Poly Relationships

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I like the two day rule idea. For me it's more about holding back but I do like to take some time and check my own motives. Trouble comes when I wait too long.

What I'm finding interesting, in my case, is that I am dating. Anything I have going on is still new. But I'm finding that my old "dating rules" do not all apply. There is much more intention and a little less "waiting to see what happens". I am finding it necessary to communicate in ways I normally wouldn't so early in a relationship - in order to nip things in the bud, as you say, or really get things off on the right foot. It may seem as if some spontaneity is taken away but in reality, it is liberating.

i am a bottom line type of person. i'd rather cut to the chase and get the dealbreaking questions out of the way. If there is something there that would stop me from going further, i'd rather know right away, and know that it won't go beyond dating if that, or end it completely. SO many times i ignored this step in relationships only to have the dealbreakers staring me in the face and me being angry about it.

So in the dating phase, i've learned not to make assumptions but to ask really hard questions and expect honesty. i have also learned that not everyone can be taken at their word, but you have to start somewhere.