Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

girl_dee · 10-02-2012, 12:47 PM

Electrocell you and i chatted about this before, and i have thought about it since then..

IMO regarding flowers or any other nicety, it depends on the conversations and situation leading up to the "meeting".

Showing up to pick someone up at home for a date, with some flowers.. to be escorted on a date can be a good thing.

If iv'e been chatting to you online and you show up with a bouquet of flowers at a concert for example, at out first meeting i may feel uncomfy about that. Especially if i don't like attention drawn to myself, that would be overdoing it for me. Trying too hard. Just meet me for some conversation and coffee in clean clothes, sober, with your respect in tact and that would go way further than flowers.

i do agree first dates are about getting to know each other. i've never been impressed with flowers per se, now a nice fishing rod, that would impress me. At least it required a thought process about me.

However, i do like a simple daisy.

Electrocell · 10-02-2012, 01:26 PM

That was why I was asking if I was out of date when it came to stuff like this . Haven't dated in a long time and am willing to ask the the advice of the all the ladies . Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Electrocell you and i chatted about this before, and i have thought about it since then..

IMO regarding flowers or any other nicety, it depends on the conversations and situation leading up to the "meeting".

Showing up to pick someone up at home for a date, with some flowers.. to be escorted on a date can be a good thing.

If iv'e been chatting to you online and you show up with a bouquet of flowers at a concert for example, at out first meeting i may feel uncomfy about that. Especially if i don't like attention drawn to myself, that would be overdoing it for me. Trying too hard. Just meet me for some conversation and coffee in clean clothes, sober, with your respect in tact and that would go way further than flowers.

i do agree first dates are about getting to know each other. i've never been impressed with flowers per se, now a nice fishing rod, that would impress me. At least it required a thought process about me.

However, i do like a simple daisy.

girl_dee · 10-02-2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Electrocell

That was why I was asking if I was out of date when it came to stuff like this . Haven't dated in a long time and am willing to ask the the advice of the all the ladies . Thank you.

You are truly a nice gent...

thedivahrrrself · 10-02-2012, 03:51 PM

There's a place for talk about exes, one of the first things you want to know about someone is why they're single. It brings up red flags if it's ALL the ex's fault, and you are always the innocent victim in the ends of your relationships. It's also a big red flag if you go on & on about an ex. You're probably not over her yet.

I second everything gaea said about obsession with "hotness" - HUGE turn-off!

And if I ever decide to date Dee, I'm bringing a fishing pole

imperfect_cupcake · 10-02-2012, 04:17 PM

I think it just depends on who you are as a person regarding ex stuff. Since I don't want to date, I just want to hang out, then that means there are no "rules" about what one can say or talk about. I get to know them without being treated differently than a friend. And that way, I know a bit better about who they are, and for them to know who I am.

One of the things I HATE is when people stop the "best foot forward" bullshit and suddenly become who they are when relaxed and a friend. They aren't usually as attentive or interested or ...whatever. I'd like to get to know and accept how to be a real friend to someone (and vs versa) first. Will that turn into a relationship? who knows. More concerned about the friendship.

So as one's friend, yeah, actually, I wanna hear all about it - lay it on me. I actually also understand missing someone but not wanting to be with them. I don't know... after a marriage ending 5000 miles from home?? I "get" that sometimes you just won't get over what happened/an ex. No matter how much therapy you have. And I'd like to hear all about it.

If someone though, like stated, is never to blame, doesn't see how they contributed to any of the relationships ending, is excessively angry (instead of eyebally irritated) over something that happened and never wants to talk about it? not my kind of relationship person. We won't get along.

Would prefer to hang out and learn all that shit first.

And I don't mean on line getting to know you. I don't do that anymore. So if people are talking about long online dicussions and then meeting for a date... no. I mean meeting up asap to hang out as friends so one is at least reasonably local. Luckliy I can do that as I don't live in a small town with no transport.

No more internet stuff, I spent 12 years doing that! too much build up for me. that makes me tired too, along with the thought of dating...

girl_dee · 06-28-2017, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Electrocell you and i chatted about this before, and i have thought about it since then..

