Loving a Transman Isn't Easy

[Soon]

Originally Posted by SelfMadeMan

I had already transitioned when we met, and she only knew me as male,

Yeah, totally not what I was trying to get at.

[BrutalDaddy]

Originally Posted by Soon

Yeah, totally not what I was trying to get at.

Maybe he misunderstood cause this is a thread about loving transmen?

There's tons of other threads about enjoying being with female/women ided butches from what I understand. Maybe try those out? Unless you're speaking of FTMs/transguys who do not ignore the fact they were female in the past? I know a few on here who have stated that and might be some threads on it.

I'm not exactly sure which you're speaking of so tried to cover both bases.


Just A Suggestion,
Brute.

[Soon]

BrutalDyke,

Have you read the thread? It's about femmes/women who have some difficulty with their partner's transition.

[Soon]

Also, Brutal Dyke...this is the Femme Zone...so, um, how about staying in the trans threads and letting me vent about my shit about my ex transitioning?

[femmsational]

Originally Posted by Soon

Also, Brutal Dyke...this is the Femme Zone...so, um, how about staying in the trans threads and letting me vent about my shit about ex transitioning?

Vent your shit but it would be nice if it didn't tranlate to taking your shit out on someone else.

Are we now only allowed to post in our little box here?

Holy cow....I need to step outta this cause I don't get it, and don't want it.


j

[DMW]

Originally Posted by Soon

Also, Brutal Dyke...this is the Femme Zone...so, um, how about staying in the trans threads and letting me vent about my shit about my ex transitioning?

Soon, my apologies. I didn't realize it is a femme zone. Sincerely, everyone
deserves a place where they feel comfortable to share.

My respects,
DMW

I don't think she was being hostile?

[*Anya*]

I feel I must say this:

The title of this thread is Loving a Transman isn't Easy, in the femme zone.

What I read in Soon's original post was that this subject was very difficult for her because she had been in love with a female-bodied butch. She loved her butch and her female-born body.

The unsaid was clearly that her butch transitioned and that it was very hard for her, so hard she really could not talk about it.

Soon was only referring to herself. Self-Made Man and DMV's posts were supportive and appeared to "hear" where Soon was coming from.

I saw a very good documentary on Netflix a couple of years ago, about transmen. One of the segments explored a lesbian couple and how it was for them when the butch came to terms with being trans and went on T and how it was for the partner who went through her feelings of loss and sadness. It gave me some real empathy for the femme's perspective and experience.

[Soon]

Well, now that is all coming out in the wash ... so to speak.

Yeah, when the love of my life transitioned it was hell on me. Hell.

I had made it VERY clear that I was not attracted to FTM's.

Just not my thing...he was not the man I fell in love with...regardless of how much love was there.

Kudos to all the femmes who can deal but I could not.

I feel no one discusses this, and I thought this thread would be a bit supportive in that regard.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

The unsaid was clearly that her butch transitioned and that it was very hard for her, so hard she really could not talk about it.

I mean, beyond your other words, you really summed up my heart here.

I'm grateful that I can even CONTEMPLATE (*nods to siteowners) talking about it. That's how weird it is in my head and also how I don't want to offend.

[femmsational]

Originally Posted by Soon

BrutalDyke,

Have you read the thread? It's about femmes/women who have some difficulty with their partner's transition.


WTF with you telling me about threads where I can find women/female ID butches?

Wow, really?


Not sure why you are hostile. But it's not a good look.

I didn't understand your earlier post either. Would you be able to explain it again in another way. Are you saying that you are mourning the loss of the body of someone you had been with when they transitioned?? Or are you saying that you are not happy about the transition idea at all?? Or what are you saying.

I don't understand what you're wanting to say??? It could easily be read as not liking the thought transitioning. But i'll hold off on anything else cause I really don't know what we are trying to talk about.



j

[Soon]

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

Maybe he misunderstood cause this is a thread about loving transmen?


.

Coming back to this...actually, this IS NOT a thead about loving transmen (and they do exist--and thanks for telling me of other options!). Not at all. It's about the potential difficulties/challenges that one may have to face when loving someone who is trans.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Soon

Coming back to this...actually, this IS NOT a thead about loving transmen (and they do exist--and thanks for telling me of other options!). Not at all. It's about the potential difficulties/challenges that one may have to face when loving someone who is trans.

Soon, hi. I'd like to share part of my experience in hopes you don't feel isolated. I understand how you feel when it comes to the challenges and emotions that come when someone you love transitions and how it kind of leaves you in the dust.

The transitioning period was difficult, filled with anger, disappointment, it felt like a deep loss and I never got the person back that they once were once the first T shot went in.

I'd be willing to have this difficult conversation with you, but also I'd like to say that it would be difficult because it's going to be ugly, sad, angry and in emptying out our emotional tanks that like earlier there will be interruptions because it seems when Femme's speak or want to speak about these issues it happens.


Maybe you can start a thread in the Femme Zone about this particular issue and ask that it stick to Femme's posting only. Other than that it can be had here in hopes that this can be examined without someone coming in and inserting their me me me's.

It's a great topic a difficult topic and I hope you can work this out safely here

[girl_dee]

Soon, i've never been with anyone who transitioned but i do completely understand your feelings. i don't have any stories to share but i do know, that "i" would have to leave the relationship.

i hope you come and share more, and others as well, because i am very interested in what you have to say.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

There's tons of other threads about enjoying being with female/women ided butches from what I understand. Maybe try those out?

Just A Suggestion,
Brute.

I cannot let this go. Seriously? Are you telling me where to go? What threads I should be on? WTF. Maybe "try those out"? What does that mean?

This is not a single/dating/meetup thread--ffs. Unbelievable. I know what thread I am on.