue. I sort of doubt it, though.

Oh I'm certain it will still be an issue, my choice not to use the online F/W ID'd I didn't think would flip things on their head, it really was more something Martina's thoughts sparked in me that I'd been itchy about for a long time... and just what's right for me.

My longer explanation was more to your concerns, to say it would not change online visibility to do so, also put out my reasoning behind what I was thinking (and maybe a little extra). Not how it was going to change the world... I'm plotting that tomorrow, well not change, more take over.



**********snip*******

Lastly, I'm really done with picking apart my gender. I hope this thread can progress to a discussion of how we, as butches, face the world as women and conquer the patriarchal society's narrow-minded bullshit and not merely the disheartening nonsense we often encounter online. Because, to me, that's where our true strength matters for our entire community.

Truth, and I'm sure the conversation will evolve to all those things. I think it ends up hitting on a lot of online issues because there are so many , and well it's here on top of it...

...and I think a lot of it ends up intertwined. Partially why I spoke about aligning my "identity" back to what it always has been real world, and dropping the online ID qualifiers that I felt were tangling me up and seemingly differentiating.





[/SIZE][/FONT]

Still mulling you're "Round 2" post...


Back to you regularly scheduled program.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by beau4afemme

I don't support the online hullabaloo surrounding butch identity, either. And yes, I don't believe butch needs to be qualified as female, either. And yes, it feels backward to me as well. (But I know you already know that.)

I've yet to post an ID that says "female ID butch" or "woman ID butch", instead opting for "bulldagger" because it historically describes a butch woman like myself.

The flack surrounding defaulting to male when speaking of butch in an online setting is what prompted my responses and concerns. However, I'm thrilled if that's no longer going to be an issue. I sort of doubt it, though.




First, Bully, see what I responded to Metropolis above.

Further, the sexism part is what has bothered me all along. The post I made a couple of days ago trying to isolate reasons behind that was meant to address what I believe some of the root causes are for the sexism many of us witness online. Until those things aren't in play or at issue, I don't see much changing for butches in this arena. I'm always hopeful, though.




Thank you for this, Apocalipstic. Perhaps your posts (as well as Wickedfemme's) are an indication that this discussion is useful and may change attitudes surrounding butches.

Again, I'm always hopeful.

Lastly, I'm really done with picking apart my gender. I hope this thread can progress to a discussion of how we, as butches, face the world as women and conquer the patriarchal society's narrow-minded bullshit and not merely the disheartening nonsense we often encounter online. Because, to me, that's where our true strength matters for our entire community.

I don't think of butch women speaking up as being part of online butch identity politics, but I do agree that using "identified" as part of describing butch can play into to it. There is no "war." From now on I will make it clear that I am Butch who is female and woman, but not "identified" anything.

I think we do still need to speak up about sexism when it occurs, but picking apart gender, yeah it's getting real old.

Yes talking about how butches face and deal with the world as strong females and women in a patriarchal world sounds a lot more empowering. One small thing that does make me smile is when kids are curious about me. Sometimes they will ask me if I am a boy or girl. I say girl. Some other kids just play with me and don't think about it one way or another. I'm just happy when kids see butches as part of the normal spectrum of people in this world and their lives.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I don't think of butch women speaking up as being part of online butch identity politics, but I do agree that using "identified" as part of describing butch can play into to it. There is no "war." From now on I will make it clear that I am Butch who is female and woman, but not "identified" anything.

I think we do still need to speak up about sexism when it occurs, but picking apart gender, yeah it's getting real old.

Yes talking about how butches face and deal with the world as strong females and women in a patriarchal world sounds a lot more empowering. One small thing that does make me smile is when kids are curious about me. Sometimes they will ask me if I am a boy or girl. I say girl. Some other kids just play with me and don't think about it one way or another. I'm just happy when kids see butches as part of the normal spectrum of people in this world and their lives.

My nephew calls Cynthia the "girl who looks like a boy". He loves her. When we go see them he runs in with his arms full of nerf guns and says "choose your weapon!". I get more of "wow Aunt Jenny, you aren't very good at video games...."

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I


I think we do still need to speak up about sexism when it occurs, but picking apart gender, yeah it's getting real old.

Yes talking about how butches face and deal with the world as strong females and women in a patriarchal world sounds a lot more empowering. One small thing that does make me smile is when kids are curious about me. Sometimes they will ask me if I am a boy or girl. I say girl. Some other kids just play with me and don't think about it one way or another. I'm just happy when kids see butches as part of the normal spectrum of people in this world and their lives.

These points hit the spot, Bully!!!

It is about sexism... it is not about gender!!! Gender is fluid and frankly, I am grateful that within my lifetime, gender ignorance is being fought. Not just for the TG/I, all Butches, Femmes.... all of us here, but for every human being. Sexism is the culprit I want to see erradicated.

Yes, when I am simply a human being among the masses, I am a happy camper! Just me, strong, female masculine woman living my life, being myself!

Yet, I do run into (as we all do) unique circumstances as a consequence of my female masculinity. I'm not as sensitive to much of this as I once was, but, there are times it just plain sux! I hate it that just in terms of safety, I will not take public transportaion when going to events/activities in which I am putting on the butch like wearing a tie or tux. And that i do a mental inventory about getting anything I need at the store before I get dressed to go, so I don't have to go into a store... dappered-up.[/But the fact of the matter is, my rapid transit route intersects with a city in which a butch was kidnapped and gang raped and I'm not taking chances. Having had quite a few instances in my life in which I was physically attacked (or just about to be) because of how I look, does influence my behavior and choices. And I live 25 minutes from SF! I have been harassed on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) within the last few years. Verbal abuse is one thing... being beaten or raped is quite another!

[daisyfm]

Great thread! I thanked so many already!
My favorite part about butch women is that they are two things i like a lot: butch and women. period. two for one. the best of both worlds, the masculine and the feminine in perfect unison... music to my soul, my mind, etc, you get the picture. And when the part "woman" is rejected it is sad to me and I can understand it and respect it, yet I don't have to agree with certain things.
A lot of what is said here, and a lot of what happens in real time truly
makes me wonder why some people would want to fit in the binary system.
In my real time community I am seeing it a lot among both lesbian and trans groups. Nowadays everyone wants marriage and maybe children, and maybe a house, to live within the "binary security walls". Once upon a time, we were all outlaws and wanted to live as far away from the binary as possible. Go figure. Times change. I know that even if as a high femme I pass in the straight world I am NOT one of them for sure, I might never be in a binary system, I have lost jobs for being out (twice) and I don't want to be one of them either!
So yeah...what Butches have to deal with due to patriarchy is a lot. Period.
Even if they are out on a job, rarely do wives/partners get invited to corporate events, or picnics, and in other fields, there is much discrimination as well.