Trans Appreciation

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by Toughy

me in this color and I'm doing it this way to keep me on track...



My life would be incomplete without femmes. I am grateful every day of my life that femme exists. There are some femmes I am not so grateful about........such as the ones who refuse to use female pronouns and see butch as male/man, who always default butch away from woman and feminine.....

So yes I feel thanks from many of my femme sisters. That was never my point. The point is where this thread was placed and the incongruity between the title and the content of the post.

Hope this helps....happy to clarify if needed.

thank you for writing that particular sentence.

i am consistently guilty of applying male ID'd pronouns to the butch folk in my life, though out of insensitivity or habit rather than any unwillingness to use female - or neutral - pronouns. i appreciate your candor as well as the constant and gentle - and even not so gentle - reminders of that misstep that i find in many threads. i keep reminding myself that my own invisibility usually makes me feel dismissed and heartworn. i really dont want to be the source of a similar kind of negation for others.

something else that i'm guilty of is projecting the privilege of my own "outness" onto others. specifically, i have made mistakes with regard to friends who choose not to be overt about being transgendered. i really feel like an asshat when i do it. i dont want to tell anyone elses story or expose anyone elses life to scrutiny - or G*d help them, danger - but i have been known to be insensitive about the degree to which people in my life share themselves with others. for the transmen and women who have not told me to go f*ck myself i am truly appreciative. and for those who have, i have to admit that i understand. i think that i just wish it were the same non-issue for others that it is for me.

i'd like to hear more about the things you and Greyson are talking about so i'm going to sit back and be quiet now. just wanted to throw my own appreciation and attempt at accountability into the mix because i have a great deal of admiration for the ways people embrace and express their self-respect and really hope i can learn to do the same for myself.