FTM place to vent and talk

[Hominid]

Oh -Julien -

Another thing that REALLY, really helps - once you realize that straight people don't perceive you as trans, you may find it help a lot to spend an afternoon at a bookstore, or browsing Home Depot - anywhere with people, all by yourself. Every guy who ignores you or nods, every woman who ignores you or smiles at you, the little flirtations from the woman selling coffee (or guy) - it is extremely empowering when the rest of your life is more complex and filled with people transitioning along with you (in their perception of you).

Do it as soon as you can. It's a treat.

[BrutalDaddy]

Julien, I can totally get where you're coming from. In the "inbetween" stage myself in a lot of ways. Most of my family gets that I was born in wrong body but only few of them acknowledge it. Same with friends.

Depending on how my hair is cut, I'll either get Sir'ed or Ma'am'ed on a day to day basis. Not sure what the hell makes it one way or the other but I know it has to be more then just the looks. Maybe it's Ma'am when I'm having one of my "pitiful" me days. Lol. Who knows. And for the record I am NOT saying that when I'm all meek and mild that's when folks "see me as a female" so therefore that must be what I'm saying. No. What I am saying is when I carry myself with confidence and look folks in the eye and a square jaw, they tend to stick with their first instinct which is usually Sir. Only if I look away do they then go into the whole, "Oh shit Ma'am, I'm sorry. How can I help you Ma'am?"

Julien, I realize this is a bit off topic but I'm a lil slow sometimes (just ask the wife) and it just now dawned on me that you live very VERY close to 'sational and I. We'd love to get together for coffee sometime if you'd like? I won't be home for at least two more weeks but if you wanted to spend time with "family" before then, 'sational has time on her hands. I'm sure she'd love to meet up for some coffee. She'll take any excuse to drink coffee. Lol. Plus we both don't have a whole lotta rainbow family round here so it'd be pretty bad ass to not only have one but one from here!

No pressure at all. Lol. Just realized that must come across like some sales pitch or something. If so, sorry about that. Just pm one of us if ya want to and if not, totally get it.

As far as the inbetween stage goes, it's here for a while until I get some of my own personal shit squared away. Only way can consciously make decision to be on T and be doing it for the right reasons, i.e. for myself and not so society sees me for who I really am. It does suck sometimes because you're like caught in this midair jump that you can't go back on or finish so you're just left hanging there for now. Eh, that's life. Won't lie though, I do look forward to growing facial hair. Just once. Used to watch Hank (sperm donor whom the state calls my father) shave in the morning and I can remember just being so damn envious. I'm not talking in my teen years either but at the age of three and four. Would slather my face with shaving cream and use this really old shaving kit mom had found at a garage sale and gotten for me. Had no blade in it. God, I think she subconsciously knew even before I did.

Okay, rambled enough for this post. Thanks guys. Julien, let us know either way if you want? Again, no pressure at all. I'm serious.


Brute.


P.S. My wife gets confused when I call her 'sational so I'll just stick with her name, julie.

[Hominid]

Avatar Change 'cause I keep thinking "holy crap, did I post that?" and it's Brutal

[BrutalDaddy]

Originally Posted by Hominid

Avatar Change 'cause I keep thinking "holy crap, did I post that?" and it's Brutal

LOL. Sorry about that!

I chose this one cause I love monkeys and I wear glasses.



Four Eyed Monkey Lover,
Brute.


P.S. I love monkeys so much I even have a tatt of one. /End Derail.

[DMW]

I think that is funnier than hell Brute....I have been called that before....
Monkey

Keepin' it light is nice

I hope you are safe on the road out there...where are you Brute?

You guys are makin' me laugh reading your stories. The TSA...uh huh..
Another thing that cracks me up...I call trans - friendly toilets ...(TFT's)....
This is a good tool to have and use in public with others...depending on the situation.

I love goin' into the mens room to piss and there are just urinals or no doors....
Lovin' that especially when i am about to whizz my pants and my bladder is bursting...and screamin' at me and me EYE balls are just about to pop out of me HEAD....OY(sarcasm).
That right there is a great feeling and very healthy for our bladders....can anyone say
dehydration? So, important to drink enough water. I do.
I am comfortable in the men's room majority of the time. Just not lovin it when there isn't a door.
A lot more comfortable in the men's than i ever was in the women's restroom. I never really was
comfortable there...i was shy and felt like an intruder. but, i was a gentleman
(when i used to have to go in there) ...you know? Even as a child growing up it felt so wrong.
So confusing.
just don't look at anything. But, embarrassing to go in there. Scary even!
Gonna go try and watch the TV...I hope Obama wins...

[Hominid]

I know you had it first - I thought it went well with "Hominid" - but I'm way more into aliens than chimps - you win! Except they didn't have an alien with glasses ...

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

LOL. Sorry about that!

I chose this one cause I love monkeys and I wear glasses.



Four Eyed Monkey Lover,
Brute.


P.S. I love monkeys so much I even have a tatt of one. /End Derail.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Hominid

I know you had it first - I thought it went well with "Hominid" - but I'm way more into aliens than chimps - you win! Except they didn't have an alien with glasses ...

I have a Jack avatar for you Hominid.
They are out there in cyber space.
You should check them out.

DMW

[Hominid]

Now what?

We met on OKC, apparently she had been "looking" at me for several months - but has been moving, changing jobs, etc. and wasn't actively reaching out to anyone. She was one of my "mandatory" few that I send a message to a week. We met for breakfast - have talked on the phone a few times, and now we're going to the movies and dinner Saturday (not very original, but neither of us has been in a while and it's kind of retro).

Anyway, she is straight. Well, not really - well - she defines as straight but was with a few women over 8 years ago. She's never been with anyone trans, doesn't know anyone trans. She told me tonight she gets a little wobbly in the knees when we talk and has said nothing about my being trans or made no references to it ... which I admit is kind of nice.

That said, if we get that far (which won't be this week), how does one deal with sex? My ex and I had sex pretty much the same way after transition as before - and I was with a woman last year sexually who had been with butch lesbians so the "hardware" thing was just a given (hearkening to my comment about it being a little easier to date queer women). So, I mean, you're making out ... one thing leads to another ... then you excuse yourself? Do I talk about this very thing so when the time comes she's like "go upstairs honey, I'll be up in a minute" so I can be in bed already?

I plan to take my time, not rush into sex, but I'm curious about others' experiences with this delicate, embarrassing (to me) issue.

[DMW]

I didn't really do anything to deserve all the thanks for the thread. There are other trans threads...and anyone of us could have done it.Plus, i had help from others here in starting it. Linus did more than i did really.

I haven't had time to read all of this...but, man do i have similar and different experiences going on inside my head while reading about all of you guys's. And the really thoughtful threads... i want to delve more into myself again and analyze and reflect more and go there...(need more self time hugh?) but, i have to save some energy. Don't have a whole lot of extra time. Some really thoughtful posts.

The one "ISSUE" that really disturbs me about the laws in our society... when it comes to being FTM or MTF...is how dangerous it can be for some of us who don't have the correct gender marker on our ID's.
i.e. One that reflects the sex in which people perceive us as... is really the safest.Personally, My gender marker on my ID is Male. I am lucky. But, for those of us who don't have that security...God that makes my skin boil! Seriously, society needs to understand how dangerous this is for trans people...and others and the laws should be changed in order to give each person the ability to CHOOSE what suits them. Burning precious energy...