"Stud" versus "Butch"

[Samurai Wanderer]

Originally Posted by Daktari

However, It is also my long time experience that self empowering labels are anathema to many within the wider 'gay' 'community' but not so much in the pan sexual kink 'community'. It is this that led me on my own path to individual gender expression.

I don't quite understand this part. Why would the gay community want to avoid self empowering labels? Aren't we in the business of self-empowering?

[always2late]

Growing up in a multi-cultural area of Brooklyn, I heard the term "papi" used, but it was primarily used in a straight setting. I'd also heard the term "stud"...again primarily in straight discourse. I never heard the terms "stud" "aggressive" or "papi" used in the LGBT context until I joined the LGBT club at my college. From my own experience, I found this to be more an issue of age than of diversity. I live, and work, in a very diverse community, however, it wasn't until I spent time with the 20-something age group that I heard the terms used frequently. Now...I'm not saying that the terms weren't, or haven't, been used in a cultural context for many years..just that I'd never heard them. I will say that, when I joined the club at my college, it made my heart sing to hear young butches, studs, aggressives, and every other self-identifier used with such freedom and pride! It has, and still does, make my heart leap a bit when I see the younger generation...those coming after me...embrace who they are with whatever ID they choose so freely and with such an unabashed sense of self. I admire them, I cheer for them, I support them...and I love them all.

Originally Posted by Samurai Wanderer

I don't quite understand this part. Why would the gay community want to avoid self empowering labels? Aren't we in the business of self-empowering?

Yes 'we' are.
However I find that in the wider 'gay community' I encounter here in UK, including many of my 'gay' friends, folks don't use the labels we embrace here in the b/f world. Mostly I find the attitude to be "I'm just me, I don't need labels". I have observed that those who embrace labels are those who don't 'fit', into the wider gay 'community'.

It is my experience that most folks I come into contact with, homo or hetero, don't understand the need for self empowering, self identifying labels...until a patient person explains the need.

[Samurai Wanderer]

Originally Posted by Daktari

Yes 'we' are.
However I find that in the wider 'gay community' I encounter here in UK, including many of my 'gay' friends, folks don't use the labels we embrace here in the b/f world. Mostly I find the attitude to be "I'm just me, I don't need labels". I have observed that those who embrace labels are those who don't 'fit', into the wider gay 'community'.

It is my experience that most folks I come into contact with, homo or hetero, don't understand the need for self empowering, self identifying labels...until a patient person explains the need.

It's been overwhelming to sift through and keep up with the labels, I had given up. After finding this community, it feels that for once, there are labels that I might be able to identify with. Thank you for explaining, I've never thought of labels as self-empowering, yet I'm beginning to feel it even if I can't explain why.