IMO regarding flowers or any other nicety, it depends on the conversations and situation leading up to the "meeting".

Showing up to pick someone up at home for a date, with some flowers.. to be escorted on a date can be a good thing.

If iv'e been chatting to you online and you show up with a bouquet of flowers at a concert for example, at out first meeting i may feel uncomfy about that. Especially if i don't like attention drawn to myself, that would be overdoing it for me. Trying too hard. Just meet me for some conversation and coffee in clean clothes, sober, with your respect in tact and that would go way further than flowers.

i do agree first dates are about getting to know each other. i've never been impressed with flowers per se, now a nice fishing rod, that would impress me. At least it required a thought process about me.

However, i do like a simple daisy.

Update!

It depends on who the date is with. If we are romantically involved, please do go all out. At this stage in my life i would like to know i am important and that you are present with me. i've never liked the attention that spoiling me comes with, but i am over it. Spoil me.

If we are on a first date you obviously have my interest. Talk about something engaging, lose the cellphone, notice me and expect me to notice you. On a first date i am about gathering information, and to see if there will be a second. Maybe they won't want a second, and thats fine too.

Be a good tipper if you are paying and walk me to my car.

Don't forget to make sure i got home okay.

10-02-2012, 03:51 PM	#4
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,656 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	There's a place for talk about exes, one of the first things you want to know about someone is why they're single. It brings up red flags if it's ALL the ex's fault, and you are always the innocent victim in the ends of your relationships. It's also a big red flag if you go on & on about an ex. You're probably not over her yet. I second everything gaea said about obsession with "hotness" - HUGE turn-off! And if I ever decide to date Dee, I'm bringing a fishing pole __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

10-02-2012, 12:47 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,830 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Electrocell you and i chatted about this before, and i have thought about it since then.. IMO regarding flowers or any other nicety, it depends on the conversations and situation leading up to the "meeting". Showing up to pick someone up at home for a date, with some flowers.. to be escorted on a date can be a good thing. If iv'e been chatting to you online and you show up with a bouquet of flowers at a concert for example, at out first meeting i may feel uncomfy about that. Especially if i don't like attention drawn to myself, that would be overdoing it for me. Trying too hard. Just meet me for some conversation and coffee in clean clothes, sober, with your respect in tact and that would go way further than flowers. i do agree first dates are about getting to know each other. i've never been impressed with flowers per se, now a nice fishing rod, that would impress me. At least it required a thought process about me. However, i do like a simple daisy.

10-02-2012, 04:17 PM	#5
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think it just depends on who you are as a person regarding ex stuff. Since I don't want to date, I just want to hang out, then that means there are no "rules" about what one can say or talk about. I get to know them without being treated differently than a friend. And that way, I know a bit better about who they are, and for them to know who I am. One of the things I HATE is when people stop the "best foot forward" bullshit and suddenly become who they are when relaxed and a friend. They aren't usually as attentive or interested or ...whatever. I'd like to get to know and accept how to be a real friend to someone (and vs versa) first. Will that turn into a relationship? who knows. More concerned about the friendship. So as one's friend, yeah, actually, I wanna hear all about it - lay it on me. I actually also understand missing someone but not wanting to be with them. I don't know... after a marriage ending 5000 miles from home?? I "get" that sometimes you just won't get over what happened/an ex. No matter how much therapy you have. And I'd like to hear all about it. If someone though, like stated, is never to blame, doesn't see how they contributed to any of the relationships ending, is excessively angry (instead of eyebally irritated) over something that happened and never wants to talk about it? not my kind of relationship person. We won't get along. Would prefer to hang out and learn all that shit first. And I don't mean on line getting to know you. I don't do that anymore. So if people are talking about long online dicussions and then meeting for a date... no. I mean meeting up asap to hang out as friends so one is at least reasonably local. Luckliy I can do that as I don't live in a small town with no transport. No more internet stuff, I spent 12 years doing that! too much build up for me. that makes me tired too, along with the thought of dating...